What a load of sanctimonious cunt.

Of all the years you’d have thought this bunch of killjoys would have given it a fucking break this year round. It is a shit year and a beer or five makes it a lot more enjoyable.

Apparently they have “fun” activities to do instead; today (the 1st) is baking. I can’t help but baking makes you a fat cunt with a messy kitchen.

What an increasing number of people seem to be thinking these days is that exceeding 12 units a week makes you like Keith Moon or Oli Reed, usually on the BBC news this opinion is spoken.

Well, I have this to say: Fuck off and leave us alone, if we want a few beers and aren’t harming anyone and it makes us feel good then go and fuck yourself if you think I’m listening to your Puritan bollocks.

Nominated by: Fortress Cuntimus 

(They’ll be banning wanking next – “Ignore Your Member for December” – DA)

(That’s the end of your social life then, DA. – NA)

Malta deserves a nomination, just for sheer pettiness.

David Attenborough recently made it known that he’d given Prince George a fossilised shark tooth that he’d found on a beach in Malta back in the 1960’s.

What was Malta’s response? “WE WANT THAT SHARK TOOTH, IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM”!

Fuck you say? It’s a tooth from a creature that died several MILLION years ago, that was found by some English bloke fifty years ago. He must have mentioned it before now, so why are you making an issue of it now? And surely your museum has at least half a dozen of the fucking things. Y

ou don’t need it, you wretched pedants. Are you still butt hurt that the UK dared to leave the EU? Because I remember the threats your piss ant island made in the run up to the referendum.

One of my maternal uncles was stationed on Malta during the siege in 1942, an action for which the people of the island were collectively awarded the George Cross, due to the heavy fighting. It’s sad to see that the Maltese government have become such a pedantic bunch of petty minded cunts.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw 

(Seems that Malta has now backed down, but they’re still cunts – DA https://news.sky.com/story/malta-backs-down-on-demand-that-shark-tooth-given-to-prince-george-by-david-attenborough-is-returned-12085257)

The purblind “working from home” crew are total cunts.

All I ever read these days is “working from home has changed my life” or “I’ll never go back into the office again I can tell you”

Listen you stupid cunts, whatever you think, if you’ve been happily working from your hovel for the last few months plans are in progress to replace you with either Ntebeb, Survinder or Pavel working in some far flung shit hole.

If you really think your company is going to pay you to sit at home and eat junk food, become alcohol dependent and watch shite TV when your job can be done at a fraction of the cost by the swarm of third world rodents you’re deluded.

I’ve never been so productive you may say?…rubbish, you just think that while the sun is shining and the real misery from this fake pandemic hasn’t kicked in yet. Just wait until Mid-November when it’s dark by three thirty, people at your company are being laid off left and right and you’re sitting there shitting yourself because of off all the money you owe on rubbish like new cars, holidays and TV sets.

I’ve been self-employed for years, I know lean times come along and have planned for it long before Bruce Lee Fever became fashionable but the rest of you work from home sheep need to start picking your own park bench.

Fuck all you can do about it either.

Nominated by: Spanky Mc Spank

Nomination for Cayde-6

Long time lurker and reader but I have never been incensed enough to put the proverbial pen to paper but this is just a sign of how bad things have got.

Apparently now, and I quote.

If you are white and own a dog, you are openly participating and advocating for cultural appropriation and colonialism. Reinforcing this culture is NOT acceptable and will come with its repercussions.

https://unitedwildlifeunion.com/2020/08/01/why-white-people-owning-dogs-is-racist/

The mind boggles, is there anything white people can do that isn’t racist?

Well, I’m off to take my beloved eight year old dog to the pound so he can be culturally enriched.

Cunts

ps. If you want to know more about Cayde-6 then here is its bio. Explains a lot.

Cayde is a father to two and a lifelong conservationist. When not committing time to the local zoo, Cayde spends his time creating and disseminating educational materials for local schools that help kids understand why protecting animals and LGBTQIA+ rights is so important.

Nominated by: Phat Cunt