Celebrity Fragrances

dkny-myny-fragrance

Did you get some for Christmas?

After all, ‘Is the season to senselessly spend loads of cash on cunts you can’t stand, so all these lemming-like mongs go out and buy celebrity fragrances….

Basically cheap and nasty bog water perfume that thick cunts pay well over the odds for, because it has some greedy want more money celebrity cunt’s name and ugly mug on it… They all do it: Beckham (both of the cunts!), Ladyboy Ga Ga, Katy Perry, Britney Spears (I thought she was dead!), Beyonce and probably that Kardashian slag too…

Even that fat obnoxious warthog, Jade Goody had a perfume (Christ knows what it smelled like!)….

Anyone who buys a celebrity perfume is a cunt, and any bloke who ever uses Beckham or One Direction aftershave is a poofter….

Nominated: Norman

Ticket touts [2]

GET-ME-IN

Ticket sites are undisputed cunts…

A matter of hours after Stone Roses tickets went on sale those bastards at getmein.com are flogging them well over their face value… If someone does this outside Old Trafford they are viewed as a tout… And that’s all these sites like Ticketmaster and Get Me In are: just touts who want to hoover up as much money as possible…

The band themselves could find a better way and help stop fans getting ripped off… Didn’t Led Zeppelin in their early years used to sell their tickets through their fan club and therefore their fans got first pickings and at face value? I like The Roses as a band and as people… I just hope they don’t turn into another Eagles: just doing their greatest hits for enormous amounts of cash…

The upcoming gigs are also at The Etihad Stadium…. Fuck that… Surely the Arena would have been a better venue?

Nominated by: Norman

eBay

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eBay – a market of cunts!

A friend of mine recently wanted to bid for an item but was not happy that the robbing cunt of a seller was asking 15 fucking quid for postage. Luckily she found another similar item for the same price from a local seller so arranged the purchase to collect. Only this cunt was worse. The fucker failed to mention missing parts till the 11th hour, so my friend told him to fuck himself, quite rightly the cunt. Of course by now she’d missed the first cunt’s sale and there was only one more available from some cunt asking £50 more, so he got fucked off as well.

I once won a Cocteau Twins CD off there for a quid. The cunt selling must have been miffed ‘cos the tightarsed fuck failed to dispatch the cunt for six fucking weeks. I gave the bastard some right negative feedback, I can fucking tell you.

What I also hate about these cunts is how 99% of items are now fucking buy it now. The cunts don’t even let you nab a fucking bargain like they used to when it was all bids. And don’t get me started on Pay Cunting Pal, I wouldn’t trust that fucking set up again after the cunts got hacked that time.

Nominated by: Dead Bill

Ebay are cunts, buying is usually ok, selling can be a financial fucking minefield of ways ebay can hold on to your dosh under a smokescreen of ‘buyer protection’ loopholes!

Nominated by: Pagliacci

Left over turkey

Leftover Christmas turkey

What the fuck is the matter with people who buy food at Christmas?

Anybody watch that programme last week about eating well for less at Christmas? The cunts in question spent over £1,400 on Christmas grub and booze and threw most of it away afterwards. The ‘experts’ got the bill down to around the £400 mark. And the cunts had no idea what they spent last year! Why has this country gone financially stupid???

And why exactly do we buy a fucking great big turkey that’s big enough for five times the number who are going to eat it? Boxing day? Cold turkey and salad followed by turkey and cranberry sauce sarnies for tea. Next day? Same. Day after? Same again.

Fuck me if we’re not in danger of having dried up turkey sarnies well into new year – unless, of course, we’re like those cunts on the telly that throw 85% of it away after Chrissie lunch!

Silly cunts!

Anyway, now I’ve got that off me chest, I’m off for a turkey sandwich…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Justin Welby [4]

archbishop-justin-welby

A very large proportion of religious people are the sneakiest, dishonest most hypocritical cunts you are likely to run into with Welby being no exception! The sneaky cunt soon turned his words around in an interview though. “Welby said he was certain, however, about the existence of Jesus, even talking about his presence beside him”. Which i’m sure was the sneaky cunts intention in the first place via his underhanded soundbite.

Hmmm – so Welby doubts the existence of god but he is certain about the existence of jesus….well as I remember it jesus was the son of god so if god doesn’t exist?…thick twat!

Have you seen what the sneaky christian cunts the church of England have been up to, trying to get their advert shown before the new Star Wars film in every cinema, their advert is a bunch of religious cunts in different scenarios trying not to look like nutjobs reciting the lords prayer!

Thankfully the cinemas have banned it. Then the sneaky cunt the bishop Cottrell said in displeasure about the ban but our advert was given a U rating so it obviously won’t offend anyone lol what about disgust, I’m not going to see the Star Wars film but if I did and they showed that nonsense fucking ad trying to brainwash decent people trying to scoff their M&MS, it would probably offend, annoy or disgust most of the people that aren’t religious, i’d sooner see another useless tampon ad with some fucking bint jumping around on a pogostick, cunts!

So what’s next, the fucking muslims firing in an ad with more religious nutters reciting some nonsense from the quran.

Cuunnnnnnttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttsssssssssssssssssssss!

Nominated by: Pagliacci

Justin Welby…

Definitely a cunt at Christmas!

Nominated by: Dioclese