Harry Styles
I’ve long had the suspicion that the One Direction ‘star’ may, in fact, be a bit of a fanny. His recent appearance at the Metropolitan Museum of Arts Costume Gala, described as ‘one of the most exclusive events in New York’s social calendar’, has done nothing to alter this view.
Granted, the theme of the gala was ‘camp’, but as the sage Piers Morgan has since observed, there’s camp, and there’s ridiculous. The lad minced up in a  black lace ensemble, with a see through blouse top which apparently delighted fans by offering *gasp* a glimpse of nipple. He rounded the whole thing off by wearing a huge black ruffle, high heels, and a single pearl earring. In short, a perfect demonstration of how to make yourself look like a total cunt in one easy lesson, the tart.
As for some of the other clowns attending this ludicrously self-indulgent wankfest, well don’t get me started on the catastrophes that the likes of Lady Gaga and Kim Kardashian were disporting themselves in. Fellow cunters in search of a good belly laugh are advised to track down coverage of the event. Does anyone happen to know what the collective noun applying to a group of cunts is?

Nominated by Ron Knee

Eurovision…. cunt of an idea.
Once again it’s time for mincing faggot “celebrities “ that I’ve never heard of to eulogise about the wankfest that is Eurovision . What a waste of fucking time and effort this piece of shit is. And the winner is…… some tuneless twat from a shithole country.
What sort of brainless twat has any interest in this cuntery ?

Nominated by Jimmy the Spaz

The Eurovision Song Contest.
I hardly need to cunt this cuntfest, but I don’t see why it should escape.
Talentless morons screeching a cacophony at us for what seems a lifetime, and since when was Australia in Europe? They should have done all their countrymen a favour and stayed as far away from it as their country already is.
The only thing in recent times I liked about this debacle was Terry Wogan truthfully taking the piss out of this hopeless bunch of arseholes.

Nominated by Duke of Cuntshire

Idiot Australians in the fucking Eurovision Song Contest.

Last time I looked Europe is fucking bounded by the Mediterranean Sea, the Urals, mount Elbrus and the mid At-fucking-lantic divergence plate.

So what fuck are those cum gargling Australians from the roaring forty antipodes doing in the Euro-fucking-vision song-fucking-contest?

Since the end of the white orstraya policy and the explosion of diversitee they’re not even remotely ethnically Eurovision either. They should stick to sandpapering their balls. At least they are meant to be in The Ashes even if they fuck it up by cheating and bawling on the TV like 8-Ace’s brayed bairns.

And it’s not as if the Eurovision is quality stuff, just let those pissant countries like Slovenia and Moravia have a bit of cheesy fun without big-arse too-loud blonde entitled kardashian actalikes caterwauling in and shitting all over everything.

I mean just farrrkkkk offf cuntssss

Nominated by Three Strokes

The phrase “please don’t take this personally but”

I would like to cunt this much used phrase, often the friend of many IsAC posters. Now, I must admit this is also a bit of an auto-cunting as I am guilty of using it myself on occasions but I regard myself as more sinned against than sinner.
Typically, you might hear it used as in :-
“Please don’t take this personally but your mother is a whore”. OR
“Please don’t take this personally but your wife is absolutely mingin'”. OR
“Please don’t take this personally but homosexuals should be put to the sword( when addressing an arse bandit)

You lying, dishonest, deceitful, dissembling, double-dealing cunters. Your intention is to be as personal as you can possibly be. That’s why you’re using it, to create the maximum chaos and effect as if rubbing shit in to someones face.
I propose that IsAC bans the use of this phrase immediately so as not to offend the sensitivities of the more nervous posters like myself. Please don’t take this personally but you’re all a damn disgrace.

Nominated by Bluntspeakingcunt

Snooker Commentators and Presenters

If the avatar didn’t give it away, I do like me snooker (as well as happening to resemble, from the right angle, a certain Mr. O’Sullivan’). It’s not for everyone mind you; it is of course only tenuously considered as a ‘sport’, and matches can indeed be dull as fuck.

But to a man, all the ex-pro snooker commentators, presenters and comperes are cunts. A precis here on each, thereby allowing me to cunt a number of fuckers under a single nomination, like the cheating bastard I am:

John Virgo (BBC)
This stiff-necked, hunchbacked cunt should have been put to pasture when Jim Davidson went bankrupt. The champion of dull, dry, obvious statements, the cunt has now been reduced to orgasmically screeching “Where’s the cue ball going”, even as it gently bounces off the baulk cushion.

Willie Thorne (BBC)
An otherwise forgettable cunt only notable for slightly resembling John Merrick and having a bald head for his entire existence.

Rob Walker
This lanky streak of piss is the cunt who introduces the players during big tournaments, and interviews them post-match too. An over-enthusiastic cunt who resembles a cross between Bez and that scary bloke from Stereo MCs, this craggy-faced fucker’s paper-round must have been in fucking Mordor.

Peter Ebdon (BBC)
Nicknamed ‘Psycho’, there genuinely isn’t a strait-jacket tight enough for this bug-eyed autistic champion of fucking boredom. When the match on the table next to his is long done and dusted, Ebdon can be found still fucking chalking up to break off the first frame – his eternally slow play is suspected to be responsible for at least one of Ronnie’s mental breakdowns. A vegan to boot, the cunt.

Joe Johnson (Eurosport)
Legitimately makes more noise breathing into the mic than he does talking.

Colin Murray (Eurosport)
Strictly this cunt isn’t a commentator but a presenter for the bigger events, and is probably the only one on the list seriously worthy of his own nomination. This fucking cunt I believe also does Talksport and the odd BBC event which conflicts with Clare Balding’s trout fishing schedule. It’s bad enough that the cunt has an unbearable Belfast accent and Groucho cunting Marx eyebrows, but the enforced banter he foists upon his co-pundits is just excruciating to watch. As Murray uncontrollably laughs at another of his own jokes, you can just tell that Jimmy White wants to beat the fucker to death with the butt of his 2-piece maple cue.

Steve Davis (BBC)
This fucking cunt has had some kind of extended mid-life crisis for the last five years. When ‘The Nugget’ (also nicknamed ‘Interesting’, ‘Mr Snooker’ and ‘Cunt’) isn’t so far up Barry Hearn’s backside that he can literally speak the words out of Barry’s mouth, he is otherwise cultivating a bizarre personality as a DJ, promoting all kinds of experimental German industrialist turntablist wank. The fucking cunt seems to be oblivious to how ridiculous he looks and worse still, he’s showing the tell-tale early symptoms of the BBC SJW disease.

Some say Alex Higgins was unfortunate to die starving, penniless and frail. I personally think he had a lucky escape judging by how cuntish most of his peers became.

Snooker loopy? Cunt off.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Can I add Stephen Hendry who sounds as judgemental, steely, unforgiving and intolerant as a virginal Calvanistic lay preacher, with piles, forever saying “that was an unforgivable mistake” and implies nobody is as good as he is. The self important old cunt seems to forget his last professional TV match was piss-poor, full of mistakes and mis-cues. Judge not, brother Stephen, lest thee be judged thyself, but once you become shit at the sport on the BBC you just move over to commentating and studying Hazel Irvine’s tits, jammy bleeder.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs