Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Neil Oliver

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Ugly ageing long haired gimlet eyed jocko presenter cunt to be seen fronting things historical and fanatically pro-jocko.

Precisely the type of cunt me forebears would have had stretched upon the rack and put to the question for a few days. Then slit his belly and have him paraded around his home town clutching his own guts before adjourning to the nearest gibbet and hanging him slowly for the amusement of the populace and to the distress of his loved ones.

On his tortured demise his nearest and dearest would be accorded the privilege of cutting the cunt down before the regimental hounds were set upon his entrails. The cunt’s relatives could then purchase the remains of his carcase for five shillings (in retrospect a mistake to be so merciful) and allowed to consign it to an unmarked grave. Example made.

English rule at its finest.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Stephen Kinnock

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Stephen Kinnock

Eurocunt gravy train riding son of welsh windbag wanker Neil Kinnock. This ugly slaphead cunt is spawned out of the Eton for Eurocunts, the College of Europe via Cambridge me dears. Married to the Danish Prime Minister – they apparantly met at the College of Eurocunts in Belgium.

Now being parachuted into the very safe Labour seat of Aberavon. Welsh labour cunts are accustomed to incestuous buggery and sheep shagging so a spot of political incest is perfectly normal. Whilst we are at it let’s follow the trail of vomit back to the parents, Lady for fucks sake Kinnock, Baroness of Holyhead and the original ginger haired celtic cunt and running boy for the EU, (are yer awllright – oh fuck I’ve just lost the election) total tosser Neil K.

The whole fucking family has dedicated itself to bumming orf the eurocunt gravy train. Fucking shower.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Kevin Webster

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Kevin Webster and his range of dejected facial expressions. How that cunt got through an audition is beyond me.

Nominated by: Cuntbag

It always baffled me how Kev stayed so long on the Street… As far as I was concerned the only purpose Kevin Webster ever served in the show was being a stooge to the great Terry Duckworth

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

( Michael Le Vell aka Kev was, of course, found innocent. Like his ‘victims’ perhaps? Ed. )

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin

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Paltrow ass

Possibly the dullest ever celebrity couple are splitting, but not splitting. Even their break up is about as interesting as the colour beige.

Apparently, Chris reckons he was gay and she was a beard. For some reason, he prefers a different kind of arse.

Nominated by: The Oncoming Fart & Dioclese

Gywyneth Paltrow is a cunt in many ways

First: A friend of mine was a make up artist on that pile of crap “Shakespeare In Love”: and she told me that Paltrow was such a snotty cunt to all the crew and staff on the set… Clicking her fingers instead of directly asking for things or people…

Her constant moaning about the UK: how she hates the horrible English weather, and how she can’t get a decent pizza in London (my heart fucking bleeds!) and other such shite… She can piss off back to that Hollywood craphole now…

Throwing her toys out of her luvvie pram on Iron Man 2: because a younger and better looking bird (Scarlett Johansson) was getting all the attention and press, and “Golden Girl Gwyneth” was no longer Number 1… Little Gwynypoos reacted by ostracizing and ignoring Johansson…

Her dire English accent in (more crap!) “Sliding Doors”
“You wenker! You sed, sed, forking wenker!”

This latest divorce shit: Talk about up your own arse self importance! “It isn’t easy to be married for ten years” My parents managed 49 (until my old man died).

And as for “Conscious Uncoupling”: For fuck’s sake…. Is that Hollywood twatspeak for “I’ve been shagging behind Chris’s back”?! Just say you’re finished… Don’t attach a pretentious psychobabble 2000 word essay to it, you Twatterattii cunt!

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Bono [5]

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Bono is a 24 carat, prize cunt. He wants everybody to alleviate Third World debt while the cunt doesn’t pay any taxes himself because his company is registered in Holland.

What a prize pillow humping thundercunt !

Nominated by: Lloyd Kennedy