The 21st Century Post Modern Spiv…perpetual bullshitter, LinkedIn fuckwit and lying shite…

Spiv:

“A man, typically a flashy dresser, who makes a living by disreputable dealings.”

Once upon a time, there was a period in British history where spivs were harmless wide boys and if you wanted petrol, nylons and other black market goods which were rationed or not available (and had the sovs to pay) these gentlemen would see you right.

Del Boy was a kind of spiv I suppose, Arthur Daley too. More classic studies being Cubitt from “Brighton Rock” (Nigel Stock) and Private Walker (Stanley Beck) from “Dad’s Army” fame. All slightly or totally comical figures, trying to get on, turn a dishonest buck and keep one step ahead of the law. Let’s not forget Flash Harry from the marvellous St.Trinians films either.

Everybody knew what they were, what they did and Caveat Emptor certainly applied. These types certainly still exist and if you not really worried where it came from then fill your boots.

But now I present for you, the 21st century post-modern spiv…

These total wafflecunts exist mainly on the internet and LinkedIn… They class themselves with titles such as ‘Brand Expert’, ‘Influencer’, ‘Visionary’, ‘Entrepreneur’, ‘Trendsetter’ blah blah waffle waffle cunt cunt cunt…….

With their £100 Burtons/Next shiny tight suit they bought off the dummy in the shop, iPhone/smartphone/cuntphone, bumfluff stubble and over-inflated ego these perpetual wank-chimps are always bullshitting, ‘closing on a deal’, starting a new start up (for the 4896 time) and proclaiming on social media utter shit to decent hard working folk.

What they don’t tell you is that everything they touch turns to shit, they have a lifestyle that they can’t afford, they haven’t the balls to actually get a real job and they are in fact just a fucking loser.

These utter trumpet-cunts I have noticed are men between 20 – 45 and across all races and ethnicities. Take one of these cunts and look into their background and you find a trail of started, failed, closed businesses, lies, bullshit and utter cuntery.

I’d much rather be a shit house cleaner than one of these cunts…

Nominated by: Dandy Desmond 

…and on the subject of trust, here’s one from Uncle Monk

Is it me or does it merely appear that you really can’t trust anyone nowadays.

Now I’m a fairly trusting person and I try to see the best in people but it just seems everyone is trying to rip you off or con you.

There isn’t a day goes by when I don’t get a phone call/email/text trying to part me from my hard earned money.

It has got to a point where I don’t trust anyone anymore. Whenever anyone tries to get me to pry open my wallet I’m always trying to second guess them, trying to work out their angle, how they are duping me.

It really makes me sad that we now live in a world like this.

Box ticking lefty woke TV adverts.

Fuck me. Every bastard advert on TV is riddled with some right-on LGBTQ message or even worse BLM propaganda.
Diversity to the fuckin extreme.

A group of millenials order a pizza… and the cast includes.

Non binary boy/girl
Heavily pierced overweight “thing”
White hipster with eyelinered boyfriend.
Single parent lesbian.
Wheelchair bestie!

and even a MIDGET!

Ok…. be honest.
How many of you have midget mates?

* Disclaimer. I have nothing against migetism*

Nominated by: Kendo Nagasaki 

and seconded by: Hard Brexit Cunt

I’ll second Kendo Nagasaki’s cunting of woke TV adverts.

The one that really gets on my tits is the GoDaddy advert which ticks the following woke boxes:
– presented by a dark key
– the business is VEGAN (yuck!) pies
– endorsed by an Indian
– and the pièce de resistance – it has another endorsement by a (male-to-female) tranny called Miranda

You can’t beat the adverts from the 1970s – this one in the middle of the Kenny Everett Show (12′ 18″) features an Indian but take note of his name – definitely not woke!

https://youtu.be/lXtXkf4ObP4?t=738

And here is a link to that fucking annoying GoDaddy advert for vegan pies with the tranny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISMXYT961CU

A cunting for the hard to reach community, or should it be hard to stop community of P Stanleys who seem to think white girls are trash and deserve to be groomed and raped.

Another 29 are due to appear before magistrates at the beginning of July and if there was any doubt that this is a problem associated with Asian, mainly Pakistani men then just read the 29 names.

Where are the diversity is our strength brigade who refuse to admit that the Stanleys are a fucking problem.

The link is to the BBC, even they cannot ignore the truth. The numbers must be in the hundreds by now.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-57093267

Nominated by: Sick of it

A toffee-nosed, patronising, ‘Head Girl’, ‘you’re so immature’ cunting for the famous hypocrite and bore off the telly, Victoria Coren-Mitchell.

After having seen her act offended by the hijinks of Godfrey Bloom when she hosted Have I Got News For Chimps, I heard her being interviewed by comedian chum Richard Herring and she confirmed my impressions of her being a snooty, boring, feminist hypocrite.

Another one at the BBC doing well off the family name (daddy was Alan Coren) she goes straight into the dustbin marked ‘uppity, public school girl, feminist and broadcaster’, along with the Aristos Pheobe Waller-Minge and Miranda ‘Norris-Thing’ Hart.

As Camille Paglia might say, far from being an empowered modern woman, she’s one of the spoiled liberal sheltered middle-class women who act like fainting ladies of the 18th century at any transgressive opinions. her type who can’t stand men and male behaviour and write stupid columns about banning sports to be read by no one.

Always sold as a bit of ‘thinking man’s crumpet’ she has never said anything requiring much thought. Most her schtick is just ‘ugh, men!’ and crap anecdotes on QI and Radio 4.

I know the sort of crowd the BBC producers want to pull in; Douglas Adams/Terry Pratchett fans. Twee little blokes who quote Monty Python and say ‘M’lady’ and ‘Actually..’ before they correct you on some trivial matter and some of them fll for it. Men who sneer at sports because they know they’re neither strong or fast enough to play.
It’s her, Sue Perkins and Alice Roberts wanked over by autists who think being a vocal atheist is still fashionable.

You know David Mitchell is constantly henpecked by that bossy mare, the poor little fucker. I don’t mind a bit of a bossy streak and haughtiness but when done so primly and tiresomely by the likes of strident, overly earnest humourless femstapo bints like her it’s very boring.

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

Rag and Bone Man (AKA Harold Steptoe)

The towering talent that is Little Mix = Best Band.

Need I say more?

At least we are rid of the ginger gargoyle and his many imitators but really modern music just gets worse.

And no I didn’t watch the event I just picked up the results on R4.

Beam me back to the 70s Scotty.

https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/11/entertainment/brit-awards-2021/index.html

(Linked provided by the musically aware Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss

Seconded with their take on Modern Music by Technocunt:

Modern Music

I make no bones about it, modern music is shite. But then again modern music through the ages has always been shite (think of the 80s and Stock, Aitkin and Waterwank!)

But I have to say, those days of bad music compare favourably to today’s bollocks. And the charts mean absolutely fuck all these days; there’s no longer the glamour or prestige of being No 1, and going Gold or Platinum – its just one big pisstake!

I know we sometimes slag off old cunt rock bands like the Stones, the Who, even Fat Reg! They’ve been around for decades, and they’re probably rich enough to no longer bother with new albums and tours. And yet they still do on both counts.

Perhaps because these cunts are into their 60s and 70s they just don’t want to give it up and end up in an old folks home smelling of piss and playing bingo. Instead, they entertain their vast audiences across the world with some pure rock & roll with guitars, drums, keyboards and natural vocals.

Today for example I watched a You Tube video of The Who and possibly one of their greatest, albeit underrated songs “Eminence Front”. This was a live concert filmed in 2017, and yes Pete and Roger looked like old cunts, but fucking hell they still had the magic that would piss all over today’s so-called musicians!

Call me an old cunt, but I’d rather go see The Who again, than some wank-biscuit like Ed Shithead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ6dA2Afrsw&ab_channel=rocknroll2323