Ralph Ineson (2)

Ralph Ineson is a cunt.

Ralph Ineson, aka Dacia Duster voice over man is a cunt who sounds like he smokes 60 B&H a day and eats gravel for every meal. (Aka “Finchy” from The Office – DA)

This, coupled with his grating accent makes me want to fold my flat screen neatly in half and shove it up his arse.

Dacia Dusters are shit cars for motability scumbags, and thanks to the efforts of this cock socket I’d rather get the bus anyway.

From the sound of him, he can’t be more than 18 months away from laryngeal cancer anyway. Can I have him in the Dead Pool?

Get to fuck.

Nominated by: Burns Ward Arsonist 

46 thoughts on “Ralph Ineson (2)

  1. Fuck me, this cunt is narrating a programme even as I type! Salvage Hunters (channel 12) featuring that slippery little tyke Drew Pritchard…

  2. To me he’s just an actor getting paid for what he does. Been in some good stuff. Not heard about him moaning or posting on twitter 24/7.

    He knows what he is, a bit part actor who does voiceovers to pay the bills.

  3. I think he might have been in Dead Man’s Shoes,which is a fine film.

    I prefer his adverts to that Gay Cunt with false teeth and beard all day every day.
    More cider now.

    • Not in Dead Man’s Shoes.

      Been in a Harry Potter and a Star Wars film though, if that’s any consolation to ya.

      More Irish Cream with a Bushmills chaser now.

      • Ruff, Terrys getting him confused with Neil Bell in Dead man’s shoes.
        That films great, and Gary Stretch surprisingly good in it.

      • Filmed at Riber Castle my favourite place for a day out as a kid Ruff.
        Was a zoo but fell into disrepair.

      • Oh aye Riber Castle.
        Went very late 70s and the zoo was shite I think.
        Been turned into flats apparently.

      • Riber Castle is 10 mins away from me MNC, haunting looking place on a hill, with bats flying around it.
        Dead Mans Shoes is one of my favourite films too, I like Paddy Consadine as an actor too. My favourite bit is when he’s in the pub” What you fuckin looking at? “ You ya cunt”.

  4. Have no feelings about the cunt. Dont know the programmes.
    I like Dacia Dusters. Make my poundshop SUV look posh.

      • Evening Les.
        The current Bond is a northerner. He just moved south to improve himself.
        There was a manc Dr.Who so why not a Bond.
        “Ey, Q, get me a fookin’ car. Some bastid’s nicked me tyres, int they.”

      • I don’t know who plays Bond to be honest Cap.
        Just know a northern accent improves anything.
        Always thought Bond was a bit ducky?
        Dressed like a waiter
        Drinks puffs drinks
        Drives sportscars
        …. Gaylord.
        More a Colombo fan.

  5. For once, I admit to having extremely limited knowledge. Like others, that deters me not a jot from commenting (although unlike many, I know it should do)

    I believe Dacia is or was an East European motor vehicle manufacturer analogous to Skòðå, Trabant Zil Gaz Wartburg ich habe echt keine Ahnung.. and/or…Diana Do(o)rs
    . Duster? Microfibre??

    Up to you. Ralph looks like a bloke I smacked in the face a week ago due to his complaint about me noy wearing a face mask. As it went, I slapped him back and he is due in Minshull St in July for a §18 offence.

    Nicely, this will cost him £140 plus £95.in magistrates fines and enjoyably a first criminal record on the PNC/LARGE2… Plus his council job (I shall certainly pursue this)

    • Why you slapping binmen CS?
      Just let it go, if both slapped each other, no point losing him his job, he might have kids to support?
      Does he drive a Dacia Dustcart?

    • I recommend anyone who gets grief for “failing” to wear a face mask from a random member of the public to do the same¹.

      ¹ viz escalate the situation until the ‘troublemaker’ crosses the line and commits an assault/battery (usually an OAPA1861) offence. Ensure the whole episode is caught on camera – contrary to opinion the video file IS good evidence in Court).

      Go for the jugular, or if you have no legal training get a compliant High Street solicitor to do it for you. When you hear the cunt has been sacked, you’ll experience the greatest joy since you were sucked off by a Cambodian prostitute in 1996 (speaking personally there)

      • Cambodian prostitute…I bet you can still remember his name!

        No matter how hard you try, and try far too hard with your tall tales you do, you just ooze dullness and with every return emit desperation and loneliness.


      • Yes, it really is truly embarrassing, isn’t it ROFL? Why do you yourself waste so much of your time making these tedious observations I wonder? I’m not sure you can emit loneliness and desperation, but you can ooze it. You got your ooze and emit the wrong way round, basically.

        At least I have (quite long) periods when I don’t look on here at all. In fact, I only come on here when I am very bored (as I see you can tell). You, as well as quite a few others, appear almost literally never to be off – year in, year out. I suspect you must spend several hours each day on this and similar websites. It’s quite remarkable – and if I had not personally witnessed it, I’d not have believed it possible.

        What I can still scarcely believe is the sheer repetition of a limited selection of themes. Mind-blowingly lacking in imagination at the very least. I’m not referring to you specifically, ROFL, but the genre more widely. DSMO (don’t start me off) used to be entertaining many years ago – but i certainly didn’t contribute personally. It was good enough to be a spectator sport.

        How on earth did you manage to entertain yourself before the Internet, I wonder. Have you considered psychiatric help?

  6. Ralph was in a low budget film called “The Wytch”.
    I thought that both he and the film, was excellent 😀👍

  7. I like this bloke. He was superb in The Office and he was in Chernobyl too, which was fucking amazing. Sorry but I cannot endorse this cunting.

    • I was trying to think who this chap was – now you mention The Office, I know exactly the character he played. And he played it superbly. Good actor.

    • I like him too. Not a big star just an ordinary actor trying to get by with limited roles. But very much grounded and doesn’t do the Billy Big Bollocks act or stir shit on social media.

      Decent voice too – manly at least and not whiny. Make the most while you can

  8. I read a short interview with him once. He clearly lives for his wife and kids and seems an alright guy. He also comes across as very grounded, so I am with Ghee the Witches on this one.

    On this occasion I won’t be boarding the Cunting Carousel for the ride.

  9. I think Dacia should replace this cunt I’ve never heard of, with the inimitable Arfuur Smiff.

    That rich ‘Mockney’ drawl is guaranteed to have me digging deep into my pockets, and speeding down to my local Dacia dealer, to place a deposit on the ‘Belsen model’ Duster.

    Oooh, fackhin’ ell san, this fing is faaster than old Sarah Moore’s paaants droppin dahhn at the old tip.

    • I fucking hate that ugly professional cockney cunt Arfer Smiff.
      He’s as annoying as those two fucking boring cunts who do the voice-over on “The Repair Shop”
      Regarding one of them, the goat-eyed Bill Patterson, I lived in Scotland ( the country that invented the un-wiped arse) for 2 years and never once did I hear one cunt who sounded like this sack of haggis shit.
      (can’t find clip of the repair shop)

  10. Wasn’t the duster promoted by the long haired one on proper ‘Top Gear’ a few years back?

    ‘Good Neeewwss’ The Dacia Duster is……..

    Can’t commend this cunting as don’t know the fella. Arfur Smith on the other hand is a 24 carat diamond encrusted bell end of a can of cant.

  11. Ralph may be one of those professional Northerers but at least you won’t find him on the Barfta podium lamenting the plight of Syrian channel swimmers and lecturing us about it. And yes Chris Finch was a classic part

    Early days of Talksport used to have some 50 Woodbines a day gruff bloke growling about what’s coming up later in the week. I’m convinced the poor cunt had to spend hours shouting at the walls just to enhance the sore throat effect. The numpty developed throat cancer as I recall and last I heard had been replaced by an infinitely paler imitation.

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