For spending half the morning telling the nation that TRICK or TREAT is: “great! And a lot of fun!”
CUNT.
Nuff said.
Nominated by: Ruff Tuff Creampuff
(More on this Halloween is Fun – DA)
‘I Am Greta’ (2)
We’ve had Blaxsploitation. We’ve had Sexploitation. Now welcome:-
Mongsploitation – ‘I Am Greta’.
Thrill as she mopes about and bunks off school.
Gasp as she addresses leaders who should fucking know better.
Wonder what the fucking point is in flying a sailing crew half way across the world so she could shit over the side in a multi million $ yacht.
Wonder what the fuck Swarzenegger is doing in this hokum.
Finally twig that she and her abusers, sorry, parents get a lot of moolah from this shite.
‘I Am Greta’, coming to a closed cinema near you.
Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble
Mathematicians
Fucking Mathematicians are cunts.
I studied this shit as a second subject at university along with PE. (pissing about running with bats and balls).
One of the most boring two hours of my entire life was spend proving root 2 to be an irrational number a little of this surmise rational follows :-
Because √2 is not an integer (2 is not a perfect square), √2 must therefore be irrational. This proof can be generalized to show that any square root of any natural number that is not the square of a natural number is irrational. WTF. 2 fucking hours of equations and conflicting statements.
The lecturer and at least half the class (males mostly) were creaming their pants eulogising this wondrous phenomenon. I was praying for the lunch bell to fucking ring, as were most of the girls/women.
Now lets get a grip here numbers are man made and as a result we can create multiples of rules with which to make these numbers create all kinds of equations, formula, quadrilaterals, and even rude shaped graphs that look like a pair of tits.
Now I do not disrespect the way mathematics as helped the modern world shape many things that we now take for granted, buildings/flight/computers etc., However, I just don’t respect any cunt that gets wet/moist by just proving that something created by man can be rational, irrational or anything else. Utter bullshit.
Maths is a tool for developing mankind and not something you jizz in your pants about.
There fore my equation is Mathematicians = Cunts.
Nominated by: Everyonesacunt
(A great nomination, not least for being a bit different from the norm. However, most cunts on here are still having to use Google to work out how many of the 10 beans Jack had left over after he gave 3 away to Abdul Bomber, 2 to Mizz Lezmuncher and gave 1 to Greta Thundercunt! – DA)
Dead Pool (179)
Well done to Shaun (yet again) who correctly predicted that England and Man United legend Nobby Stiles would be the next to cark it. He was 78.
On to Deadpool 179
The rules:
1) Pick 5 famous Cunts you think will conk out next.It is first come first serve.You can always be a cunt and steal other peoples nominations from previous pools (Like Black and White Cunt frequently does.
2) Anyone who nominates the World’s Oldest man or woman is a cunt who will be ignored.
3) It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.
4) If your pick has already been taken, tough tits, it’s first come first served (only because we can’t be arsed to check )
My picks (GTC)
Tom Smith (rugby)
George Alagiah
Angela Lansbury
Dick Van Dyke
Joe Biden
Lily Allen & Dame Jenni Murray
Take yourselves in hand gentlemen, for a cunting for ISACs favourite pop tart, Lily Allen. Ms Allen beseeches the world to become more open legged as she launches her very own sex toy:
Yes, a new member of the team for Ann Summers customers everywhere, the Liberty is a device for wimmins self-abuse. I am sure Anal-ease Dodds, that Moran sort from the Lib-Dems and Jess Phillips will be setting off to the sex shop hot foot (if somebody can set fire to their feet).
All this dry fanny celebrity sex is getting too much for an old man like me. The Allen bombshell the same week as Jenni Murray has proudly announced she is going to appear on TV stark bollock naked. These old bags become real old scrubbers when they fear the limelight is off them.
Nominated by: W. C. Boggs
and added to by…..W. C. Boggs
You didn’t think I was going to let you off that lightly did you?
A “It-Must-Be-Jelly-Cos-Jam-Don’t-Shake-Like-That” cunting please for hoity-toity Mistress of Wireless 4 Dame Jenni (“there is nothing like a Dame”) for the roly-poly ex presenter who is going to “bare all” in the cause of entertainment and self advertisement:
In my day you would never have caught Katie Boyle or Lady Isobell Barnett naked – no too damn fast for me, but where is the old bag’s self respect?. She is 70 for Christ’s sake. No woman over 35 should ever be seen topless in public. I can only assume that the old age pension isn’t enough for her now she has left her safe radio job, sneering at the male sex. The only men who want to see shrivelled up old tarts are masochists like Mr. Jess Phillips and Mr. Dodds, and God knows they deserve the George Cross for bravery.
Plus this late entry from Fuglyucker
I would like to nominate Lilly Fucking Allen again.
This brain dead spunk trumpet has decided to launch a range of sex toys, yes you hear me right im sure its going to be Lillies idea of 100 best things to stick in your snatch, in her case im sure its going to be vibrating road cones and 240 volt pumping fists and im sure im not far wrong, first is an item called the womanizer, can you picture the scene your all pumped up about to have a good trunking and the Lilly the musical mongs face pops into your mind and instant soft on.
Lilly ruins sex for the masses what a cunt…
…and another from W.C.Boggs (clearly besotted by Allen)
LADY WANKERS – LILY ALLEN:
Keep your hand on your halfpenny as we pay homage to the rat faced songster, who, with the help of the BBC (who else?) is hawking round her sex toys – JML for perverts.
In what amounts to connivence in her adertising campaign Ms. Allen has been on the BBC in her faux “serious” mood, has given a deeply sincere interview about female masturbation:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-54712504
I suppose with a face like hers, and her wedding breakfast ideas of biting into an outsize burger, she needs all the self help she can get. Still, the BBC website is becoming a source of ribald humour, much like Labourlist.
Will Lily give upm “singing” tom become the new Lady Moane? We she mount (forgive the term) a takeover bid for Ann Summers?
Who knows? – who cares?