Reality TV

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All reality TV is for cunts, “The Voice” the “X Factor”, “I’m a (has-been) Celebrity”. Programmers with as much imagination as a retarded monkey, spewing out the same old shite every year because the brain-dead population of the UK are like crack addicts, who will vegetate on the couch during prime time TV and suck it all in.

THEN they will bore the crap out of everyone at work, discussing it on Monday.

Nominated by: Captain Tripps

Will I Am is a twat and the Voice is auditions as entertaunment shizer. I wouldn’t mind smashing that Fergie out of the Black Eyed Peas though…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

…and that Tom Jones is a cunt too – but I’d shag Kylie

Nominated by: Dioclese

Event junkies

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All the ballbags who rushed to buy dried up Kate Bush tickets in fifteen minutes.
The wankers who go to see the likes of Miranda Hart.

What the fuck! Sad, ‘desperate to be seen at the big event’ cunts.

Kill em all.

Nominated by: Dan

Oscar Pistorius

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Old Pisso on trial now endlessly clogging up the 24 hour news channels. Every sympathy for legless cunts. Old soldier – managed to hang on to me bollocks during war service (many didn’t) then on civvy street took a position fronting an outfit flogging Thalidomide to the liberated fillies of the swinging sixties.

I short I know me cripples. Crippled outside, crippled inside. Chip on the shoulder cunts with a deep hatred of society. What sick cunt stockpiles large calibre high velocity fragmentation ammo designed to burst apart on impact to cause irreparable damage to the vital organs? Then fires multiple bursts of same at his girlfriend (a rather fit looking filly at that) on the khazi? In short if one takes it in the head it minces one’s brains and also blows one’s arse orf.

We are then treated to continual snivelling, fake tears and rent-a-quote apologies to her nearest and dearest in a gutless South Efrican eccent from the cunt on trial. Hang the cunt My Lady.

Intrigued by the cunt’s ammo though. Must try to track some down. Just the ticket for the foxes and badgers infesting me land. …Aha! Here we have it from the Los Angeles Times:

Pistorius fired Winchester Ranger bullets of the same basic design as Black Talon rounds. The latter are controversial because they produce jagged metal talons as they travel through the target’s body, raking through organs and maximizing injury and blood loss. Winchester announced in 1993 it was withdrawing Black Talon bullets from sale after public outcry over their use in two high-profile mass shootings.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Barbara Windsor [2]

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Babs Windsor is an old gorblimey slag, and she was never sexy even in her younger days (Angie Douglas and Valerie Leon were the sexy ones from the Carry On films!).

Dear old Babs also bigs up those murdering Kray Twins cunts at every opportunity… She also claims that she slept with one of them… Was it the one who went in Broadmoor? That would explain a lot…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

( And she was shit in Eastenders too! Ed. )