Richard Scudamore and the Premier League

Scudamore & the Premier League

I’ve just seen on Al-beebra that outgoing PL Executive Chairman Richard Scudamore could be in line for an eye-watering 5mill. farewell bonus, paid for by the 20 PL clubs.

Mr ’39th Game’ Scuntamore is reportedly on 2.5mill. a year, and no doubt will have a fat pension lined up to boot. Nevertheless his pal Bruce Fuck (sorry Buck) of Chelsea FC is asking clubs to stump up 250k apiece to bankroll the cunt’s mink-lined retirement plan.

This comes at a time when many lower league clubs struggle to survive financially. At a time when PL clubs regularly maintain that budgets are planned well in advance, and that there’s little surplus cash around from telly rights deals, the most recent bringing in the paltry sum of just 5.14bill. Supporters seem unimpressed. Fans are continually pissed about by fixture changes to suit the said deal, and are said to be ‘strongly opposed’ that clubs might contribute to line an already wealthy cunt’s pockets.

During my working life my ‘reward’ from my employers was my salary. That was it as far as they were concerned. Upon retirement I got a card and some gifts paid for by my colleagues. Scuntamore has been very well paid over the years,so why a fat farewell payoff as well? To my way of thinking, this is a classic case of a bunch of rich cunts looking after one of their own.

Scuntamore has played a large part in turning the beautiful game into the stinking loadsamoney pig trough we know and love today. Of course, he might play the white man and donate the cash to aid development of grassroots football, or perhaps to MacMillan Cancer Support, in which case I’ll be the first to shout ‘well done’ and applaud. I’ll wait until I see it. If he trousers it, I’ll organise another whipround myself via IsAC. There’s just one problem. I’ve got a large box but no dog. Will someone be able to provide a very large and rancid dog turd?

Nominated by Ron Knee

(It took me three attempts to create this post. Thanks shit WiFi!)

Football [5]

I’d like to cunt football.

So half of humanity are obsessed with this ‘beautiful game’.
Why? What the fuck is so great about watching a bunch of camp hipster illiterate fuckwits prance around after a ball?

How on earth is one game really any different from another? Let me guess, did one guy kick the ball towards the net? Gosh. What an utterly unique approach to the most mentally demanding of activities.

How is it that half the fuckers that play this game have some sort of affiliation with hotel room spitroasts, driving offenses or cheating on their wives? Why is every fan happy for their child to wear a shirt with these people’s names on? How come hardly anyone knows about grammar these days but everyone can pronounce every goatherders’ seventeen letter surname so long as his foot touches a ball?

And what is this obsession with going all doe-eyed at the mention of a cup ‘coming home’? It is not coming home if a bunch of somalis bring it home for you, is it?

I find the whole thing rather monotonous to be honest. But every person I have spoken to who has spent their childhood ‘kicking a ball about’ has truly shocking gaps in their education. I have recently spoken to one who did know what Auschwitz was.


Nominated by Cuntflap

Football Fans are Cunts. (That should get one or two Cunters’ attention)

Football fans really are the most entitled of any sports-followers. I’ve just been reading about a group of fans who are whinging because Mike Ashley ( Newcastle United Owner) had the audacity to flick them a sly V-sign after they’d stood outside a restaurant where he was dining shouting abuse. How very unreasonable of him. Now Mike Ashley may well be a Cunt,but if someone had been shouting abuse at me for 2 hours they’d have got a lot more than a sly V-sign.

Football fans seem to be the worst for thinking that they can hurl whatever foul abuse they fancy at people,and yet if the object of their ire has the bare-faced cheek to respond,they come over all shocked and giddy. Armed with the ubiquitous mobile-phone footage,suitably edited,they scream about how disgusted they were at their target’s behaviour. Normally “My kids were there,they were shocked” normally comes in to it. Never mind that they’ve been screaming pure vitriol for the preceding hour,their target telling them to “Fuck Off” comes as shocking behaviour worthy of police investigation…and worse still,the police are obliged to listen to the morons.

I know that other sports have their hecklers,but no other sport has the same level of pure spite that football fans exhibit. The spite doesn’t bother me,what bothers me is the hypocrisy. For grown men they seem to be remarkably thin-skinned. Apparently the mildest of swear-words or gesture,if directed at them, is enough to send them into a fit of the vapours.

Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Women’s Football

Womens football needs a cunting because frankly, who gives a flying fuck?

If you’ve read any of my previous posts you’ll know I have no time for football, its stars or its fucking fans. For me it’s just bread and circuses to keep an ignorant burger munching society in line so they don’t notice that the masses exist to serve the few. So that’s regular football for me, I would rather play with dog turds.

But Womens football? What the fuck is the point? If grown men kicking a ball around bores me to fucking tears then this is like counting hairs on a pigs scrotum while watching a dog scarf out its own anus.

Then there’s all the feminist crapola that goes with it. I heard yesterday on the BBC some stocky looking old growler saying that womens football needs a woman manager. You know what you old biffer? nobody gives a fuck. And the “home” of womens football? the fucking BBC of course.

If it was topless I would be interested but only if they got a new squad, most of them look like they’ve been round the block a few times.

What next? Peaceful womens football? I would love to see two teams of walking black postboxes having a kick around but how would they see the goal? probably use an infidel’s head as a ball too.

In short, womens football…go suck a dick and fuck off while you’re doing it.

Nominated by Spanky Mc Spank

Football [4]

I personally think football is totally vacuous and total Bollocks. Blokes running about kicking a ball.
Well that’s the beginning and end of it as far as I can see.
Some twits with small head get so excited when there teem hits the ball into a net more times than the other twits in different shirts do, and in reality these twits can’t see that nothing whatsoever has changed around them, everything is still the bloody same as it was before.
I recon that if the media etc spent as much time ranting and raving about tiddlywinks as they do this kids playground pass-time game you’d see the same Burks behaving in just the same fashion as they do now with this vacuum of a dead end pursuit.
Its literally become a religion with its elders, saints, heroes and sacred places etc.
You’d complain if the Jehovah’s whiteness forced there way into your home and force fed you with their religion every time you watched the news and had to put up with them suddenly appearing as you change the channels. how’d you feel if you had to listen to muggs enthusing about their peaceful religion in the cafe, waiting for the bus,train or where ever.
Well I’m not falling for it and you should see through this utter contempt and insult to public intelligence hype too , Bloody wast of time and fucking irritating.
LOL. 🙂

Nominated by Blue Van Man

Gary Lineker [5]

Another bandwagon insincere Mega Cunt who keeps his ugly mush shut when it suits.
Why is Gary Lineker silent over 400 Walkers staff facing the sack? Employees say vocal presenter is turning a ‘blind eye’ to the crisp plant’s closure to protect his £1.5m deal.


Nominated by Kendo Nag