Incels are cunts.

This moronic, pathetic subculture of self-appointed ‘nice guys’ moaning that women should give them a chance and wank them off, expecting some beautiful blonde with 34G tits to fall onto their spunk-encrusted Harry Potter duvet, surrounded by jugs of piss and Transformer toys, and just ‘love them for who they are.’

They are the mirror of the frustrated feminist, who displays her ‘male tears’ mug on social media, but who you know cries herself to sleep after an evening of Haagen Das, Pinot Grigio and a cucumber covered in baby lotion.

You probably know I’m not a feminist, but these ‘men’ blame women for their personal failings, their awkwardness. Rather than trying to look after their appearance, they whine about ‘chads’ and ‘staceys’ in their little communities of self-pity, convincing themselves they are ugly and worthless. They don’t have jobs, preferring to play World of Warcraft and watching anime, doting on cartoon Japanese Lolitas who they imagine they could marry.

Sometimes the disillusionment and infantilism becomes a hatred towards anyone who has a sexual relationship, leading to grisly manifestos about torturing the sexually successful, ‘inflicting pain on the attractive people for denying them the carnal pleasure they are entitled to’, warped megalomaniacal rants via basement tapes and, ultimately, shootings.

These fuck-ups have grown up in a society that punishes the values that could help them, which is the fault of successive governments in adopting policies that undermine the family and men’s roles in society. However, this is not an excuse to avoid responsibility and while many come to resent women, others become snivelling male feminists in some vain hope they’ll get a shag. The problem is that simply sitting on a computer saying ‘I’m a nice guy’ or I’m a male feminist’ while looking like a pimpled compost bag of rice pudding isn’t enough.

These cunts may need to put down their game controller and leave the house and make the effort to not look like vast invertebrates who cry all the time.

They may also find their habits of adressing women as ‘m’lady’, their grandiosity, and fawning and dribbling is not very attractive, and just because they compliment a woman, it doesn’t mean they’ll jump into bed with you. The fact they resort to calling women ‘whores’ and ‘thots’ at the slightest hint of rejection doesn’t help their case. Personality, as well as looks, need working on. It seems that is too much to ask.

Also, the creepiest, most pathetic aspect might be their desire for the government to provide women for them to fondle with their Dorito-stained, man-child fingers. Given their predilection for Japanese schoolgirls, I don’t think it’s a very good idea.

I knew a person who didn’t blame Incels for their resentment. Although he too was a jobless man-child in his late thirties who spent his days playing computer games. He also posted videos about ‘how to respond to being told to ‘man up”. Clearly he got told that quite often.

Incels, much like blue-haired feminist loons, they are crybaby cunts who blame society for personal failures.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

Kevin Maguire (5)

One half orf the press preview team orn Sky News alongside the Daily Mail’s arse assassin Andrew Pierce (Consultant Editor, Daily Mail). Maguire (Associate Editor, Daily Mirror) is the big nosed supercilious professional Geordie lefty wind bag cunt who spends his time sneering at things Tory and talking over wee camp Andy and his dodgy short dyed barnet. Pierce is a deeply unpleasant Mail hack specialising in knife in the back jobs yet Maguire manages to make him appear the voice of reason.

Press previews are a profoundly irritating yank import now infecting many of the news programmes. Press journalists basking in a spot orf one-upmanship on telly pretentiously rabbit on thus joining a buggers conger line where TV feeds the press and the press feeds TV. To make it all the more incestuous the “News” all originates from the same news agencies, Reuters ect ect. Bugger me but I don’t think me old arse hole is big enough to take all that cock.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke (Editor Emeritus, Cunt Sniffers Times)

London, arsehole of the UK

What is the matter with these childish fuckers:-

‘Thousands of protesters have taken to the streets of central London in a march against Brexit and Conservative Party leadership hopeful Boris Johnson.’

They even have another fucking blimp, this time of Boris.

Fucking London again. The arsehole of the UK. None of these cunts have a fucking clue about life outside of their hipster, craft, artisan, Waitrose socialist shithole.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

What the fuck is the matter with people these days? Poor old Boris hasn’t even got the job yet and there’s a protest march to force him out.

The march in Londonstan (where else) was adressed by no other than Shola Mos-Shogbamimu, Femi Oluwole and Shahmir Sanni – all good old fashioned English names.

To them I echo what Trump said : if you hate our country and our democracy so much, feel free to fuck off and live somewhere more to your liking.

As you seem to love tbe Fourth Reich so much why not go live there? I’m sure they’ll make you welcome…

Nominated by Dioclese

Quiz Show Contestants

I enjoy 15 to 1 on Channel 4. Sandy Toksvig doing her English Country Gentleman act rather spoils it,but I’m prepared to put up with it nevertheless.

It’s the contestants that Fuck me off.

The genuinely stupid contestant…obviously the victim of a prank,they have been convinced to go on a General Knowledge quiz by “friends” only too aware that they have no General Knowledge. It’s a mystery to me how they even manage to dress themselves,never mind answer increasingly difficult questions on varied subjects.

The Wacky contestant…usually a middle aged man,bald at the front but pony-tail at the back,dressed in an Hawaiian shirt who announces that he is an “entertainer”. Persuaded by friends and family to enter just so that they get a day off from the terminal bore.

The Chavvy Secretary contestant…a bright orange,pumped lips vision of cheapness. Can’t answer any questions unless they involve Love Island or Beyonce,squeals and claps her hands if she’s lucky enough to receive such a question.

The smug retired teacher….gives an almost contemptuous look and snort when giving the answer to a question that he knows. Wrinkles his nose,says “Not really my line of expertise” when asked something that doesn’t fall within the syllabus of 5th Form Geography/ History.

The frustrated spinster/librarian…..a dangerous contestant due to the fact that her sheer lack of allure means that she has had no distractions in her life. A lifetime spent reading “the classics” while secretly dampening her gusset at the thought of Mr. Darcy violating her dusty old fanny.

The Mr. Gupta from the corner shop….doesn’t really understand the questions but grins amiably and hopes that his appearance will convince The Border Agency that he is a true-blue Englishman and not deport him.

The full-time Mum….can’t wait to get on Mumsnet and tell the girls about just how much of a fulfilling life she enjoys…she’s not stagnating,”Oh no,just look, I’m on a quiz show”…another semi-dangerous contestant because she has nothing to do all day bar watch quiz shows and spend the child benefit of cheap boxed wine.

The Gay contestant….overly groomed and well dressed,screams with girlish glee at every one of witticisms from Sandy,he is probably there in the hope that Mr. Toksvig,or some other Media-type will strap on their 15 inch truncheon and do him up the shite-trumpet before offering him a job as a prime-time chat-show host.

Interestingly,there are very few Dark Keys on General Knowledge Shows. I’m guessing that their Probation Officer won’t allow it for fear that someone gets stabbed for “dissing” them on live television.

Fuck Off.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Banshee Moon

I nominate internetshire perverts who sign up to this YouTube MILF called Banshee Moon.

I was minding my own business looking up DIY Stoves on YouTube and this old chick with a huge fake rack pops up promoting a rocket stove.

I Click on it as you would and am surprised she doesn’t burn her nipples off, quite impressed that you can watch this tidy old bird giving a bit of a review in obvious ‘titillation’ ala ‘80’s game shows.

But then I notice her website and a membership scheme from $5 to $5000 for which she gives increasing perks.

Now it sounds like at $5000 investment you get to bone this old girl but I really doubt it, so fair on her exploiting lonely/sad men willing to part with money for a pretend relationship with this ageing hag, but FFS, Sad old men paying for her plastic surgery and retirement for a signed poster of a 65 year old and a bikini pic is pissing me off because my wife doesn’t have a job.

Nominated by Captain Cuntoff