Time was when Shano was a typical Oz bloke. Ugly as a goanna’s arse and skin like Kylie Minogue’s cunt (allegedly) – sun dried, wrinkled and flaking. Then he started sporting multi-coloured stripes orf heavy duty sunblock orn the field and was seen drinking poncy cocktails without 4X chasers. Worrying rumours he had shacked up with alleged actress and aging celeb Liz Hurley. Within months the poor cunt is transformed into an androgynous Mr Spock baby doll. Cunt cut dyed barnet, brow surgery, tattooed eyebrows and fillers, mascara and eye liner, lip fillers and gloss, facial fillers, acid skin peels, botox, plus a full set orf tombstone teeth all topped orf by several coats orf oily skin gloss. Almost fancy him meself – not to forget a bottle orf arse parfum from Gai Paris. In short Ms Hurley seems to have guinea pigged oit on him whatever she was contemplating for herself. Bugger me what the Waltzing Matilda has had done below the waist.
All manliness nipped, snicked, glossed and suctioned oit orf him, the shiny capon has now been given the old heave-ho to cruise the minor celeb circuit while endorsing hair thickening products and the like. “You too can look like me”. Yerssss.
Similar thing happened to a mate orf mine. Silly old cunt got hooked by a Romanian tart who proceeded to pimp him up all at his own expense. After a coupla months she showed him the door while he was still in a great deal orf pain from the “procedures” until he remembered it was his own fucking door. She was most put oit at his lack orf gratitude, she had transformed his life. He is now poorer but not much wiser.
Point is slags and cuntos nationwide have a new notion of “the look” taken from the selfie pose and online trends. Fuck Me! is now the new normal.
Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke
