The Parole Board

The Parole Board are all a bunch of Cunts.
These twats seem to let people out of prison without any thought of the innocent public who have to live along these scumbag convicts.First of all there was that John Warboys they were going to let out until more women came forward and kicked up a fuss and now we’ve just had this Cunt today who was caught in Congleton Joseph Mcann who they let out on licence without actually assessing him.How about this you useless fuckwits,anybody you deem fit to come out on parole lives with you and your family for 6 months first ,before being released into the great wide world.
Or even better NO FUCKING PAROLE for any scumbag.

Gobshites!

Nominated by Crusty Flaps

“Enjoy!”

“..go on, enjoy it you cunt..”

‘Enjoy’

When in the name of fuck did it become seemingly compulsory for those serving the food that you’ve paid for to order you to ‘enjoy’ as they walk off with a nonchalance only surpassed by the world champions of arrogance, Parisian Waiters.

Hang on a bastard minute, who the fuck do you think you are ordering me to ‘enjoy’ my food you cunt, you’re only 16, fuck off and get fingered like normal 16 year olds.

I’ll be the judge of whether I will ‘enjoy’ my food.

Of course I suspect this is some ‘Americanism’ that’s crept across the Atlantic, washed up in Londonistan then like all utter modern shite gained traction with the ‘über’ set who’s raison d’etre is to be like soooooo different.

‘Enjoy’. Fuck you. Cunt.

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface

Know Better Chefs

Know Better Chefs,
In this new world of PC and people’s feelings I resent having my meal dictated to me.
I used to be a cook “Cook” not a chef, I did short orders and main sittings of set menus, a set menu is a fucking set menu with a take it or leave it option, short orders were small custom made dishes to the customers specifications.
You want a dog shit omelette? There you go sir!
Now what has started to fuck me off is a spate of arguments that I have had with short order chefs, argument No1 I wanted rocket in my calzone Pizza (there is a fuck off big pile of rocket on the counter so it’s not like he has to go out and pick it), well the cunt flatly refused to put it in my calzone, his reasoning being that they didn’t do that in his village/ part of Italy.
Next an almost bloody argument in the local kebab house, “what you want boss?” . “Hi I would like a large lamb shish with lemon and salad please”…… No you not tell me what you want in kebab!, Frankly at this point all diplomacy went out the window, I don’t like the cunt, he is a tax dodging wanker and I suspect him of dry rodgering one of his hair dressing boys next door.
As Mrs B said it went from 0 to 100mph in 4 seconds, finishing with “fuck you I will take my order elsewhere” (never to return)
So why the fuck can’t a short order outlet actually fulfil a short order and not offer advice on how you should eat it? I am not asking for a dressing made from virgin’s’ tears, nor garnish harvested from the dark side of Everest, just simple requests that I am willing to pay for and if it tastes like shit, well that’s my problem.

Nominated by lord benny

Jo Good

I am nominating a cunt from Radio London (BBC of course) is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel, however…

Jo Good is the most whiny self centred leftard I have ever had the misfortune to have defecate down my aural passages in many years and truly deserves a full and proper cunting. She constantly bangs on about how she was once an “arctress” the only trace of which appears to her being the dopey bint that Rocket Rod gets to chat up in Only Fools where her acting ability appears to be limited to giggling inanely at nothing in particular.

Unfortunately I used to listen to this shit in the car occasionally as background noise until I actually started listening to the bollocks being broadcast. Her other pet loves are living in Marylebone or Marleybone as the cunts insist on pronouncing it and bizarrely Dogs but then I suppose every species to itself.

A lover also of Diversity, multi culti shit, communiteez, “Londoners “(euphemism for peacefuls) and generally all the shit that is wrong with this cuntry today but particularly the caliphate of Londonistan. Fellow cunters, tune in at your peril but feel free to cunt me if I’m wrong. I’m not.

PS. This is my first cunting and I don’t see a way of getting a picture of my Cunt on the cunting. I’ll leave it to the cunts at ISAC to sort that as I’m clearly a cunt.

Nominated by CuntKickerIn

Tonsils

TONSILS and ADENOIDS

Why give these a cunting you might ask? Well I’ve always taken an interest in medical matters, largely because of my advancing years and the decrepit state of my body. During my extensive research, I’ve found that tonsils and adenoids are about the only parts of the body that can grow back after being removed. This can happen if all the tissues are not removed during surgery. I’ve come to the conclusion what a shitty God we’ve got. Who the fuck needs another pair of tonsils? When you think of all the useful body parts he could have regenerated, most of which would have benefitted me. A new heart pulsing fresh blood through my body? New legs to help me walk better? A new bladder to stop me pissing so much at night? Most of all a new willie for an old one to help me regain the vigour of my youth? No, WTF do I get – a new set of fuckin tonsils? I might have more success praying to Allah. Tonsils are a cunt.

Nominated by Bluntspeakingcunt