National Treasures


A cunt by any other name…

I hope everyone realises that the rest of the nation plays ‘Is A Cunt’ but has a different name for it. Everyone else calls it “National Treasures”. Think of all the people routinely referred to as “national treasures” – Stephen Fry, Sandi Toksvig, Miranda Hart, Alan Titchmarsh, even Morrissey, for fuck’s sake.


Nominated by: Fred West

Cliff Richard, “Sir” Elton John, Helen Mirren, Jeremy Clarkson and now that cunt who plays Sherlock (Jeremy Brett is ‘the’ Sherlock Holmes and Tom Baker is ‘the’ Dr. Who, so the BBC can fuck right off!).

Then of course there is there are the national treasures of the arsewipe tabloid press and the riff-raff who read them: The Beckhams, Katie “any which way you can” Price, Simon Cowell, Noel Gallagher (and his cunt of a brother), Peter Kay, Cheryl Cole, Wayne and Coleen Rooney…

The national treasure cunt quota in Britain is now massively high…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

The biggest cunt of a National Treasure of them all : Helen Mirren – a woman so far up her own arse she meets herself coming back the other way!

Nominated by: Dioclese

The Beckhams


I see the Beckhams are at it again. They’ve got a new TV show to tie in with The World Cup: It’s called “David Beckham – Into The Unknown”

Into the unknown,eh? Well if it involves those two media whore cunts being jettisoned into outer space, then I will watch it. If not then they can sod off… Bloody hell, it’s been over ten years since he left United (backstabbing little fucker!). Yet he and his horrendous wife still fascinate and infest every corner of the media. Will they ever fuck off and leave us in peace?

( Probably not, Norman! Ed. )

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

David Beckham [2]


So, the knob-end that is Brand Beckham has decided to hang up his boots! Hoodey-fucking-ray-ray!!

Gives the cunt more time to hang around the gym perfecting his perfect figure so he looks good in his underwear ads with a sock stuffed down his shorts.

Please, Becks, PLEASE just fuck off and be a cunt somewhere nice and remote and quiet so we never hear about you ever ever again, you cunt!

Nominated by : Dioclese