National Treasures


A cunt by any other name…

I hope everyone realises that the rest of the nation plays ‘Is A Cunt’ but has a different name for it. Everyone else calls it “National Treasures”. Think of all the people routinely referred to as “national treasures” – Stephen Fry, Sandi Toksvig, Miranda Hart, Alan Titchmarsh, even Morrissey, for fuck’s sake.


Nominated by: Fred West

Cliff Richard, “Sir” Elton John, Helen Mirren, Jeremy Clarkson and now that cunt who plays Sherlock (Jeremy Brett is ‘the’ Sherlock Holmes and Tom Baker is ‘the’ Dr. Who, so the BBC can fuck right off!).

Then of course there is there are the national treasures of the arsewipe tabloid press and the riff-raff who read them: The Beckhams, Katie “any which way you can” Price, Simon Cowell, Noel Gallagher (and his cunt of a brother), Peter Kay, Cheryl Cole, Wayne and Coleen Rooney…

The national treasure cunt quota in Britain is now massively high…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

The biggest cunt of a National Treasure of them all : Helen Mirren – a woman so far up her own arse she meets herself coming back the other way!

Nominated by: Dioclese

10 thoughts on “National Treasures

  1. I suppose after the filthy thieving corrupt war criminal cunt, One-eyed Gordon (spaz kids) Brown(-shit-stained underpants), sold all our gold for next to nothing (on a promise he would get the same pay-back as Tony), we have to have something as national treasure – but why does it have to shit-stabbing mincers with kid-size skeletons in their water closets, and syphilitic old bags with tattooed tits and yellow fingers.

  2. Fuck “National Treasures”. Weren’t Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall “National Treasures”? Yeah, exactly…

    Personally I think we should do to “National” treasures what pirates used to do to their treasure – take them out into the middle of nowhere, and bury them in a hole somewhere never to be seen by human eyes again.

    Now, where’s my shovel?

  3. Nomination: Lutfar Rahman. Vote-rigging, extremist Muslim cunt that owns Tower Hamlets. The place is overrun with freeloading cunts that cannot speak English. Flatten it and turn it into a car park. Cunts.

    • “The place is overrun with freeloading cunts that cannot speak English.”

      Funny, for one moment I thought you was talking about Scotland…

  4. Jimmy Savile was seen as a ‘national tresure’ for years… Says it all really…

    Helen Mirren as a national treasure? She is bloody Russian, for a kick off: and she isn’t even that great an actress… Miranov got her tits out and shagged on screen at every opportunity… No different to what Sharon Stone did in the 90s (in fact, Mirren was worse). But because she knows a shitload of London theatre luvvies and establishment figures the silly tart is a national treasure?! Actresses or models who make a living getting their kit off and what have you get looked down on by the ‘high culture’ cunts these days. But if it’s ‘Dame Helen’ it is either conveniently acceptable or it is swept under the carpet…What a load of shite!

      • I wonder if Her Majesty (the real one) has ever seen the Penthouse production of Caliglua, featuring Dame Helen?

        I don’t know why they’d want to make a film about the life of Elizabeth II anyway… It’s hardly the all action, backstabbing and beheadings antics of Henry VIII, is it?

  5. Greg Dyke is a cunt…. This wanker is now complaining that the Football Association is “Too white and too male.” What is wrong with either of those? And what the fuck does he want it to be?!

    OK, a game that is played by men, managed by men, watched (mainly) by men and is (supposed to be) a man’s game, as they say…. Yet Dyke wants to turn the FA into another BBC (Dyke used to run that pisspot of a Corporation too!)?! The same BBC: where being a man (or white, for that matter) is now a handicap, and people get top jobs as token gestures because of their (female) gender, skin colour or (homo)sexuality… The FA has its faults, but this is potential madness… One can imagine the scenario: “This man/woman has no knowledge or experience of the game. But he/she has worked at the BBC and is either/or black and/or gay, so they get on the FA board..”

    They have already got women bloody linesmen (assistant referee, my arse!). If they get involved in running the game itself, then football really is in trouble… Who is going to be on the FA board? Allan Carr? Lenny Henry? Caitlin cunting Moran? (Oh, and Sol Campbell of course)… Political correctness has damaged enough of Blighty as it is… If it takes over our football then we are fucked…

  6. Need to throw my pennies worth in on all these cunts. How the fuck any cunt could find Miranda Hart funny is beyond me. I find suicide bombing’s in the middle East by Islamic State funnier than this lanky streak of shit smear excrement. And as for a majority of the above mentioned lowlife scumbags, I’ve got more talent in my toenail than all these cunt’s put together. What u need to become a national treasure today is beyond me. And as for 95 per cent of today’s so-called ‘celebratie’s, give me fucking peace. The biggest bunch of untalented cunt’s I’ve ever seen in my god forsaken miserable life to date. CUUUUNNNNTTTTSSSS😖😣😴

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