No, I’m not talking about Fleet Streets finest printed shite, but ‘The Papers’ review, that takes place nightly on the Beeb & Sky.

It doesn’t matter which one you watch – they are essentially the same ;
A brainwashed robotic newsreader (clearly following an autocue) and two good for nothing braindead, woke, remainer, BLM appeasers – who can’t wait to give chapter & verse on how badly the cabinet are balsing things up, and how insane this riddiculous brexit business is.

Usual suspect guests include :-
Kevin Maguire (Daily Mirror left wing cunt)
Andrew Pierce (shifty Daily Mail ponce)
Yasmin Alibhaba Brown (Venemous white hating hag)
Polly (Fat arse) Mackenzie “I was Nick Cleggs advisor”- nothing to proud of, Cunt
Rachel (know it all) Shabi (I’m ashamed to live here – FUCK OFF THEN CUNT)
Isabel (Pony Club) Oakeshott (You are so so cleatly beneath me, peasant)
Ella (Tits but no brains) Whelan
Ash Sarkar (Racist, clearly Racist, the man on the tube racially abused me)
Christina Patterson (I’m here simply to riddicule the PM & look smug)
Matthew Syed (We need the power of Divsity in our society, bla, bla)

Don’t worry if you miss anyone’s ‘view’ on Sky – you’ll undoubtedly find them on BBC news the following night.

I’m no longer allowed beer & nuts after 9pm, incase I pebble-dash the TV when venting my fury at these Cunts….

Nominated by: Lord of the Rings

If you thought karaoke was bad then check this out and discover even worse horrors in cyberspace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3oNfYCh5Vg

And Takeo, thanks for the offer to come to Scotland and give us your version of “Granny´s Heilan Hame” but don´t call us. We´ll call you!

I suggest you head further south and try “Knees Up Mother Brown”, “My Old Man´s a Dustman” or some other traditional English folk songs. ISACers can´t wait. I guarantee they will give you a warm welcome.

Sayonara!

Nominated by: Mr Polly

(Sounds like cultural appropriation to me. – DA)

The Pope is a cunt, isn’t he!

“Psst! Have you heard? Mary is pregnant!”
“She is? Who’s the father?”
“Well….people are saying…it’s the Lord.”

Q: What’s worse than the Wuhan Flu and its disastrous, economic consequences?
A: Gossip.

No, this isn’t a low-level BBC-type joke but what the Pope told to the credulous pilgrims in St Peter’s Square recently imploring the dopey idiots not to engage in malicious mutterings.

“Gossip closes the heart of the community, closes the unity of the Church” he said wearing a small pancake hat. “The great talker is the devil, who always goes about saying bad things of others because he is the liar who tries to disunite the Church. Chatting is a worse pest than Covid!”

That Devil sounds like a scandalous peddler of the rumour mill.

The Pontiff also removed his face mask recently whilst meeting worshippers as he chatted to and touched members of the congregation. His Worthiness insisted that the Covid-19 pandemic would be defeated by “God’s love” as he addressed the packed courtyard in the Vatican. Don’t worry Your Eminence, if you contract the ChînkyDink virus you shan’t require a ventilator, we’ll pray for you; that always works.

Psst, have you heard? There is no God

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous 

In case you have never heard of this latest addition to the palace of parasites – the House of Lords to the great unwashed – she is actually pasty-faced Kim Jong Un impersonator Ruth Davidson, erstwhile leader of one of the world´s most endangered species, i.e. the Scottish Conservatives.

Ruthie, as she used to be know before being ennobled, was furious when the BBC referred to her by her new title and ordered it to keep calling her plain Ruth Davidson. In typical supine fashion, the Beeb duly groveled and followed the Baroness´s order.

The little lesbian Baroness, who likes to dress up in uniform driving a tank, doesn´t want voters to think she is a stuck-up social climber who can´t wait to don ermine and get £300 a day just for plumping her fat arse on the plush benches of their lordships´ house.

Being an unelected “representative” is nothing new for Ruthie anyway as she has never been elected to the Scottish Parliament but sneaked in through the list system.

Nominated by: Mr Polly 

Cover ups and the suspicious absence of any name of the cunt that shot Sgt Ratana.

I have this niggling feeling that the longer this goes on the darker the skin of the suspect gets.

But hey, horse face Jacinda Ahern has paid tribute to her fellow New Zealander, even though he was a naturalised Brit as I understand.

Tributes paid by old school friends and colleagues, fine, to be expected.

But what’s the fucking name of the suspect.

This is highly unusual.

Hang on, no name but it turns he was referred to the Anti Radicalisation ‘Prevent’ program.

Oh I see. This is interesting…. looks like they are trying to find out more about his background…….

Really. Now I wonder why that is…..

As i say I have this nagging doubt.

Calais – Dingy – 4 Star Hotel plus benefits.

Could it be……….

Let’s hope Ashley Fucking Banjo can weave this murder into his latest dance routine.

Nominated by: CuntyMcCuntface