Justin Bieber.

This piss in a bucket, puke live on stage jumped up short arsed cunt has challenged Tom equally short arse Cruise to a fight.

What the fuck. I don’t give a toss about the outcome, they are both cunts but come on. Cruise is 31 years older than him. Why hasn’t the wank stain Bieber challenged Mike Tyson or Dwayne Johnson?

I know why….It’s because he is a cunt.

I’m thinking of offering Ken Barlow out as he’s 31 year older than me.

Nominated by Halloween Cunthook

Stormzy’s stab vest.

I’m sure one of you cunts will cunt this cunt and his vest far more eloquently than I.

I had the misfortune of catching a minute or two of this cunt shouting to a bunch of white middle class kids acting like they’re from the Myatts Field estate.

Stormzy is also giving it the biggun’ that he is the second youngest male solo headliner of Glastonbury. Thereby insinuating that he is in mentioning in the same breath as the thin white duke.

Nominated by Mecha-Rigsby

Stormz might well be the first black British rap artist to headline Glastonbury but as statistics go, it’s about as meaningless as his music.

Face it sonny – when you’re as full of shit as you then it’s hardly surprising that the stuff you call music is shit too.

Sheryl Crow was fucking outstanding. Real music well played. Not bad for a bird on my Deadpool suffering from cancer.

Fuck me, even I’m better than Stormz! ?

Nominated by ChasCMusic

A cunting for Brighton is needed.

My dad used to work there in the 90s and said it was a shithole full of druggies and dossers. It seemed to improve in the noughties, but in recent years become mired in the grip of another strain of eternal fuck-ups; the insufferable bourgeois London wankers. Apologies to any sensible residents wrapped up in this mess but you will probably understand my hatred of this Safari park for SJW freaks, screeching feminazis, deranged vegan ‘mermaids’, vaping top-knotted manginas and male feminists, genderless faerie folk and dragonkin, middle-class students called Arabella and Hermione wearing hijabs because it looks ‘totally ethnic and empowers me against the white western patriarchy yah?’, hipster twats, Greta Thunberg-worshipping green cultists and all of them terminal sufferers of TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome).
The old queens and twinks that have given Brighton its old reputation are entirely respectable and decent in relative terms. Nowadays this dump with what I’m told is a ‘happening, youthful vibe’ is rammed with cunts who work in London and elected Caroline Lucas of the Watermelon Cult. They’ve erected a phallic monstrosity – the threesixty- as a tourist attraction that is struggling to make money, because the local council overestimate the pull their crap little town has on tourists, and it looks like a concrete cock as well as been broken down half the fucking year.

Those visiting will only be able to bask in the sunshine for about 4 months of the year, but the air is thick with liberal smugness year-round, and local bars serve an unending stream of sour remainer tears.

It’s worth remembering that the more ‘challenged’ residents wanted Brighton to cut itself off from the rest of the UK and remain in the EU. Needing a passport to visit Lewes or Worthing to ask their relatives for another loan to pay rent while pretending to run a microbrewery/vegan cafe or break into the art scene as a filmmaker/singer-songwriter/the new Banksy didn’t seem to phase them.

There may well be cities and towns full of idiotic cunts, but few so afflicted by the Dunning-Kruger effect as Brighton.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

Commercial Radio Advertising … Faux Accents ..

I tend to flick between Radio 2 and LBC depending on which presenter is on air. Since Chris Evans disappeared from Radio 2, it’s been slightly more tolerable except for Saturday turning into a ‘gayfest’ of presenters … So LBC gets quite a bit of listening .. in the background.
I understand commercial radio is just that and gets it’s revenues from advertising, and it’s the adverts that are starting to really boil my piss.
There’s currently a Volvo advert, voiced over by some tart with a faux Scandi. accent similar to the ‘climate change upstart’ who is currently the darling of the Greens.
There’s a Renault advert, voiced over by some woman in a faux French accent akin to a tart from ‘Allo ‘Allo…
Now, there’s an advert for some Ibuprofane / Asprin shit, voiced by some bloke in a Transylvanian accent sounding more like Frau Blucher … but hey, it’s a ‘reassuring / knowing’ medical professional voice ….

Fuck Off … if you really want to get my back up and make me never want to buy your product … then patronise me with this infantile shite. Yes, I can turn it off … but I didn’t buy a radio to sit on a shelf and do fuck all.

Speak clear factual English you Cunts ….

Nominated by Boilsmypiss

If this doesn’t get me killed, banished from the western world (in fact, actually, all the world …. except China or Russia maybe), or banned from my favourite indulgence (and indeed crucial therapy) ISAC, then I don’t know what will….

They want to ask about “islamophobia”.
I say to you, I’m not “phobic”, I just don’t trust you…

You may ask why.

Well, I’ll be honest.

In all known Muslim countries women are treated like second class citizens. They’re oppressed, belittled, forced to marry ugly, smelly cunts that they don’t fancy, and raped and stoned just because …. well, you’re a man and if you feel like it, you can.
That goes against my values and morals.

But that’s not the reason I don’t trust you.

Gays are a normal (ish ?) thing. I’ve met loads. Some were cunts, and some were ok. Just like everyone else.
Although I can’t understand how a man (or anyone else for that matter) would like cock, they have the right to live. They have the same right to enjoy life and be free as everyone else.
But in Muslim countries it’s illegal. They’re persecuted (jokes doesn’t count as persecution by the way), REAL persecution, they’re even killed in some countries.
Many Muslims in the West agree with this doctrine. I don’t.

But that’s not why I don’t trust you either.

Your countries (and many “British” muslims) HATE Jews. Now I’ve only met a few Jews so I can’t comment on them as a race, but from what I’ve gathered, they’re pretty much just the same as everyone else.
Some are cunts.
Some are great.
And the rest just wanna live their lives in peace and be left alone by cunts like you.
For some reason though, you will insist on wanting them murdered. *sigh*

Even that’s not the reason I don’t trust you.

Islamic terrorism kills hundreds of thousands of innocent people every year. Not soldiers. Not police. INNOCENT men women and children are butchered, intentionally, on a daily basis by islamic terrorists.

Even THAT’S not why I don’t trust you.

The entire media and political establishment sycophantically fawn over your every move. They suck up to you like a whipped dog whining to its master.
It’s embarrassing and pathetic.
Especially when the police are involved…. so called “impartial enforcers or the law” sucking up, sucking up, sucking up…
Your religion stands for every value that they claim to be against.
Yet they still protect you.
You are a … sorry … THE … protected class.

That’s not the reason I don’t trust you.

Tens of thousands of vulnerable children were targeted, groomed, beaten, intimidated and raped. Sometimes by as many as 10 “men” at a time. They believe that their religion gives them the right to do whatever they want, regardless of the pain, hurt and torment that it causes others.
It’s still going on now.
And there are the countless vulnerable victims that were deliberately hooked onto heroin just so that they could be used as prostitutes and trafficked around the country.
I’m sure many Muslims are appalled by this behaviour, and although it came from your community, I don’t hold you all to blame.

I’m pissed off with you, but that’s not why I don’t trust you.

There is a certain man that lived a long time ago. I won’t mention his name for fear of getting my beloved ISAC into trouble.
Let’s just call him “aherm, aherm, moh aherm” .. ed”
He was a worse human being than hitler.

He raped.
He murdered.
He conquered.
He enslaved.
He tortured.
He massacred innocent people.
He stole.
He lied.
He raped children.

You idolize and worship him…
You proclaim him as the PERFECT human being. A man your ideology states that you should look up to and emulate.

THAT IS WHY I DON’T FUCKING TRUST YOU.

How many of you name your kid moha….*agerm* *aherm* (sorry, close one there) ….
You name your kid after a murdering, anti Semite rapist and then ask why he might get bullied?
If someone named their kid hitler, do you think the cunt would get bullied? Of course he fucking would. Good.

You call me “phobic”, …an irrational fear….
I’m not scared of you.
I’d defend any of the above …. women, gays, Jews, whatever, from your oppression, persecution and your murderous rage, with my life if need be.

…doesn’t sound very “phobic” to me.

I’m just being honest. Since you seem so desperate to find out about “islamophobia”, I thought I’d just give you the truth.

Anyway, I’m buying a Russian phrase book and changing my name to volobtkin or whateverthefuck and getting the fuck out here before ….

Well….

It’s the religion of peace isn’t it …. ?

Nominated by Deploy the sausage