A cunting for Brighton is needed.

My dad used to work there in the 90s and said it was a shithole full of druggies and dossers. It seemed to improve in the noughties, but in recent years become mired in the grip of another strain of eternal fuck-ups; the insufferable bourgeois London wankers. Apologies to any sensible residents wrapped up in this mess but you will probably understand my hatred of this Safari park for SJW freaks, screeching feminazis, deranged vegan ‘mermaids’, vaping top-knotted manginas and male feminists, genderless faerie folk and dragonkin, middle-class students called Arabella and Hermione wearing hijabs because it looks ‘totally ethnic and empowers me against the white western patriarchy yah?’, hipster twats, Greta Thunberg-worshipping green cultists and all of them terminal sufferers of TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome).
The old queens and twinks that have given Brighton its old reputation are entirely respectable and decent in relative terms. Nowadays this dump with what I’m told is a ‘happening, youthful vibe’ is rammed with cunts who work in London and elected Caroline Lucas of the Watermelon Cult. They’ve erected a phallic monstrosity – the threesixty- as a tourist attraction that is struggling to make money, because the local council overestimate the pull their crap little town has on tourists, and it looks like a concrete cock as well as been broken down half the fucking year.

Those visiting will only be able to bask in the sunshine for about 4 months of the year, but the air is thick with liberal smugness year-round, and local bars serve an unending stream of sour remainer tears.

It’s worth remembering that the more ‘challenged’ residents wanted Brighton to cut itself off from the rest of the UK and remain in the EU. Needing a passport to visit Lewes or Worthing to ask their relatives for another loan to pay rent while pretending to run a microbrewery/vegan cafe or break into the art scene as a filmmaker/singer-songwriter/the new Banksy didn’t seem to phase them.

There may well be cities and towns full of idiotic cunts, but few so afflicted by the Dunning-Kruger effect as Brighton.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

Commercial Radio Advertising … Faux Accents ..

I tend to flick between Radio 2 and LBC depending on which presenter is on air. Since Chris Evans disappeared from Radio 2, it’s been slightly more tolerable except for Saturday turning into a ‘gayfest’ of presenters … So LBC gets quite a bit of listening .. in the background.
I understand commercial radio is just that and gets it’s revenues from advertising, and it’s the adverts that are starting to really boil my piss.
There’s currently a Volvo advert, voiced over by some tart with a faux Scandi. accent similar to the ‘climate change upstart’ who is currently the darling of the Greens.
There’s a Renault advert, voiced over by some woman in a faux French accent akin to a tart from ‘Allo ‘Allo…
Now, there’s an advert for some Ibuprofane / Asprin shit, voiced by some bloke in a Transylvanian accent sounding more like Frau Blucher … but hey, it’s a ‘reassuring / knowing’ medical professional voice ….

Fuck Off … if you really want to get my back up and make me never want to buy your product … then patronise me with this infantile shite. Yes, I can turn it off … but I didn’t buy a radio to sit on a shelf and do fuck all.

Speak clear factual English you Cunts ….

Nominated by Boilsmypiss

If this doesn’t get me killed, banished from the western world (in fact, actually, all the world …. except China or Russia maybe), or banned from my favourite indulgence (and indeed crucial therapy) ISAC, then I don’t know what will….

They want to ask about “islamophobia”.
I say to you, I’m not “phobic”, I just don’t trust you…

You may ask why.

Well, I’ll be honest.

In all known Muslim countries women are treated like second class citizens. They’re oppressed, belittled, forced to marry ugly, smelly cunts that they don’t fancy, and raped and stoned just because …. well, you’re a man and if you feel like it, you can.
That goes against my values and morals.

But that’s not the reason I don’t trust you.

Gays are a normal (ish ?) thing. I’ve met loads. Some were cunts, and some were ok. Just like everyone else.
Although I can’t understand how a man (or anyone else for that matter) would like cock, they have the right to live. They have the same right to enjoy life and be free as everyone else.
But in Muslim countries it’s illegal. They’re persecuted (jokes doesn’t count as persecution by the way), REAL persecution, they’re even killed in some countries.
Many Muslims in the West agree with this doctrine. I don’t.

But that’s not why I don’t trust you either.

Your countries (and many “British” muslims) HATE Jews. Now I’ve only met a few Jews so I can’t comment on them as a race, but from what I’ve gathered, they’re pretty much just the same as everyone else.
Some are cunts.
Some are great.
And the rest just wanna live their lives in peace and be left alone by cunts like you.
For some reason though, you will insist on wanting them murdered. *sigh*

Even that’s not the reason I don’t trust you.

Islamic terrorism kills hundreds of thousands of innocent people every year. Not soldiers. Not police. INNOCENT men women and children are butchered, intentionally, on a daily basis by islamic terrorists.

Even THAT’S not why I don’t trust you.

The entire media and political establishment sycophantically fawn over your every move. They suck up to you like a whipped dog whining to its master.
It’s embarrassing and pathetic.
Especially when the police are involved…. so called “impartial enforcers or the law” sucking up, sucking up, sucking up…
Your religion stands for every value that they claim to be against.
Yet they still protect you.
You are a … sorry … THE … protected class.

That’s not the reason I don’t trust you.

Tens of thousands of vulnerable children were targeted, groomed, beaten, intimidated and raped. Sometimes by as many as 10 “men” at a time. They believe that their religion gives them the right to do whatever they want, regardless of the pain, hurt and torment that it causes others.
It’s still going on now.
And there are the countless vulnerable victims that were deliberately hooked onto heroin just so that they could be used as prostitutes and trafficked around the country.
I’m sure many Muslims are appalled by this behaviour, and although it came from your community, I don’t hold you all to blame.

I’m pissed off with you, but that’s not why I don’t trust you.

There is a certain man that lived a long time ago. I won’t mention his name for fear of getting my beloved ISAC into trouble.
Let’s just call him “aherm, aherm, moh aherm” .. ed”
He was a worse human being than hitler.

He raped.
He murdered.
He conquered.
He enslaved.
He tortured.
He massacred innocent people.
He stole.
He lied.
He raped children.

You idolize and worship him…
You proclaim him as the PERFECT human being. A man your ideology states that you should look up to and emulate.

THAT IS WHY I DON’T FUCKING TRUST YOU.

How many of you name your kid moha….*agerm* *aherm* (sorry, close one there) ….
You name your kid after a murdering, anti Semite rapist and then ask why he might get bullied?
If someone named their kid hitler, do you think the cunt would get bullied? Of course he fucking would. Good.

You call me “phobic”, …an irrational fear….
I’m not scared of you.
I’d defend any of the above …. women, gays, Jews, whatever, from your oppression, persecution and your murderous rage, with my life if need be.

…doesn’t sound very “phobic” to me.

I’m just being honest. Since you seem so desperate to find out about “islamophobia”, I thought I’d just give you the truth.

Anyway, I’m buying a Russian phrase book and changing my name to volobtkin or whateverthefuck and getting the fuck out here before ….

Well….

It’s the religion of peace isn’t it …. ?

Nominated by Deploy the sausage

I’d like to nominate ‘woke’ friends.

People you could once count on for a laugh or common sense who have since turned unto virtue signalling male feminist types since college and seem to spend more time sliming around gullible middle-class students and refuse to grow up and maintain friends with adults in work.
Perhaps it’s the desire to be seen as older and wiser by college students, but they just turn into hipster cunts in the eyes of anyone over 35. This is a common phenomenon with teachers and others who work with teenagers and undergraduates; the tragic desire to keep dying their hair and go drinking in student bars/pubs/clubs so they can get the latest left wing opinion from half-wits.
They might join you in mocking the SJWs in your company, but a quick look at the flakebook profile gives the game away; the hipster/boho cunt photo, Refugees welcome, Diversity is our Strength, feminist ally, save the planet and all sorts of signs of Trump Derangement Syndrome, as well as as scores of blue haired and top-knot wearing window licking vegans wearing glasses and po-faced, anal retentive expressions in their own profiles,as if to say ‘I have a BA from De Montfort and you should take my opinions as fact’.

They will eventually distance themselves from the adult rational world and ‘call you out for your shitty opinions’ because they are disgusted and embarrassed by your sexism/racism/bigotry, all of which they have inferred from your support of a diverse range of views from people of all creeds and genders who won’t fall into line with the BBC/Huffpost/Twitterati worldview.

They are all ‘shitty people’ and your woke friend would be embarrassed to introduce you his little Japanese-American student friend, a mermaid goth Lolita who is taking feminist philosophy and also tried taking her own life.

‘I’m sure I’d be missing out, particulary the seppoku part.’

Blocked.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

An emergency cunting for BBC Radio 4. The production team of the Today program have excelled themselves in their right-on head-up-their-arses broadcast this morning.

On the day before the 75th anniversary of the D Day landings, Martha Kearney was, this morning, broadcasting from Portsmouth. You knew things weren’t going to go well when she made reference to a “WW2 Landrover” and then proceeded to tour HMS Queen Elizabeth getting Navy nomenclature and command appointments all wrong.

Then it was Thought for the Day when some female haltingly described the hardship of getting through Ramadan.

Finally, to make my piss vaporise, some millennial snowflake cunt was given a five minute slot to talk about self-harming caused, not by the terror of storming a defended beach, but her dislike of her own body image. Boo hoo.

It’s no wonder John Humphrys is retiring – how can this old timer compete against broadcasters of such quality?

Nominated by Sgt Maj Cunt