Women’s Athletics

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Apparently, new guidelines are being put in place for television coverage of wimminz athletes.

Broadcasters are being advised on how to show more sympathetic angles of female competitors so as not to sexualise their movements. Because we all remember knocking one out over Fatima Whitbread, eh fellas? All joking aside, it’s apparently very serious and can lead to…Yep, you’ve got it.

“serious long-term effects on athlete’s mental health.”

Oh dear.

Well let me put your minds at rest my lovelies. I’ve yet to come across a single doable female track and field athlete, so I wouldn’t worry your ‘pretty’ little heads about it. If I want images of some young girl in her gym kit, I’ll ask one of my local park key taxi drivers.

BBC News?

Nominated by : Field Marshal Cuntgomery

123 thoughts on “Women’s Athletics”

  1. I have to admit that as a young man I started to take a keen interest in Wimmins athletics and also ladies Wimbledons.

    Very entertaining,leading to lifelong myopia regrettably.

    It’s a hobby that I’ve proudly continued into middle age.

    No doubt I’ll get 5 years in Belmarsh for my innocent admission.

    Oh well.

    Reply ↓

    • I shouldn’t worry about Belmarsh, UT.
      Apparently, like the rest of the country, it’s gone soft.
      That Welsh choirboy give the waders a few kickings and even procured a bladed weapon.
      High security?
      My arse.
      The pansies were so scared, they had to ship him off to Broadmoor.

      Reply ↓

    • A young Chris Evert always got me going, Tez.

      But, dykes like Bille Jean Olive off On The Buses and Martina Neveradacockina were a right turn off.

      Reply ↓

  5. I can’t wait for BBC 2 to start showing the Jess Phillips Athletics Masterclass series, recently produced on their behalf by Boggs “Artistic & Beautiful “TV division. In the first programme, Jess, stripped to the waist and wearing the tightest gym shorts, demonstrates her squat thrusts and guides Angela Eagle, Bev Clarke, Yvette Cooper and Kim Ledbitter through their paces with a cat o nine tails for “encouragement”, then it’s jolly japes in the showers where the girls discuss their progress. Makeup supervisors are Pollyfilla Limited.

    Tickets are still available for the last recording in the series, which will include a nude netball match. It takes place, of course, at The Lesbian Labour Ladies Wrestling Club, in the Irma Bulldyke Gym. Send a self addressed envelope to Artistic and Beautiful, The Vicarage, little Whipping, Beds.

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  6. Some breaking news, a Mega Dinghy with 157 cunts onboard rescued when the engine caught fire, the good news they were all returned to France.
    The frog navy were assisted by UK border farce and lifeboats, so it does seem that UK boats can land cunts back in France (when it suits them)

    Reply ↓

    • What a shame it didn’t explode killing a third of them, the sea enfolding the rest into its briney embrace before a single rapey soul could be saved.

      Reply ↓

    • Our PM without a mandate was in Dover yesterday, telling us little people that huge progress has been made in the last few weeks, but that a ‘system that offers safe routes for people’ needs to be built,
      No it doesn’t. We’ve already got one.
      It’s called a visa application, you fucking ignorant, traitorous cunt.

      Reply ↓

      • I despise that smug arsehole more than Starmer, which is saying something. He can’t stop gaslighting, 2000 have come in Andy in two weeks on your watch. Surprised we didn’t see a fucking dinghy come ashore on the beach behind him when he was stood on Dover Cliffs the other day. That would have been fucking priceless.

      • If some rubber boat buggers had turned up during Andy’s visit, he could rely on ITV/BBC/Sky editing it out.

      • He’s only been in the job three weeks and he’s already seen most of his bullshit pronouncements smash headlong into the brick wall of reality.
        The latest being the prisoner early release scheme, which he was apparently vehemently against, until he wasn’t.
        I’m afraid he’ll be worse than Starmer, because he’s an even bigger chancer.

      • Burnham is a clueless soundbite sack of shit,simply repeating the same tired yet obligatory clichés.

        Distantly remote condescending vermin.

        Gas.

  7. Just watching the lunchtime news.

    Same shite.

    Same words spoken.

    Different day.

    FUCK ALL DONE…!

    VIVE LA REVOLUTION…🇬🇧✝️🔥☠️

    Reply ↓

      • So long as we can slacken all the nuts and bolts on the rollercoasters first, Doc.

      • My kid and his mate are having a high old time and, as I’m too pussy to go on the terrifying-looking rollercoasters, I can have my sunglasses on and have a sneaky perv at the odd scantily-clad honky birds arses…👀

      • If you had a burqa Cunt Engine, you could hover with impunity or be mistaken for something innocuous like a sun umbrella. Although you might attract some smelly peaceful who wanted to make you his third wife!

      • My mam & dad had a caravan on a farm about a mile from Alton Towers.

        I’d of been a teenager.
        never once went Alton Towers.
        my holiday consisted of my dad volunteering me for unpaid work on the farm,
        chopping wood mostly.

        only good bit was looking for adders nests in the woods.

  9. Andy Burnham ,
    the teenage Tatlock,
    he’s got a problem.

    He wants to be popular.

    Just watch him,
    he craves popularity.

    its a disability in a Prime minister.
    stops him making clear decisions.

    I’ve met lots of lads like him,
    popularity whores

    i Just wanna be everyone’s mate.

    i Just wanna be loved.

    I’m really NICE.

    cunts.
    I never like them.
    popularity is overrated.

    Reply ↓

      • David Cameron thought the same with his whole “call me Dave” but the moon faced pig fucking traitor was soon snapped out of that with photos of the Bullingdon Club at Oxford alongside that other cunt Boris Johnson reeking of entitlement and privilege.

        Andy Burnham thinks he is living in his own Hovis advert.

      • That’s a tad disingenuous, LL…if you’ll recall, it was only the severed pig’s head that he popped his tinkle into.
        Funnily enough, his posh tassel was so long that it emerged out of the tattered remains of the pig’s oesophagus and George Osborne was so turned on that he was obliged to suck Dave’s gore-slimed helmet, whilst 3 feet away, Boris bummed the pig’s corpse, surrounded by Tories cheering them all on.

      • Fuck me, Thomas.
        That’s a vivid imagination you’ve got there.
        Worryingly vivid.

      • Alas, I have to tone my imagination down to almost idling speed on this lovely forum, FMC…it gets sooo much worse (better!)…however, JP might be eating his dinner and the thought of him sicking it straight back up with it landing back on the plate is only moderately amusing…😉

  10. I see it’s 173 illegals now.
    It’s good to see that french plod struggle with numeracy like our own fatso’s.
    I wonder what other traits they share with our useless, politically indoctrinated cunts?

    ‘I’ve been stabbed, monsieur gendarme!’
    ‘Je ne pense pas que tu en aies un, mon pote’

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  11. I see trans sue perkins has fucked off on holiday..
    Well earned i say.

    All those tik toks about scampi fries and barm cakes have worn the fella out.

    He will come back refreshed to give his opinion on what is a jaffa cake, biscuit or cake..
    I can’t wait..

    Reply ↓

  12. O/T but I`d just like to congratulate all the Scottish students passing their exams. Especially all the indigenous black & brown ones, no gingers, as reported by — yep, you guessed it — the [unbiased] BBC news. “Because we`re funded by you”.
    📜

    Reply ↓

      • I think you’re forgetting the language barrier those poor kids have to overcome. Does anyone understand Glaswegian?
        🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🤔

      • COTI.

        We’re both multilingual.

        We speak our own native language.
        We speak Glaga’
        Glaswegians don’t understand my local dialect, Yorkshire.

        I shouldn’t imagine they understand yours, probably because, in my case, I speak a version of the Kings/Queens English from Elizabethan times.

        When my Scottish cousins used to visit, I had to revert to a put-on Hooray Henry, otherwise he didn’t know what to order for me in the pub.

        ” I’ll partake of a pint of the Landlords guest ale, old chap ”

        Visitor would mooch up to the bar, hold 3 fingers up and point at the pump.
        Landlord obviously also spoke Glaga’.

        But if I said ” cuppa? “, he’d look at me as if I’d suggested a beheading.

        I thought ” cuppa?” was universal.

    • Looking on the BBC website, I nearly fainted.
      They actually pictured two white kids, but further inspection showed them to be a Ukrainian refugee and some kid called Aleksander, who also sounds like a dooshka.
      I can’t wait for the English exam results wankfest, particularly on BBC London.
      It’ll be like scenes from Ghandi and Live and Let Die.

      Reply ↓

  13. O/T. A 14-year-old (foreign) boy has drowned after going into the water at a dock in East London; Mare(!) of Tower Hamlets, Lutfur Rahman, has named the teenager as Banta Sillah.

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  14. It’s disgraceful.

    14 and can’t swim.

    i feel sorry for the poor cunt who’s got to fish his waterlogged, bulging eyed corpse out the water.

    Hey ,
    that bullshitting professor from Cambridge,
    he didn’t learn to talk till he was 11yr old.

    Talk about a slow learner!
    11 and just learning to talk.
    fuck sake.

    i was 1.
    I’m not the sharpest pencil in the box but I was quick to speak.
    Lot to say see?

    And he didn’t learn to read an write till 18.

    some fuckin professor he is.
    thick as fuck.

    Reply ↓

    • Learning to ‘talk’ (or a close approximation of speech) by the age of 11 is something of a triumph for any individual nıg-nọg.
      A black ‘professor’ is able, all on it’s own, to point, click and whistle at its favourite item on the KFC menu.
      Bravo!

      Reply ↓

    • Just this very morning I found myself having to swim in the sea, quite drunk and well into an acid trip, was so exhausted when I got home I passed out immediately and woke up sore and sober.

      Had I been born with a name like Winston I would have sank on the spot.

      Reply ↓

  15. Got me thinking,
    what was the cunt doing for the first ten years of his life?

    what age was he potty trained?

    IS he potty trained?!
    maybe he’s still getting round to it?

    Reply ↓

    • History Debunked on YT did a video on him.

      Describing him as a mute 10 year old on the professional snooker tour had me almost wetting myself.

      Reply ↓

      • Oi, just leave Professor Dreadlocks alone.

        I’ll have you know he wrote the Complete Works of Shakespeare, swam the Pacific backwards in 3 days and split the atom at the age of 5 using only a hammer and chisel.

        The man is an inspiration.

      • At this rate, he’ll father a child AND not do a disappearing act on the mother!

      • Hes the black Vernon Fox.

        claims he swallowed a 2pound coin and shit it out in 20pence pieces.

        Total fantasist.
        Not even a good bullshitter.

    • The first 10 years of his life?
      What was he doing?

      I’ll tell you, learning that liars get away with all kinds of shit.

      There’s that famous urban story about a child that didn’t speak for years. Parents had him to all kinds of specialists and therapists. Spent a fortune.

      Then, one day, they’d run out of his preferred breakfast cereal, so gave him a bowl of their choice.

      The child took a spoonful and announced he didn’t like it, where’s my usual?
      Mother nearly faints.
      ” You spoke!”
      Child says ” of course I did, I’ve been able to speak for years.”
      Mother says ” but why now”
      Child ” so far, you’ve given me what I wanted, so why would I bother?”

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  16. Breaking news apparently, several commonwealth games participants have refused to go back home and are now claiming asylum. Who’d have thought it?

    Reply ↓

      • They’re Ugandans. They fancy Glasgow because their Grandad was King of Scotland.

        And when they’ve had a look around they’ll find it’s just as big a craphole as Kampala.

        Home from home.

      • Do you mind, GT? I have lived in both Kampala and Glasgow, and Kampala was less of a shithole; well it used to be when Whitey was in charge.

      • Fair enough Hugh.

        Okay, Glasgow is as big a craphole as Dundee. Will that do?

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