“US fast-food chain Taco Bell is removing lettuce from its menu in some states after investigations found it could be linked to an outbreak of explosive diarrhoea caused by a parasite”
I’ve never liked lettuce and can’t see the point of it,furthermore I’ve always suspected that it causes the shits and luckily the boffins at Taco Bell Laboratories have proved me right,again.
“Do not eat food items with shredded iceberg lettuce from Mexico served at Taco Bell locations in Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio, and West Virginia,” the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) said..
Which just goes to show lettuce,particularly Yank lettuce,which appears to be from Mexico thus adding to the problem,is a cunt.
Although the evils of lettuce have only recently been proven by the eminent scientists at Taco Bell,we should all be grateful for their pioneering work in this dangerous field.
I’ve also heard rumours that some kebabs have lettuce in them but Taco Bell have so far been silent on whether this can also cause explosive diarrhea.
Any suggestion that lettuce has caused Lord Siddique Khan to look like he has just been dug up has been refuted the Green Party.
Be On Your Guard.
Nominated by : Unkle Terry
Lettuce is beyond boring,
its nobodies favourite food,
its the Cliff Richards of the kitchen.
Onion? yes please!
tomato? OK
but never Lettuce.
as for a taco I’ve never had one and never will.
I expect its spicy as fuck
and within minutes my tummy would be gurgling and id be pebbledashing the ceramic throne while sweating and moaning in displeasure.
Lettuce?
shove it up your arse.
9
Really Americans eat lettuce..
The beeb have some cheek, their whole output is explosive diarrhea.. with some pedophilia thrown in..
I imagine taco bell is infested with the sort of staff that think now wash your hands, is a suggestion .
11
Tried my first TB outlet at a cruddy service station (aren’t they all) on m6 south recently.Won’t be making a return visit.
1
I’d have thought that as lots of Americans get diarrhoea they’d have learnt how to.spell it by now.
5
👍
4
I’m of the same opinion about every single other cunt on the planet spelling Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia incorrectly ; ….dictionaries and all.
Between that, and my Big Trak breaking down 2 hours-in xmas morning 1979, … is it any wonder I’m like I am?
As for lettuce? My favourite knock knock joke …
***
Knock knock …
‘Fuck off’.
7
My favourite Cuntemall was the one that surfaced a few years ago after someone at CERN thought they had observed a particle move faster than the speed of light;
“Who’s there?”
“Knock, knock.”
5
Not bad. Coulda seen it out, isac edition.
***
‘Tacky on this website sometimes’.
Tachyon who?
Tachyon.
3
What’s up with the floccinaucinihilipilification?
1
Needs must, for the punchline is all, me brethren … 😄
3
Americans change the spelling of English words so they are more phonetic. It hurts their little brains when words don’t look right.
2
If the Yanks are so concerned about the potential risks of eating lettuce, why don’t they just change to a Scottish diet?
6
Mexican lettuce is probably a bit spicier.
they love spicy shite them Mexicans.
spicy shite, massive hats, donkeys,
but never badges.
badges?
we don need no stinkin badges!!
8
Scottish salad?
Also known as chips.
3
I’m Scottish so have a natural aversion to lettuce but might drunkenly admit to it having its place in a BLT, iceberg only, none of your leafy stuff.
3
Filthy Abdul’s pizzas have much the same effect according to local gossip, however he now has a handwash basin out the back which doubles as a urinal, staff still shit behind the bins out back. Alan’s Snackbar full on Eastern promise!!!!!
4
https://youtube.com/shorts/iP_LTDggATU?is=l3DWGbFRLGd0mT_R
badgers
3
I see your badges and raise you this…
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/SOZE3WnsAYs
3
Better than that ozempics slimming drugs for fat fucking idiots.
Double lettuce salad,the japs have it for breakfast.
I rest my case.
Good morning.
6
Doubt the ho’s down alabami,kuntucky,lowesheeana,et al are concerned about 🥬 looking at the mounds of whale blubber that they carry…hey Chantelle, yo want dat dozen creme duhnuts with a side of 🥬..waaaaat girl yo not herd about de sheits yo cun get, lordy my my..😩
5
The fat yanks can shove their “lettuce” where the sun doesn’t shine
6
Some can’t find that place under the folds!
2
We’ve no need to worry here.
Saviour Andy will ban sales and consumption of lettuce.
In fact, his politburo are currently working on a government approved menu for all of its citizen comrades.
Andy’s favourite pork scratchings may not make the list though, for fear of upsetting the peaceful community.
8
It certainly won’t come as any surprise when a “government alert” goes off on a person’s phone should they buy something the Duma disapproves of..
That will be all things pork in short order.
Thank you Lord Khan.
Oven.
8
He will start “dictating” to us common people to eat bugs 🐛
2
The hamshanks are the parasite. Wish they’d take up another language to destroy.
4
I once us d a works canteen and purchased a chicken salad box meal.
Once opened and as I was eating, a grub of unknown variety was spotted making a bid for freedom.
So I took it back and expressed my displeasure.
That shouldn’t be there said the staff member, get away says I. The salad wash should kill all inscects.
What the fuck are you “washing” the salad in..!
Never had another box salad again…🤮
6
Disappointed that the BBC didn’t define and describe explosive diarrhoea, it would have made the article worth reading.
Well these things happen, anyone who has been to some of the less hygienic countries will know what the shits are like.
I had a ‘problem’ after visiting Mexico in the 90’s, had to take a stool sample for analysis to make sure I hadn’t got something really bad, I don’t remember eating any lettuce though.
7
SOI: I think the Channel 4, if not the BBC, did describe it, some years ago:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOA0Xzkyub8
3
Oh dear, I do remember that episode 😂
3
Montezuma’s revenge, likewise on a trip to ” Going loco down in Acapulco”…💩
2
Props to Mitchell for being in this scene ..
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/yUGdjD5QgzM
1
I grow lettuce in the garden.
My favourite varieties are Little Germ and Salad Bowel.
8
So true of salad with any fast food order..
https://youtu.be/JgJUbmGDc6k?si=abZPqqjbeOitQZeT
3
Thick hand sliced loaf, real butter, iceberg lettuce, lashings of salt, what’s not to like.
4
the lettuce.
1
As the Savoy Grill doesn’t serve up American lettuce, I can’t comment, but I can only assume that this wallpaper painted in green/yellow watercolours is probably the only greenery the lardarses who frequent McDonalds ever sees.
4
Salad days are all I think about.
Good news about the infection. It’s probably the only way the obese bastards are going to lose weight. All the money they must’ve spent and a tiny parasite sorts out their biggest problem, other than shooting each other of course.
3
Fucking lettuce is a nightmare. There is always a bit rotting n the fridge Fuck knows where it comes from. It is there even if we have not bought any. Maybe I once crossed a witch in the woods somewhere in East Anglia, perhaps near King;s Lynn, and the old crone put an eternal curse on the family fridge. Once when I was in the garden, I was attacked by an army of giant Cos lettuces (of course everyone now calls them Romaine lettuces for some reason – but this incident took place a while ago). They loomed over me and made strange crunching noises. I was about to lose all hope when I woke up to find I had dozed off in the warm sunshine. Phew!!!
My advice is to avoid lettuce except in tightly controlled conditions.
Good morning, everyone.
3
They might have more aircraft carriers than us, but America seems more similar to us than they’d like to admit.
Reliant on food imports from dubious foreign sources, which will eventually be served by immigrants to immigrants.
Just like us.
3
I’m feeling a bit peckish. Maybe the next course if any, might be more filling than this.
2
Just onto my second bacon butty before they get banned. Lettuce is for pink haired nose bolted people.
4
‘American Fast Food’ would have done as a Nom.
Anyone further afield than South Wales noticing that Tesco are selling off space in their car parks for McD’s to be built?
Seeing a ‘drive thru’ queue makes me sick. Utter sheeple who can’t even be bothered to walk into an establishment to order and wait for their shit so-called ‘food’ for themselves and the mewling future underclass in the back seats.
And don’t get me started on the fucking radio adverts. The only channel I’ll tolerate is Talk, and EVERY FUCKING AD BREAK I’m aurally assaulted by who I strongly suspect is Craig Charles going “The Big Arch just got bacon” in an absolutely patronising ‘cheeky chappie’ accent so you know their marketing campaigns are predicated on appealing to the feeble minded.
CUNT OFF.
7
Well said, WokeUp.
Ban drivethru’s (the cunts can’t even spell that without being lazy) and takeaway deliveries.
5
When the town I grew up in got it’s first McD’s – with a drive-thru – in 1999, I was the first cunt to reverse around the thing, the following A.M… and play it all nonchalant when addressing the person at the serving hatch(via my passenger window – electric, luckily – or I’d ‘a looked like a twat!).
Then reversed out of their line of sight on my way to the rest of my Saturday..
It’s the little things in life .
7
2 afterthoughts on that,.. #1 the fun of it went up an extra notch when, as I waited for the car in front of (yet behind me) to conclude their transaction, I ended up looking directly at the driver and passenger of the car that appeared around the bend behind me(yet in front of me) for the next 2 minutes.
Thought #2 .. nowadays it would require half a dozen phones recording it, maybe 3 inside the car, 3 friends nearby .. in order for any cunt to do the same.
Nobody doing shit just for the sake of doing it anymore.
4
Filthy Abdul’s pizzas have the same effect according to local gossip, has now installed a handwash basin out back which doubles as the staff urinal, staff still shit out the back behind the bins if they can tolerate the stench emanating from said bins.
An amazing establishment full of Eastern promise and dirty old men. They do a discount at school dinner time but only for the girls. Might get struck by lightning in near future one can but hope.
4
Good enough for them, seems it was a lot more than lettuce though, some massive companies produce all causing some yankee runny bum soup.
A few days of uncontrollable explosive shits might even help a few of them lose a bit of weight.
4
Apparently lettuce stimulates the appetite.
So claims an upmarket steak house with premises in Sheffield.
Before your carnivores delight ( the steaks are superb) , you are served a starter of half a cos lettuce with a dressing ( ranch, blue cheese, etc ) of your choice.
Can’t say I particularly noticed an increased desire to ram a 12oz fillet down my gullet. I still ended taking half of it home for a breakfast sandwich the following day.
2
it turns you into a tortoise
1