Ticketmaster [2]


So all tickets for the Ariana Grande Manchester benefit gig sold oit within minutes orf going orn sale. Ticket agents old friends TicketMaster (Master minds behind London Olympics balls). Endless promises to sort ouit dodgy 3rd world/chinko/mafia ticketing bots. Have to buy ‘em at inflated prices orn Ebay now. Unless our AlKillyer friends have bought the lot as a thank you for their loyal supporters. Cunts too dumb to realise they need a few proper punters there or else not worth going.
Gig should go with a bang either way. And TicketMaster will have made their money whatever. Proves Capitalism is King.

Nominated by Sir Limpy Stoke

Ticket touts [2]


Ticket sites are undisputed cunts…

A matter of hours after Stone Roses tickets went on sale those bastards at getmein.com are flogging them well over their face value… If someone does this outside Old Trafford they are viewed as a tout… And that’s all these sites like Ticketmaster and Get Me In are: just touts who want to hoover up as much money as possible…

The band themselves could find a better way and help stop fans getting ripped off… Didn’t Led Zeppelin in their early years used to sell their tickets through their fan club and therefore their fans got first pickings and at face value? I like The Roses as a band and as people… I just hope they don’t turn into another Eagles: just doing their greatest hits for enormous amounts of cash…

The upcoming gigs are also at The Etihad Stadium…. Fuck that… Surely the Arena would have been a better venue?

Nominated by: Norman



So it’s a right game in Glasgow. Commonwealth Games website overwhelmed by “unexpected demand”. Punters wasting hours trying to get on the site then unable to get tickets. Punters trying to book on the phone getting engaged tone then finding they have been billed £100 for the privilege. Sound familiar? London Olympics? You are not wrong. Same yank shower running the show? Correct. Ticketmaster.

The London tossers were apparently obliged to use the yank cunts because they have some rolling sweet heart deal stitched up with the world governing body. Land the Olympics then you have to use Ticketmaster to flog yer tickets. Not so Glasgow so why use the proven masters orf the fuckup? I smell dodgy jockeys and the big fix. Lay odds that there is plenty of cash in large brown envelopes circulating in certain circles in Glasgow.

They may have acquired a virtual monopoly on mass spectator events but once again Ticketmaster are revealed as incompetent cunts.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke