(Katie “Jordan” Price, back in the day – Day Admin)

Katey Price is a deluded cunt, can you think of absolutely anyone who could in the name of sanity would make a worse life coach than this crazy spunk trumpet.

Firstly i think anyone who needs the advise of a life coach already has problems, so i cant think of anyone who could possible help fuck up whats left of your pitiful, fucked up life than fucking Katy Price the paragon of good life choices, if you thought things were bad before just ask Katey and before you know it, your going to remember your old fucked up life as the good times before you got involved with this loon, while hiding from the rain in a cardboard box.

She is going to enrol on a course for £9.99 a month and then be in a position to advise people on improving their lives.

Here’s a list of life improvements Katey can help you with.

Dealing with multiple kids,
Dealing with multiple fathers [absent or present, past or future]
D,N,A testing,to get child support
Divorce,1-5
Bankruptcy whilst keeping assets,
Plastic surgery abroad and in Uk at tax payers expense,
How to drive while under the influence ,
How to crash while under the influence,
Dealing with the courts, judges and the police,
How to fund millions of pounds worth of dodgy plastic surgery,
How to motivate yourself for more plastic surgery,
Dealing with latest wonky comedy tits,
Taste, house and car decoration.
This series is available as a 200 piece dvd box set £9.500+vat payable in 2 easy instalments, satisfaction is guaranteed or you can go fuck yourself in the knowledge you are funding her next boob,lip,snatch job.
Order today from www.rottencrotch.ru.org

Daily Mail News Link

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

Oh dear me, here’s yet another privately educated, multi millionaire lefty cunt demonstrating his moral superiority. This time it’s Itchy Ballsack’s suggestion that kids should continue Maths lessons until the age of 18 which has aroused the ire of Simon Pegg.
Now for what it’s worth, I have no liking for Itchy or his Party, and I think his idea for maths is plain daft. But I don’t show the whole world what a tit I am by putting out a pitiful rant like this. ‘Fuck Sunak’, ‘Fuck the Tories’. Wow, what insight, what political nous, what a brilliant critique!

You Tube Link

He tells us he didn’t need maths to get where he is today. Spoken sitting in his car – designed and built using mathematics. Posted on the internet, created and operated using mathematics. And I imagine his accountants and tax advisers use a bit of mathematics to shelter his estimated £20 million from the tax man. How does this dickhead think the world works, by everyone sitting under a tree reading poetry?

What a complete and utter bellend.

Nominated by: Geordie Twatt

Starmer the Reluctant Tobacco Farmer

Apparently Starmzy is considering making the sale of tobacco illegal when he parks his useless arse in Downing Street. What a brilliant fucking idea! ………hand over the tobacco industry to the Albanians, criminalise millions of ordinary people and lose all that lovely tax money that you could be spending on dirty immos.
Do these cunts learn nothing from history?

Express News Link

Nominated by: Freddie the Frog

(Prohibition in the USA back in the 1920s certainly worked didn’t it. Not! – Day Admin)

Sequels are cunts, aren’t they.

Is there a more cynical money-grabbing move than the sequel?  Re-hash the whole rubbish again with the same characters, some knowing references to the first crap, and a repetition of any catchphrases.

Apparently, there will be another ‘Passion Of The Christ’ so that Mel fucking Gibson can make another $100 million when all the dopey devil-dodgers queue down the road to watch more shitty torture porn. Flogging their bishops while Jeebus is flogged.

Passion 2: Christ is back and he’s pissed off. This time, he’s not cruci-fucking around. This time, it’s personal. If it’s a comedy, how about Passion 2: Christ Goes To Monte Carlo? Perhaps it’ll be like the Police Academy and we can expect lots more. Passion 6: City Under Siege.

Will anti-English and plastic paddy cunt  Gibson be making sequels for his other crap?

The Patriot 2: This time with facts!
Apocalypto 2: The taco years.
Braceheart 2: William Wallace is resurrected, but is attacked by the evil English who shoot him with lasers from their 13th century helicopters.

Psh

Daily Mail News Link

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

(That film might upset the Woke – Day Admin)

My fellow Cunters.
For Your Cuntsideration:

The MLK “Embrace” statue, Boston.

“……..I stand here today, to tell you about my dream. It is an American Dream, a dreamy-dream. I dream, that one day, my four children will not be judged by the colour of their skin-but by the content of their Twitter profile, er no, their character.

Furthermore, I have a dream, that in a park in Boston, many years from now, little black children and little white children, will stand hand in hand and gaze up at a $10m, 20 ft high statue, in memorial to today, debating whether it resembles a contortionist with his head up his ass, or a giant penis being wanked.

I dream that as they gaze in wonderment, they will chant:

“What the fuck? What the fuck? Goddamn-almighty, what the fuck?”

Amen brothers and sisters.”

News Link

???????

Nominated by: Cuntfinder General