Matthew Hedges

I wish to nominate Matthew Hedges for a solid counting. He chose to research a PhD thesis conducting research on the UAE’s security strategy. He goes to a dysfunctional country, where he is despised as a kafhir and is then surprised when he is arrested for espionage, undoubtedly on spurious charges. The stupid cunt then has the audacity to try to obtain public sympathy and help from the UK Government. If he is so stupid as to think that investigating a third world shithole’s security strategy is an appropriate area of study, he and his academic supervisors deserve lifetime incarceration, if only to prevent the utterly stupid cunts from breeding. An utterly stupid cunt who can only be awarded a PhD in CUNTITUDE. Hedges should be given the honorary title of Dr Cunt the stupid.

Nominated by Sir Cuntalot

30 thoughts on “Matthew Hedges

  1. Ref. Cunt of the Litter’s excellent cunting below, Sir Cuntalot! Hedges is a variation of this, an utterly naive cunt with probably a large IQ and the common sense of a cricket stump.
    An excellent job of cunting the dozy fucker.

  2. Another snowflake cunt with shit for brains and zero common sense. PhD my arse. They can keep him, and his gobby wife.

  3. Top cunting. My first thought with all of these spy cunts who are “wrongly” accused and imprisoned is that law of.averages suggests some of them probably are spies .

    Why does every snowflake cunt assume this bloke wasn’t spying ?

    He’s not likely to say he was is he?

    If he isn’t a spy then investigating sensitive stuff in a country that probably outlaws holding hands in public means that he deserves all he gets anyway.

    Bet he is one of those academics who will insist on being called Dr by everyone once he finishes his PhD (If he avoids being fucked to death inside that is).

    Yeah you are a Doctor of Cunt Studies and your new thesis subject should be “Just how fucking stupid am I?”

    I’d imagine a fairly hefty tome could be written on that subject.


  4. If this guy was a spy his cover of an academic researcher would plausible, if he was a spy the UK government would deny it.

    Most likely he is a stupid cunt with the no common sense, snowflake rose tinted view on the world.


  5. You have to wonder at the value of a PhD in these non science subjects. You get ‘doctors’ of all sorts of valueless shite, including of course Hate Studies, courtesy Leicester Uni. These places should be shut down if they cant provide proper subject matter for study.
    And as for this bellend. He knew the fucking place having been many times. How fucking dumb can you get. The cunt should have been doing an actual job like normal people.

    • … Completely agree …
      I did let out a roar of a laugh when it was being discussed on Radio 2, Jeremy Swine show…
      Caller … “Doing that sort of research in the UAE … he’s an idiot !”
      Sympathetic J.Swine … ” But he’s an acedemic”
      Caller …”Then he’s an idiot academic ..”

  6. Well said cuntflap,
    As with the “adventure tourists” and that other dim cunt held in Iran. She was teaching “journalists” and had some old BBC wage slips in her handbag. Iran, Journalism and the BBC should never appear in the same sentence. If there were Iranian journalists in the UK teaching journalism for Iranian state TV I would want the cunts locking up.
    Why oh why do we persist in assuming these sand wiggers can be educated? They pray 5 times a day using a book that was written by some prepubescent humping goat bothering cunt written 1400 years ago and never updated. I love reading tomes but fuck me if I were to live my life going over Churchill’s history of the English speaking peoples again and again I wouldn’t find anything new. Leave these half witted cunts where they are to be released on a whim to celebrate some other blambos Birthday when they are about 90.

    • Almost didn’t notice your delightful comment on the Rooney thread. Thought I’d grace you with a reply on there 😂

      • Go fuck yourself. Old posts are old posts. Once I have had a shit I don’t lay in bed cuddling the turd. I flush the pan. Don’t flatter yourself, you are just another cunt with an opinion. I don’t “do” delightful comments. If you want to spend time with lions it makes sense to roar every now and then. If you are a snowflake I suggest the Citeh boards or knitting online. Mardy cunt.

      • No mardiness here my friend. Just wanted to get my right to reply in, my comment wasn’t personal, yours turned out to be. Most people on here manage to not cunt each other, maybe you missed that part you dumb fuck?Don’t worry, next time I’m in Moon Under The Water on a Friday night I’ll be sure to make my presence known on here. Just on the off chance. Being an internet warrior doesnt do it for me. Fucking mong 😂

      • Ah, its looking for a meet then? Well either be hard or carry a big stick. Internet warrior? Oh my days. I will just ask my mate Dave Totton to look you up. He is around most weekends. We look after one another if we cant be bothered travelling to have a quiet word. Read about him if you like. Just google Brass handles. Moon under water? I don’t think you have ever been to Manchester. Stow your tits fuckface – you are just making yourself look a proper womans peehole. Know thine enemy. Bertie – the invisible man. Quite an apt name for a magoo.

  7. I’d say spy, but not a very careful one. Young toff looking rooster type impressionable kind of guy with some smarts, the type they probably look to recruit because older guys know it it’s a pile of bullshit and not worth the bother.

    • I always thought the best spies were the cunts that blended into their environments or had plausible cover stories like being an Olympic athlete or summat?

      This cunt and his chippy, non-conformist, “peaceful”, gobby cunt wife would surely have stood out like sore thumbs in a Cadbury’s chocolate finger factory?

      Ah but his doctoral thesis would have been on summat like art or climate change right? Oh no, it was on security services…?

      Hedges is quite clearly a cunt and if he is a spy (the world’s worst spy in that case, he makes Johnny English look like James Bond) then MI6 are double cunts for thinking he’d go undetected!

      Not exactly George Smiley class is it? Doss cunts!

  8. Ah, the modern “Lawrence of Arabia” and just like Lawrence recruited by MI6 to do their work for them. Of course he’s a fucking spy. All countries do this shit….., it’s called “routine intelligence.” In this country he would have been quietly put on a plane and told to fuck off home in exchange for some cunt we want, like that cunt the Ivans tried to knock off in Salisbury. The A-rabs obviously want something more than that.
    It will all be arranged under the table, the government will look good and the Guardian snowflakes will claim the credit.
    Everyone’s a winner.

  9. I am off to darkest Africa to do a thesis on the cooking techniques of the indigenous cannibalistic tribes, with an emphasis on if they think white meat is tastier than dark meat.
    Any snowflakes want to join me as an aperitif?

  10. I saw this new story and found myself having not one iota of sympathy. Rot in jail you fucking ‘tard.

  11. I don’t think that he’ll be a spy. I’d have thought that he’d have had a better cover story then investigating “security strategies”. Might as well have called himself Commander Bond,driven an Aston Martin,given his women a swift backhander before seducing them, been told all of the baddies’ plans while being dangled over a tank of sharks and escaped with the help of a besotted Fanny O’Gaping-type woman and a hypersonic racing-car disguised as a camel…..No, this Cunt’s no James Bond,just a naive,big-brain but no common-sense Wanker.

    Anyhow,didn’t our last “spy”, Gareth Williams, end up zipped up in his own gym-bag in some bizarre homosexual sex game? The Secret Services probably just gave up after that and concentrated on getting photos of Corbyn hanging out of the Abbottpotomus….not for security purposes,just vicarious thrills.

    Fuck them.

    • Agreed. A spy in the UAE, as anywhere else, would be a completely inconspicuous citizen of the UAE…EXCEPT that such a citizen would be hard to find who had access to sensitive security information. But there are one or two oddities in the story. An early al-Beeb report stated that he didn’t speak Arabic. Later it decided…

      “Who is Matthew Hedges?

      The 31-year-old is a PhD student at Durham University but his status belies an established career in research and consultancy.

      He describes himself as “an intelligence analyst at a cyber-intelligence firm in the UK” and has been an advisor for consultancy firm Gulf State Analytics since January 2016.

      Corporate investigations, due diligence and research also appear in his areas of freelance consultancy expertise.

      His research covers subjects such as defence, security, international affairs and military policy in the Middle East.

      Since starting work on his PhD at Durham University he has been employed as an associate researcher at the university’s Institute for Middle Eastern and Islamic Studies (IMEIS)”

      Not exactly a sea-green innocent, then.

      But never mind that: if he’d been doing his PhD at Durham’s IMEIS, it’s inconceivable to me that he had no Arabic. (I was once accepted for a degree course there, which included learning the language of my area of interest… but chickened out and did a science degree instead) Hence the tale that he was handed documents to sign without being able to read them would be bollocks.

      There is undoubtedly more to this than meets the eye. And good reason to think that Hedges knew the risks he was running. The rest is theatre.

  12. I’d imagine the conversation was brief when he was arrested- ‘What are you doing here?’ ‘Researching your security services’ ‘Espionage then..please, will you come this way.’

  13. There is fuck all chance of getting me to visit any country that has a crescent moon on its flag, or any affiliation with the religion of peace. Remember, you are grossly offending them just by not believing in that crap, so Fuck them and their backwards ways. I totally respect their right to live the life they see fit, however pointless an existence, and if I was to visit one of these bible era theme parks, I would obey the local laws and customs, and respect their culture, no matter how fucking ridiculous it seems. Shame that there is no need for a reciprocal arrangement.

    • As I recall, one Trident missile has 12 MIRVS so two would turn all inhabitable areas in the Middle East into glass. The fucking things are coming up to retirement anyway in a few years so it is a zero cost option.

      As for the rest, just spread them across Central Europe and job done in about 30 minutes.

  14. For someone who is doing a PhD (what ever one of them is.) On allah akbar security. To visit the country your cunting proves that you ain’t the brightest firefly in the swamp when it comes to common sense.


    If you think you can go to a totalitarian state, and study their security arrangements you are a thick cunt. Don’t do it. However I will have about 25 years to think about what I write about in chapter 2.

    25 years later ………


    Prison conditions are atrocious in shithole totalitarian states. If you do not like prison refer to chapter one.

    Author – Mathew Hedges PHD in being a thick cunt.

Comments are closed.