The Met Office (4)

The Met Office definition of a white Christmas is a pile of wank.

We’ve had record high December temperatures in many parts of the UK, where the weather has felt more like spring than the depths of winter. And yet, because a couple of places in Scotland happened to receive a small smattering of snow, an official white Christmas has been declared.Even though most of the UK hasn’t been anywhere close to getting the stuff since the cold snap last month.

The cunts have form for this too. Why are they so desperate to declare a white Christmas every year to the point of setting the criteria at a single FLAKE? What do they actually get out of it?

I know it’s a trivial cunting all things considered but it’s clear the wankers have some sort of agenda for whatever reason.


BBC News

Nominated by: OpinionatedCunt

52 thoughts on “The Met Office (4)

    • Kind of like how a day can be the hottest on record if you take the temperature from the tar mac of Heathrow’s busiest runway.

    • ‘The definition that the Met Office uses to define a white Christmas is for one snowflake to be observed falling in the 24 hours of 25 December somewhere in the UK. Traditionally we used to use a single location in the country to define a white Christmas, which was the Met Office building in London.’

      Just like a temperature 1°C higher than normal for a single day, somewhere on the planet, constitutes a climate crisis. Utter bollocks.

  1. Personally I’m hoping to see another winter like 1963 before I die. It’ll be panic stations, it’ll be fucking hilarious! Grab your popcorn!

    • Me too arfur.
      Another February 1963.
      All the econuts have ripped out their gas boilers.
      No wind, no sun, so frequent power cuts.
      Mass hypothermia.
      I’ll be laughing my bollocks off as I throw another free log from the garden onto the fire.

  2. “Im dreaming of a white Christmas”

    Little known fact Bing Crosby was a grand wizard of the klan.

    Anyway with global boiling now a thing the earth should explode before next Christmas.

    Hasn’t snow been declared racist yet?
    It’s only a matter of time.

    • Are you serious or joking?

      Some people associate the song White Christmas with the Klan and other white supremacist groups. However, the song was written by Irving Berlin who was born, Israel Beilin (a Russian Jew) so that notion is a bit misplaced.

      I’ve never heard that Bing was in the Klan. (I have heard that he was a drunken, abusive asshole.) Do you have a link or a citation in support?

  3. The met orifice agenda is very obvious. Google it and you get ‘Met Office: Weather and Climate Change’.
    The clowns can’t even predict tomorrow’s weather with accuracy, yet they know what the weather will be like in 2050. Yeah, right.

  4. I remember early last year I cunted the 2023 “Beast From The East” hysteria. For over 6 weeks it was “any day now…. any day now” until it eventually hit in mid-late March.

    Where I was we had a couple of inches of snow for a day until it got rained away…….. yeah, not very beastly and I don’t think it even came from an easterly direction either.

  5. Perhaps it’s the next big betting scandal with the gormless cunts betting their pension with William Hill every year on a “white Christmas”then getting busy finding somewhere on top of a mountain in the cairngorms where it snowed for ten minutes.

    Abolish the bent cunts.

  6. The Met always break promises.
    Get my hopes up then…..nowt..

    They’re like a deadbeat dad.

    Get you a scaletrix for your birthday!
    Misses birthday then he’s crying at Fathers for Justice how much he loves his kids.


    They promise snow, you get a mild day.
    They put out a amber warning and drive only if necessary,
    Bit of rain.

    There’s me looking a cunt in the park with my sledge wearing skiing gear and mittens and a balaclava.

    They break your heart then laugh at you.

    • The met Office is now a offshoot of the met police, they use all those supercomputers to hunt down online hate crime.

      There’s just one bloke on the roof with a thermometer and anemometer.
      I think his name is Harry caine.

  7. I understand the fucking BBC don’t even use the fucking Met Office for forecast information any more. Apparently they make their own shit up to ensure it more fully fits the climate change narrative that they are pedalling. I checked out the BBC weather pages yesterday and they couldn’t even get it right in real time! There was suppose to be a zero percent chance of rain at 6.00pm but it was fucking pissing down. The BBC failed when even the fucking seaweed managed to get it right. Cunts.

    Good morning, everyone.

  8. Weather forecasters are all lying bastards. The local forecasts give a % chance of rain, so dry or wet they cant be wrong.
    1% chance of rain – pisses down all day. We told you so.
    Lying bastards.

  9. February 1963 – the big freeze, snow everywhere for weeks on end.
    Brilliant, I thought. So I got a sledge for Christmas, 1963.
    We didn’t get a flake of snow in that winter.

  10. The Met office are a shower of shite.
    If Eisenhower had been guided by them on the 5th June 1944, all allied troops would have drowned in their landing craft the next morning.
    They still use the line “Of course, it’s very difficult to predict our weather seeing as we are an island “.
    Indeed it seems the met office are in their own little world where forecasts are simply too general or exaggerated to fit the climate crisis agenda.
    “Storms in the south”.
    What the fuck does that mean exactly? It’s a fucking massive area.
    We know it ends at the English Channel, but how do you define where it starts?
    Cold weather warnings in January. Is this the big freeze they’ve been on about? No, one day out of seven it might drop to minus one.
    BBQ summer! Shall I book a week in Bournemouth?
    Like fuck!
    They are just playing at predicting the weather, it’s all a game with an added sprinkling of climate crisis politics.
    Don’t trust the cunts!

  11. There’ll never be another white Christmas. We have successive governments to thank for that.

    • @isabel end, yep never will we ever see another white Christmas thanks to the flooding of wolligogs and immos👳🏽‍♀️🧕🏽🦍

  12. To find snow, the Meteorological Office smashed open some old refrigerators, by pelting them with paperweight snow scene globes.

  13. Fuck me a yellow warning for a drop in temperature, how the fuck did we survive the winters before these pathetic cunts were born.

  14. There’s a weird ratio at the met office.
    50% hot nerdy birds
    49% bedwetters speccy blokes
    1% people with a stump

    If television is to be believed.

  15. This naming of ‘storms’ is a pile of wank. I believe it’s another, subtle form of control and climate change brainwashing. We’re getting a ‘storm’ almost weekly. They class a bit of wind as a storm. They should put the cunts in a dinghy and drop them into the north Atlantic when there’s a real storm. That’ll fix the wankers.

    • It’s a ambition of mine to have a storm named after me.

      And not one of these lame arse sissy ones that blow like a £5 brass ,a proper one that rips off roofs and leaves backpackers frozen to the side of mountains.

      Lightning cracking and snow belting down, cars abandoned,
      Dams bursting,
      Run for your lives!
      Storm Miserable is headed this way!

      Truly magical

      • I remember in early 2020 there was a storm that was so bad my bedroom was shaking due to the lightning striking the field behind my house. Next morning I came out of the house to go to my car for the journey to work.

        As I approached my motor I noticed something amiss about the car behind it….. it’s roof was lower to the ground than usual on account of the massive oak tree resting lovingly on top of it.

        Luckily my car was completely untouched. Now that was a fucking storm.

  16. If people have nothing better to do, but to find snow for their skis, it means everything’s fine with the world.

    • I think it’s the general gormlessness of the Great British public they’re addressing. Thanks to the collapse in literacy and numeracy amongst school leavers, the government-funded incentives for the underclass to push out multiple drug addicted sprogs, as well as importing inbred goatherds, this country’s population is showing signs of increasing cognitive disability.
      Half of Britain can’t count without using fingers or read without moving lips.

  17. The weather alert office. Every day now we have a yellow warning of some looming disaster. Yellow warning of wind the other day. Possible 40Mph gusts may disturb leaves in garden.

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