is a cunt.
Morrisons need a cunting.
They have barely got the Back to School merchandise on the shelves ( poor kids hadn’t even broken up for the Summer ), but at least they anticipated it two weeks before the Summer break started
But I’ve been to my local Morrisons today with Younger for our weekly shop, and was gobsmacked to see Christmas selection ‘boxes’ by the self-service checkouts.
I was even more astonished, when I took the basket back, to see a fucking chocolate Advent calendar for sale.
They haven’t even got the Halloween shite on display yet, but Santa has already made an appearance!
I think I’m going to have to boycott Morrisons. Cadburys chocolate is shite anyway, but to have it right by the tills in July, well, it’s a “No, No, No” from me, mate.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
After these infernal heatwaves those selection boxes will be melted chocolate.
all misshapen and wrinkled like Edwina Curry.
I’ve already started peeling spuds for Christmas dinner, you need to be prepared,
merry Christmas you filthy animals!!
🍗🌲
17
My sprouts have been on since Whitsun!
14
I’ve boycotted Cadburys since they were bought by Kraft (now Mondelez) and moved their factory to Pooland.
16
Cadburys taste like fuckin shite now.
they’ve ruined what was once the finest chocolate in the world.
20
I’ve boycotted them since their factory in Herefordshire was prosecuted for having a leaking drainage pipe running over the chocolate vats. According to Cadburys the supposedly minute quantities of effluvia dripping into the vats represented an acceptable health risk. A sudden spike in salmonella cases among their customers rather suggested otherwise.
The dirty fuckers.
https://www.herefordtimes.com/news/1556063.the-leak-that-cost-chocolate-giant-millions/
16
I’m guessing the supermarkets are starting even earlier and banking on Bonfire Night being cancelled because of ‘tinderbox Britain’.
It was Pakistan Independence Day of Friday and the cunts were letting off fireworks in London. Burnham’s message about being vigilant was only for the native British then while every other cunt does as they please.
22
Send a firework or 2 in Andy Pandys direction.Cleft cunt.
13
It’s called winter festival, you bigot..
Most likely last year’s, though cadburys chocolate is so shit, it probably tastes better when out of date..
15
All the allure of candle wax…sans flavour.Soya is evil on many levels,even in our milk now.
3
Christmas is the best season, isn’t it? A trip to Gamages to buy presents for aunties and uncles. Saving for the Christmas Goose. Buying hot chestnuts and finding they are all rotten. Bols Advocaat with lemonade for the perfect snowball. Morecambe & Wise on the goggle box. Quality Street with their shiny jewel coloured wrappers. I can hardly wait. I wish it could be Christmas every day.
15
Thank you TTCUTS, for the timely reminder to buy Advocaat. Luckily we are off to Belgium in December. I must get my beer crates emptied as well.
6
May I also take this opportunity to wish all you cunters a very merry xmas.
🧑🏿🎄🎄❄️
13
well, the stuffing ready.🎄
8
Mine is, roast chicken for tea..😁
5
Don’t blame Morrisons, they’re just catering for consumer needs.
Take Tavia Watts (please) for example. She suffers from Christmas anxiety, constantly worrying that she won’t have everything bought by 24th December. Doctors acknowledge this is a serious mental condition affecting 110% of the Tavia population.
She signs petitions, organises Christmas community events and runs a free childrens’ clothes swap shop. She went veggie so at least her children will know she tried. And she goes for a lie down and a cry every evening when her husband reads bedtime stories to the kids.
So buying the Advent calendars from Morrisons in July was a load off her mind.
Well done Morrisons, Retailer of the Year for this alone.
12
Geordie, correct me if I`m wrong, but does you xmas involve a special festive cocktail: a bottle of Broon Ale garnished with a Brussel sprout?
🍻🥬
6
I wonder if it’s last years left over stock they are trying to shift before this years stock arrives.
Christmas comes earlier every year, another couple of months and the Christmas decorations will start going up
8
It would be interesting to see how the peaceful community would react if the supermarkets filled the shelves with Ramadamadingdong or Eid products months before the event.
Cries of over commercialisation and disrespect towards Alan’s Snackbar, no doubt.
Saviour Andy would soon step in with a ban.
He could also go on social media debating Mohammed’s favourite Eid snacks.
Pakoras or samosas, Mo?
12
And all white girls
9
Before it gets started, its Father Christmas, not the other cunt, you yanky fucking twats.
12
Make the most of it while you can.
Can’t be long before it’s banned,to “ease community tensions”.
The evil cunts.
12
“Diversity is our strength”
8
Plus all Halloween items in the shops in August.Dozy twat management want shooting.
8
I’ve noticed that as well, Ed.
Yet, if you want a pair of swim shorts in January, as you prepare to set off for some winter sun, you can’t see any.
All rather strange.
9
I used to have advent calendars sent all year round, for me to put samples of my shit. Now I’m too old for that now.
All the chocolates, cakes and biscuits will be gone before long, eaten by greedy fat cunts. But that wouldn’t worry me due to being a fruit lover.
6
Ding dong merrily on high, more dinghy rats are coming.
Ding dong merrily on high, you pay your tax to keep them.
Ding dong merrily on high, no matter who you vote for fuck all changes for the better…!
Gloria Hosanna in excelsis .
Lord help us..🙏
14
No, I’ve changed my mind. Let’s have all annual events in one lump. Just before it begins I’ll book myself in at the local science lab to be sent into suspended animation for the duration.
8
If I could start my life again, I’d get a job shitting in all things made from chocolate and other such things that fat cunts prefer to eat, other than food.
6
tastes like cadburys beat you to it.
6
Perhaps Morrisons have got confused with the birth of Jesus and the coming of Saviour Andy.
It’s an easy mistake to make.
13
Both were born in abject shit holes and both made wild, unproven claims about all sorts of shit.
12
I await king Andy’s crucifixion.
11
Amen to that Mr Biscuit.
7
Good ol’ Noddy holder will be laughing all the way to the bank 🏦 with the it’s chriiiissssstttmmaaassss pounding the airwaves in Morrisons 🎸🎙️… hoping the Easter eggs aren’t far behind then I missed out on a lindt bunny last time 😩… happy festive season cunters, gotta be inclusive and drop Christmas from the vocabulary eh …oh and happy forthcoming Eid 🤐
8
I’ve banned Christmas, Wintermass or whatever it’s called these days. Happily tell kids that Santa was shot down by Ukrainian drones whilst delivering presents.
13
I’ve seen a black Santa on an advert in the past; it’ll not be long now before there’s a carpet-kissing Santa in an ad, the way those smelly rapists are taking over the country, eh PG?
Although a chınky Santa would be quite amusing.
‘Aah, herro rittol boy, what would you rike for Christmas? A rocomotive? Some Rego?’
15
A right-saber?
A razer gun?
Or maybe Santa sing you a rurraby?
9
he comes down the chimney and steals your toys.
if over 10 years old he gets you pregnant
9
Aah, toys…how I miss playing with boy toys with my kids.
Seeing the look of irritation on the wife’s face when she comes in the living room and sees you’ve made a 10ft cock and balls out of Brio railway and your little’un is driving his train around the helmet.
12
Black Santa, Cunt Engine!
Now I’ve heard it all. I suppose you’d have to leave him a crack pipe and KFC bucket instead of the traditional mince pie and a glass of sherry.
11
I’d leave the cunt a court order stating his wages are being garnished by the court for fathering 28 nıglets, LL.
12
you can tell if Black Father Christmas has been in the night.
there’s pubes on your pillow and your TV is missing
11
Ha ha , that’s made me laugh Thomas. As I was reading it in my mind I could picture Kim Jong Il in Team America. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 brilliant.
1
So Morrison’s have gone all festive have they ?
The cunts.
Might as well get my Christmas message in early then.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU6WXCvNGms
Get To Fuck
6
This Christmas I’m going to spend in traditional Christian religious contemplation on our Lord Jesus.
free from the trappings of consumerism and capitalism.
have my friends Goofy Timothy and Plain Dorothy round for hymns.
no telly
no chocolate
no ale
no gorging on meat.
probably take soup around the inner city for tramps, dosser and dinghy scum.
oh, hold on,
just remembered!
I’ve never been christened
or to church.
I’m no Christian.
pass me a turkey drumstick and stick Home Alone on.
10
Heathen!
In your Viking life Mis, you probably went on a coming of age boar hunt with the old man instead.
7
observation
Just seen footage of dodgy labour scum Louise Haigh walking up Downing Street.
she walks dead weird!
like one of those Ray Harry Harryhousen monsters.
like shes learnt to walk from a book.
can’t they do anything normal?
the fuckin sideshow cunts
13
bit of a stutter going on,
probably climate anxiety
9
She walks like that, because her pockets are full of stolen phones.
8
Remind me, which one is Louise Haigh again?
Is she the one who evaded stamp duty, or the one who claims to be a chess champion and BoE economist, or the one who claims to be a solicitor but isn’t, or the one who’s a convicted fraudster, or the anti-corruption minister with a conviction for corruption, or the one who took over £100,000 worth of freebies, or the one who can’t eat a bacon sandwich?
11
Multiple Choice Lying Cunts.
You takes your pick..
Get your trousers pulled down to pay for a “second home” in Mayfair.
5
Christmas is vile now, this is part of the commercialism that killed it. Supermarket chains are greedy cunts, self service tills where you do what they used to do for you, do you get a discount as you stand waiting for some cunt to stop chatting and sort out the fuckup with the bagging area?
The meaning of life? In 2026 it’s being a consumer who doesn’t complain about being fucked by everyone in the logistics chain.
11
Don’t think I can sleep tonight without a nightlight on.
that black father Christmas.
sooty claus.
climbing down the chimney like a tarantula.
yikes.
7
O/T but it’s my nom, so I’m allowed.
I’ve cooked a Sunday dinner today, for Younger and hubby. I’m feeling quite energetic, for once.
Anyway, as it was roast chicken, we had pigs in blankets as well.
It’s sort of a tradition. If it’s pork, chicken or turkey there has to be pigs in blankets.
I also have to cook extras, so Younger can take some home for her hound. He expects a Yorkshire pudding at least.
It’s known as the dog tax, and he gets the mump on good style if he doesn’t get it.
Makes me laugh, he does. He must be the only greyhound in the world who gets a pouty lip if there’s no dog tax.
7
BTW, I emailed Morrisons and had a go at them about the Christmas in July shit.
I got quite a pleasant reply from them, and the following week there were no selection boxes or advent calendars in sight.
9
I go when we have roast chicken
nothing is wasted.
we eat the choice cuts,
dog gets some,
then the carcass is put out for the foxes I feed.
Other night I stepped out through my beautiful artisan made country cream gate and a vixen was asleep waiting for me.
😃
5
Don’t start feeling too smug Jeezum. The big stores have had a lot of stick recent times about this putting the stuff out months in advance of various anniversaries. You can be sure they had other complaints as well as yours. A few years ago the local authority installed and lit all the Christmas lights during the week leading up to remembrance Sunday. They received a storm of derision and haven’t done so since.
6
I hope they got some right stick from their customers, arfur.
There’s a time and a place for everything, and unless it’s a novelty shop in Essex, July and Christmas isn’t it.
4
Christmas, that time of year when consumerism goes int overdrive. Societal pressure to persuade you to part with your hard earned to nobody’s real benefit other than large corporations.
Is it about a mythical Palestinian who was later nailed to a couple of planks, a fat old fuck in a red suit with flying reindeers, or is the plan to get you into debt.
4
Christmas is all we’ve got left to look forward too these days, Labour probably planning to ban i because it offends dirty peacefuls but St Andy will come to the rescue when he hears that ordinary people kind of like Christmas. He’s make some bluster and then claim he did all he can to block the banning of Christmas but he was unsuccessful. Cunt.
6