A what the fuck is wrong with you, cunting for some degenerate, virtue signalling, rap star, cunt named, Akon.

First things first; any one named celebretard is a cunt. Madonna, cunt. Bono, cunt.
Beyonce, cunt. Sting, cunt. Cher, cunt. The recently cunted Banksy, cunt. Sadly, the list is endless. And sadder still is the edition of this stupid cunt known as Akon.

Aliaune Damala Badara Akon Thiam is a Senegalese/Africunt/Americunt who wants to build…wait for it…WAKONDA!

You cannot make this shit up!

Since 2018 this carpet kissing, jungle bunny has been in talks with the government of Senegal to build a modern African utopia just outside of Dakar. The goal is to make this a tourist destination for Black people from all over the world. Senegalese President, Macky Sall, has reportedly given Akon 3 square miles of land near some fucking airport for the city. Development is said to be well under way, with first phase completion sometime in 2023.

On September 1, Akon laid the utopia’s first stone and claimed new found inspiration in the tragic death of the world’s most famous actor that nobody ever heard of, Chadwick Boseman…THE Black Panther himself. Speaking at the ceremony, Akon said, “As you come from America, or Europe, or anywhere in the diaspora, and you feel like you want to visit Africa, we want Senegal to be your first stop.”

This great urban utopia will be a modern virtue signalling paradise. It will be designed by architect Hussein Bakri to resemble the fictional city of Wakonda. It will be entirely solar powered and will even have it’s own currency. Well not really. There will be no actual currency just a cryptocurrency named after it’s glorious founder…the Akoin.

Upon completion it will house 300,000 people and is expected to bring a financial boom to Senegalese tourism and indeed it’s overall economy. Which will be greatly need as the project is estimated to cost over 6 BILLION dollars.

Wait. What? Six BILLION fucking dollars! For a new utopian city, designed to bring black tourists to a 3rd world shit hole, that ranks 127th out of 150 on the Human Development Index. Are you fucking out of your mind? What the fuck are you thinking?

Six BILLION dollars? As of 2018 Senegal was $14,500,000 in debt that it couldn’t repay and was applying for loan relief from the IMF? Where in the fuck are they getting 6 BILLION dollars to build fucking Wakonda?

Do they have any idea of the real good they could do with that money? For 6 BILLION dollars they could line that famous puddle with mud bricks and run a bamboo pipeline directly to M’Tembe’s fly infested, dung covered hut. He’d never have to walk over there again. For Mohammed’s sake, they could even weave a mesh of palm leaves and filter out the Rhino piss. What the fuck are these cunts thinking?

One other point needs to be made here about this cunt Akon. In April of 2007, he performed a simulated sex act with a 15 year old girl at a concert in Trinidad and Tobago. The act was filmed and uploaded to the internet. It was also shown on local TV…CCN TV 6. The video was condemned by several Fox News personalities and removed from YouTube but reports say it was subsequently restored.

Most virtue signalling celebretatds are stupid cunts. But this degenerate Akon is a special kind of stupid cunt.

Nominated by: General Cuntster (Deceased)

We can all do with a bit of light relief in these trying times, so hats off to the good burghers of the Shetland Islands for giving it to us, via a real poke in the eye for those twats in the SNP.

Shetlanders, who have never been keen on the notion of Scottish independence from the UK, seem to be increasingly frustrated by the attitude of the Holyrood parliament.

Concerned at what they see as the ‘hoarding of power and money’* by Holyrood, and cuts in funding to the islands, councillors in Lerwick have voted overwhelmingly to pursue self-determination.

Apparently this would effectively involve becoming a self-governing Crown dependency along the lines of Jersey and the Isle of Man, thereby remaining part of the UK whatever the future governance of Scotland turns out to be.

Oh the delicious irony of it. It’s audacious and hilarious. So come on Wee Jimmy Krankie, let’s hear the SNP’s position on this. After all, you and your Westminster mouthpiece Ian ‘Bloater’ Blackford do nothing but bleat on incessantly about how ‘the democratic aspirations of people must be met’. Why aren’t you endorsing the Shetlanders’ call for a referendum on the proposal?. Perhaps you’re troubled by the paradox of how you can keep Scotland together whilst trying your utmost to tear it out of the UK?. Who’s next, the Orkney Islands, perhaps?

Mmm, silence has been the deafening reply so far… go on Krankie, put that in your bagpipes and fucking smoke it.

* approximate translation into English; ‘it’s Shetland’s fookin’ oil!’.

Nominated by: Ron Knee 

Once a-fucking-gain.

Since the advent of the Kung Flu, folk around the world have been in various varieties of lockdown, and The Guardian has been releasing a steady stream of articles along the lines of ‘how I gave up drinking in lockdown’, and ‘how lockdown taught me I didn’t really enjoy alcohol’ blah blah blah you get the idea, and just in case you don’t, the killjoy miserablist New Puritans of The Guardian are not-so-subtly spelling it out: you should give up the booze.

If I were of a nasty suspicious turn of mind, I would imagine that they were perusing this argument so that we can all the better accommodate a certain non-drinking religion of peace, but as a man who enjoys a good bourbon it doesn’t really matter to me why they want what they want, because they can get to fuck, and once they get there, they can fuck off all over again.

Nominated by: Chimp Licker 

Time to nominate yet another curtain twitching prick. I’ve probably mentioned before that the family QDM live on a street with just five other houses on it. It’s a nice street. It’s a quiet street. And most of us are friends. Excluding this year, we’ve had a street party for VE and VJ days, took it in turns hosting barbies, it’s been great. But a couple of years ago, a couple who I would say are in their sixties moved onto the street and quickly became known as “Les Miserables”. They think the fact they own a house here, means that they own the street. Literally.

The day after they moved in, the rest of us received a printed letter. It contained, a short, initial introduction and then a list of things they would not tolerate. They didn’t want schoolgirls or young women walking past their house in mini skirts (which prompted one male neighbour to buy a mini skirt and a crop top and walk up and down in front of their house for an hour, while flicking the V’s. Not a pretty sight, but fucking hilarious. They didn’t want the smell of barbecues getting in their house. They didn’t want to see people talking on the PUBLIC pavement outside their house. They didn’t want to hear music played loudly, or to hear parties. Basically, their nickname is well earned.

Those of us who have daughters have received letters of complaint, because said daughters dared to exercise their freedom to choose what clothes they wear. We’ve had solicitors letters, threatening legal action because they got the smell of barbecues in their house and could hear parties (all the parties were indoors, so unless they were spying on us, there’s no way they could have heard. Basically, they’re the biggest pains in the arse, ever. And those are only a small number of examples. The’ve even called police when we had our last street party. Unfortunately for them, the council were informed and approved it. We’re Cul-de Sac, so we weren’t disrupting traffic.

Well today Thursday 10th September they excelled themselves for cuntishness. This morning, we all came down to find printed letters stating that if we seen breaking the new Flu Manchu restrictions by meeting in groups of more than six, we will be reported to the police. I’ve just sent the one that was in our post box with my own addition, “shove it up your ass, you nosey cunts”. I’m told other neighbours have done similar. This is why I’m against the so called ‘Covid Marshalls’. You can guarantee that they’ll be cut from the same cloth as Les Miserables.

What is it with people like this? Are their lives so devoid of fun and happiness that they have to try to spoil other people’s fun? Cunts

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

A greedy Fat Cat, I’ve had all the cream, cunting for British Airways ‘Boss’ Willie Walsh.

While coronavirus has grounded most planes & passenger numbers fell by 98%, BA’s finances are in freefall. Thousands of pilots, crew & ground staff are being sacked or forced to take substantial pay cuts.

Walsh, meanwhile is taking a £833,000 annual ‘bonus’ which brings his 2019 BA salary to an eye watering £3.2 Million.

During his last 9 years in charge, he has pocketed £33 Million in salary & bonuses.

His parting gift to his disgruntled employees is to axe 12,000 staff, and to impose new contracts on those that remain, that include a clause where BA can ask staff to stay at home for indefinite periods, unpaid, if the airline deems it so. Sounds like a fancy way of putting all the staff on Zero Hour contracts to me.

What a massive Cunt !

Nominated by: Lord of the Rings