So it’s a right game in Glasgow. Commonwealth Games website overwhelmed by “unexpected demand”. Punters wasting hours trying to get on the site then unable to get tickets. Punters trying to book on the phone getting engaged tone then finding they have been billed £100 for the privilege. Sound familiar? London Olympics? You are not wrong. Same yank shower running the show? Correct. Ticketmaster.

The London tossers were apparently obliged to use the yank cunts because they have some rolling sweet heart deal stitched up with the world governing body. Land the Olympics then you have to use Ticketmaster to flog yer tickets. Not so Glasgow so why use the proven masters orf the fuckup? I smell dodgy jockeys and the big fix. Lay odds that there is plenty of cash in large brown envelopes circulating in certain circles in Glasgow.

They may have acquired a virtual monopoly on mass spectator events but once again Ticketmaster are revealed as incompetent cunts.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

8 thoughts on “Ticketmaster

  1. Ticketmaster certainly takes the art of money-grabbing to new lows. Their license to print money was presumably granted to them by a pissed, vile imbecile of the sordid Olympic Committee type and presumably he was stuffed to the point of grinning inanely after receiving the cocks of various big cheeses in the inner-circle whilst under the influence of various class A substances. Disgusting money grabbing wretches tend to rise to the top of the cunt-pile unfortunately. I wonder if it’s even possible to out-cunt the cuntishness on display here?

  2. The Haka.

    Load of fucking shit this is. A choreographed, stylised, quasi war dance, written specifically for the rugby team, performed in the name of “culture” at a sporting event. Get fucked. There isn’t one single drop of Maori blood running through any of these thick cunts, so where is the culture? And why do it? Answer: because it amounts to blatant gamesmanship. These fuck-wits slap, gurn and snarl their way into a nice warm frenzy while the other bunch of hapless morons stand around freezing their tits off on winters night in New Zealand. Come kick off, only one team is capable of moving. Load of cheating, boring fucking shit.
    P.S. When performed by Maori on a marae, a traditional haka is a thing to behold.

  3. It is impressive when maoris do it. When white people do it it, it as embarrassing as white youths trying to sound gangsta, the atheists trying to sing at a church wedding (me included), rock choirs full of middle aged women, and being leader of the lib dems

  4. I might just win a cunt nom for this. They may well be a shabby third rate internet ticket tout. But seriously, why would you want to go to the commonwealth games, ever?

  5. I think it’s all rather amusing.

    Boo hoo, sniff. I didn’t get my Kate’s Bush-y wushy live tickets. Waaaah, snivel cry…
    Fucking wankers.
    Good on you Ticketmaster you bunch of bloodsucking corporate spunk dribbles.

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