Bananarama are cunts….

In this climate of millennial revisionism this lot are now being touted as ‘legends’….
Tuneless 80s pop crap now suddenly revered? Has this country gone totally fucking mad?! On Radio 2 yesterday that cunt trombone Craig Charles was bigging them up as one of the ‘World’s greatest female bands’… Band? A band plays musical instruments, you utter cunt…. How Stock, Aitken and Waterman fodder like Bananrama (and Saint Kylie of Glastonbury) can now be seen as great popular music shows how low the cultural bar has sunk here… Anyone around in the 80s knows that they were shit… In the days of the late 80s these SAW puppet cunts were rightfully despised… Bananrama records had each voice tracked about eight times and it still sounded shite… The clueless millennial cunts now rule the media… Bad enough that mediocrity and crap is lauded in the present (Sheercunt, Swift, Adele, ‘Stormzy’ etc), but worse still that the crap from the past is now being re-labelled as great and what upcoming musicians should aspire too… What a load of bollocks…

Nominated by Norman

According to the Big Beeb the government plans to restrict new drivers from driving at night due to “safety” concerns.
I’m sorry, but what a load of bollox.

How the fuck is wee little millennial Dave supposed to do his night shift down fucking Asda, earning his piss poor living to pay for his shit working class life?
Take public transport? Then he may ask what was the fucking point of getting my fucking licence, spending potentially into the thousands to obtain the privilege!

Also how the fuck are new drivers supposed to gain confidence in driving in any condition, IF YOU BAN THEM FROM FUCKING DOING IT?! Absolutely farcical. This doesn’t seem to benefit anyone! Wait, scrub that shit… I bet our beloved insurance companies are rubbing their hands together in near ecstatic joy, as they’ll charge these poor assholes even more money due to their “inexperience”

In this process, we are also creating another make believe bogus crime for the Police force.
Sorry, Dorothy can’t come over and stop pervy Pete from robbing and buggering you…. a young driver is minding his own beeswax on his way to work. WHAT A CUNTING CRIMINAL HE IS.

Absolute bloody joke.

Nominated by Cuntoxed

Daft names are tedious, aren’t they?

Malia
Autumn
Mercedes
Chardonnay
Summer

The midwife must be as bemused as when you mistype into a search engine. “Serendipity? Did you mean Susan?”
What in fuckity were the parents imbibing?

However, it’s not just the ladies. These gentlemen haven’t rushed for the Deedpoll applications:

Keanu
Moon Unit
Barrack
Chucka

Then there are the foreign ones:
“Is there a Oisin Tadgh here?”
“Ah, to be sure, it’s pronounced Usheen Tig!”
?
What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
“Name?”
“M’tangalay Gwan-cho’ Ooga-Dooga.”
“Erm…could you spell that?”
“You ISS a ray-CIST. Am gonna amake a COM-plaint.”
“…And this huge, old woman next to you with no teeth and who must be allergic to bathing, is it your grandma?”
“Dat be my wife. Her called Serendipity.”

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous