Not the individual, author of 600+ titles encouraging everyone to read very successfully since the 1930’s, but the Bowdlerised stuff circulating right now in a book shop near you.

“The Faraway Tree” and “The Wishing Chair” were always my favourites (pure fantasy with magic chairs and enchanted woods and lands-in-a-cloud at the top-of-the-tree and pixies and wizards) comprising 5 titles altogether, maybe 6. Noddy of course, when I was about 2, contributed to my wanting to read – anyway, I’ve been ordering some books for my sister AND THEY’VE CHANGED ALL THE NAMES!!

“Bessie” is out. Why? If you need to ask the question you wouldn’t understand the answer. She’s Beth now. “Dick” and “Fanny” (although actual names) have been rebadged. Golliwogs? Nasty green goblins? Greeks? I suppose I’ll find out when the books (2 x Wishing Chair, 3 x Faraway Tree) arrive and I look through them before posting them on.

Original “retro” illustrations still available [but with the new text] but the original text is still available (from a London source) [2nd hand] as first editions at appropriate £¥$ which is a major cunt deserving to be cunted just to appease the wokeness.

Enid, the authoress, however, remains sound.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/sep/03/enid-blyton-racism

Nominated by: Excalibur 

Why do Americans love the words “ass” and “shit”? Why has it gone from being a physical to a metaphysical part of their lives? I´ve just watched a Netflix series of “Suits”, now best known because it was the debut for the Black Princess Meghan who is not at all black but let´s not go into that here.

It´s quite well written but every episode has a scene in which someone is told to “move your ass”, “watch your ass”, “shake your ass”, “kick ass” etc. It doesn´t stop there because it is accompanied by “shit” as in “I don´t give a shit”, “take your shit and go”, “shit happens” and, most eloquent of all, “shit, shit, shit”.

Tut, tut, tut. What would George Washington say?

Nominated by: Mr Polly

Phone camera bad Samaritans

In this age of smartphones everyone basically can record video. This can be good to show wars/protests that the media don’t want you to know about and I’m not talking about that.

https://youtu.be/9OHRbH6PC_Q

I’m talking about things like this. You’ll find dozens of the things on the net. People happy to record and watch, even cheer on fights and muggings and do nothing even though they’re RIGHT THERE and could help stop it but they don’t. Instead they upload the shit for views and ‘cred’ most of the time.

Nominated by: LazyBiscuits 

I nominate ‘Professor Green” you know him – that cutting edge dude, the voice of the yoof. Super cool rapper, up wiv the kids, tough upbringing. Tattooed to shite, been stanley bladed to fuck on the streets.

No. This piece of dog shit is a sell out, an arsewipe of monstrous proportions. Just like the rest of them when the establishment and the mainstream “comes a knockin” with a few quid, and household recognition.

I have an idea that maybe he will be the next presenter of “Antiques Cockshow” or “Have I got some dog shit in my attic for you.”

Fuck the creep. And here’s hoping he gets the gig for some morning daytime shit TV somewhere, with ‘light in his loafers Schofield’ and his creepy wandering hands.

Fuck this sellout shithouse. To hell and back.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9604225/Professor-Green-Gizzi-Erskine-reveal-threw-ultimate-post-lockdown-garden-festival.html

Nominated by: Big Mal

Did anyone else watch that bag o’shite wimminz show The Pact on AlBeeb recently? If so you were no doubt as ungratified as I was to see this hatchet-jawed actress, sorry, ‘ac-tor’, in her customary role, playing ‘Hayley Cropper’. Again.

This dreadful old munter first washed up on Coronation St as ‘TVs first transgender star’ and I’d argue that you can trace the decline in that once-great / now seldom-watched show to that ridiculous storyline. Gone were the days of Minnie and Elsie sharing some humorous gossip over a half of stout in the Rovers; ushered in were ever more ridiculously woke, sensational but improbable storylines with one of those tedious “If you’ve been affected by” messages over the end credits.

But I digress. “Red Hayley” followed the usual deluded view of actors and felt it was her civic duty to loudly proclaim the wonders of Catweazle at the last General Election, no doubt from the safety of her 5-bed property in leafy Wilmslow. I knew there and then that would clinch a few thousand votes to the Tories.

Broadchurch, Happy Valley, Morse, there it still is. Same dodgy anorak; same crappy helmet hairstyle; same professional northerner dialect; it’s Hayley Cropper / Crapper all over again. There should be one of those aforementioned Warnings at the START of the show to alert us all to this old trout’s imminent appearance.

https://www.entertainmentdaily.co.uk/tv/the-pact-with-julie-hesmondhalgh-releases-first-look-images-from-the-bbc-crime-drama/

Nominated by: Isaac Hunt