Not sure if you guys have seen this latest advert for Crown paints….a nice, harmless advert for their products with quite a clever, well written jingle to go with it.

Here it is, together with a varied range of colours of performers, who are also no doubt gay/lesbian, and/or disabled as well…..so all boxes ticked, or so you would think?

You Tube Link

Well, not according to that washed up, unfunny ‘comedian’ Jenny Eclair.

She wants it banned on the following basis:

Comic Jenny Eclair said it must be taken off air over its implication that a woman “conned a man into fatherhood”.

Now, I really don’t take supposedly humorous paint adverts too seriously when it comes to the jingles lyrics, but this cunt obviously does.

Crown responded with: Apologising for it, the Darwen-based paint firm said it appreciated “people have differing views on humour”.

Firstly, I wouldn’t have apologised for it. By saying ‘sorry’ you are admitting you are in the wrong and showing weakness. I do, however agree people do have differing views on humour…….and that is why Eclair can now only scrape a living by appearing on low rent afternoon ITV shows, such as ‘Loose Women’ rather than still being a ‘comedian’…..that’s if you consider she ever was one.

Maybe, she should now apologise for her comedy acts, whereby she constantly ridiculed and belittled men.

She is a cunt of a comedian and a cunt for this nomination.

BBC News Link

Nominated by: Chuff Chugger

(After searching the ugly trout that is Eclair for the header pic, I thought a “Girl of the Month” bonus pic might just help get over the trauma! – Day Admin)

A slow, slow, quick, quick slow cunting for this poofter who’s in the ‘Celebrity’ line-up for Strictly Come Dancing. On the Radio Times website he comes up with the quote, below:

“I’m going to have to cancel my legendary Strictly launch night kitchen party that I throw every year, I’m sure my friends and family will understand. It’s also a massive honour to be part of an all-male dance partnership, it’s so important we have that inclusion on such a huge show.”

Because there’s not enough ‘Inclusion’ on the box nowadays, you patronising fuck.

(Don’t get the impression that I watch this unadulterated shite, either, it was brought to my attention whilst listening to Pop Master).

RadioTimes News Link

Nominated by: DCI Gene Cunt

Spandau Ballet are cunts.

We recently had a nom here about song lyrics getting censored by the woke Stasi.
Well, that got me thinking about some of the worst lyrics of all time. Namely those by Gary Kemp for his band, Spandau Ballet. Some real stinkers in the following:

‘She used to be a diplomat. But now she’s down the laundromat (from ‘Highly Strung’).

‘I bought a ticket to the world. But now I’ve come back again (‘True’).

‘Take your seaside arms and write the next line’ (‘True’).

‘I was just beginning to grow strong. She was only eighteen summers long’ (‘Round and Round’).

I’m just an average boy, you’re more than average girl. But when you sing to me the Shoo-be-doos you sing so well’ (‘I’ll Fly For You’).

‘We made our love on wasteland, and through the barricades’. (‘Through The Barricades’).

Absolutely rank.?

Check out this pile of wank: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/spandauballet/instinction.html
(Link provided by our resident music maestro, Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by: Norman

I fucking hate the way they all – every single one of them – collapse on the track after the last event, gasping for air and massively over-egging the pudding like some choreographed beaching of a pod of dolphins.

They have just run 800 metres as fast as they can; I get it. But no other event – including the Marathon or the Cycling road race – ends up with the whole field of competitors looking as if they have been hit with a cluster bomb or sucked in a face full of Nerve Agent.

“But the poor dears have done 7 events – they are shattered.”

Bollocks. Half of the events are just jumping or throwing something; never get out of breath and probably doesn’t add up to an hour’s work for any of them over the weekend. They are blatantly faking it to convince us that a life spent pissing around on a permanent School Sports Day is a worthwhile cause and fully deserving of lottery funding.

Try doing a real job you pampered posers, and stop taking the piss.

And do you really need a different outfit – and shoes – for each event?

All Cunts. Especially the miserable scouse bird that actually won Gold this week, Catamaran Johnson Schmonson. Face like a slapped arse and nowhere near as fit (in the proper sense of the word) as Jessica whatsername who used to win it or that Dennis Lewis who won two medals and now just rows the midget lady around in a boat.

Nominated by: Gunner Sugden

Bird poo ruined my holiday!

A full Victor Meldrew “I don’t believe it” cunting for this total Karen.

Metro News Link

She goes on holiday, in a lakeside cabin, and complains about goose crap on the patio area, which is set as an outdoor eating space, not a toddlers playground. Then when it’s cleaned complains that bleach and water were used, making the area unsafe for her 16 week old baby and two year old to play on.

Yeah, right!

Will there be a follow up about all the fox/badger/hedgehog/squirrel shit in the grass? Which wasn’t vacuumed/disinfected to her satisfaction?
What a cunt! What a blatant attempt to get money back.

Stay in Croydon, you daft twat!

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest