Bananarama

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Bananarama are cunts….

In this climate of millennial revisionism this lot are now being touted as ‘legends’….
Tuneless 80s pop crap now suddenly revered? Has this country gone totally fucking mad?! On Radio 2 yesterday that cunt trombone Craig Charles was bigging them up as one of the ‘World’s greatest female bands’… Band? A band plays musical instruments, you utter cunt…. How Stock, Aitken and Waterman fodder like Bananrama (and Saint Kylie of Glastonbury) can now be seen as great popular music shows how low the cultural bar has sunk here… Anyone around in the 80s knows that they were shit… In the days of the late 80s these SAW puppet cunts were rightfully despised… Bananrama records had each voice tracked about eight times and it still sounded shite… The clueless millennial cunts now rule the media… Bad enough that mediocrity and crap is lauded in the present (Sheercunt, Swift, Adele, ‘Stormzy’ etc), but worse still that the crap from the past is now being re-labelled as great and what upcoming musicians should aspire too… What a load of bollocks…

Nominated by Norman

69 thoughts on “Bananarama”

  3. Apparently Robert De Niro loved that song and took them out on the town in New York. But their cover of Venus was shit. They took an absolute classic and turned it into student karaoke.

  4. Turned off Radio 2 and found a great local station playing music. You’ll get a whole hour of beatles you’ll get led zeppelin followed by ELP followed by the Damned followed by Bob Dylan. Ours is a community station so not even got endless shit adverts and the Dj’s are amatuers not Tony Blackburn impressionists
    Sure there are stations like this all over the country. So tune in and enjoy real music.

    • Out driving though knutsford where Blunty lives other week and was a billboard for some festival,
      Bananarama were headlining it!
      Didnt they emerge from the old 2tone band the Bodysnatchers?
      Know they were mates of Terry Hall,and sung on funboy three tune?

      • You’re getting closer Miserable!
        I’ll keep on riddling for another week or so.
        Keep a look out for more cryptic clues.

      • The games afoot!
        Okeydoke but if I get it right no cheating have to confess im a geographical detective of some renown!!
        Know what you Holmes Chapel lads are like for cheating!

  7. Worked in an off licence in north London in summer of ’85 and they lived around the corner (in three separate townhouses I think). One or other of them would drop in for a can of Redstripe occasionally. Two of them were stand-offish and arrogant…but Siobhan….she was cool. Chatted with her a few times and she was really nice, though i was never a handsome cunt, even back then. So cunt the other two cunts to your hearts content cunters, but leave off Siobhan…she’s different class!

  8. I’d have happily slipped Belinda Carlisle,Susanna Hoffs or “99 Red Ballons”,Nena a length…I never had the urge to satisfy any member of Banarama.

    * I’d have also slapped Kim Wilde a length…glad I didn’t when I see what a fat Porker she has become. She can Fuck right off.

  9. Yeah they did some dreck but Do Not Disturb, Trick Of The Night, I Want You Back, I Heard A Rumour are all top quality choons. To mention the nanas in the same breath as Sheercunt and Stormzy is cuntitude in itself, and invokes some kind of vortex in which IAC internecinely implodes.

    • I Heard A Rumour is Stock Aitken Watercunt bollocks par excellence… Any record involving SAW is a musical abomination…. I do recall the ‘Nanas’ attempting to gain some cred in the early 90s by using samples of ‘Fools Gold’ and ‘Sympathy For The Devil’ on a single… I think it was called ‘Only Your Love’ and it was shite…

      • Of the SAW menagerie I preferred Jason Donavan. I felt he had a decent voice. Rick Astley had a weird Darth Vader effect put on his voice. I dont know what was that about

        Sonia’s ‘You’ll Never Stop Me From Loving You’ is hilariously upbeat song about obsession. I can imagine Sonia hobbling her boyfriends to it.

    • The only thing I’m waiting for De Niro to do is shuffle off his mortal coil, the fashionably marxist lunatic. Lest he forget that the world can see his tiny cock in ‘1900’ where he gets wanked off on camera by a prozzie and doesn’t even pop a semi. Seems he was born it soy-hood.

      • Hmm, and Cruel Summer was about the inevitable thawing of the Cold War compelling an ignorant public to awaken to the sound of intransient capitalism, wasn’t it sisters.

        Psh. These morons could barely string a sentence together.

        Na Na Naaa Na
        Na Na NAAA Na
        Hey Hey Hey
        Get Fucked

    • Calm down Krav. It’s not our fault the peacefuls are kicking the shit out of your lot in the libtard top of the pops.

    • I’ve got a horrible feeling Justin Bieber might be too, Krav.
      ( holds phone at arms length)
      😜

    • They may have been shite, but a cunting?!

      As a kid, so so many of the 80s starlets gave me junior erections – Kim Wilde, Belinda Carlisle, Heart… and Wendy James. Holy fucking christ, Wendy James. It was like seeing an angel appear on screen whenever Transvision Vamp were on tv.

      • They are shite, and the original cunting is based more on the ridiculous revisionism that millennials now carp on about substandard 80s shite like Bananarama, Kylie or Dead Or Alive (preferably dead)…There were greats like New Order, The Smiths, pre-Mandela Simple Minds, The Associates, and the mighty Bunnymen… But now cunts would have us believe that the 80s was all manufactured and garish pop shite and that such tripe was wonderful…. A bit like knobheads in the 90s thinking the 60s was all Paisley shirts, cunts saying ‘Groovy, man!’ and kitsch bollocks like Mike Flowers Pops… Displayed definitively by that cunt Mike Myers and his Austin Powers shite…

      • Kylie is a legend and deserved the Glastonbury slot. She also put on a good show. Plus better the devil you know is a classic.

  13. Driving in every morning listening to the radio it seems that radio 2 are running a feature on Bros too (remember them Matt and Luke make me puke).
    Now they were a right bunch of twats, I doubt even Krav would fuck them.
    I note word fence is being a twat this morning.

  14. Didn’t they perform with the Bum Boy Three, or something?
    Bland stick insects…

  15. Banalarama the world’s greatest girl band!

    They were utter shite and a precursor of the manufactured bands that are now being churned out of Simon Cowel’s crap music machine.

    All girl bands and boy bands are crap.

  16. I think the same protocol as is used by the BBCunts when they have to mention Tommy Robinson, I.e “real name “ should also be adopted when mentioning Shitzy. “Here’s the latest pile of cunt from Shitzy, real name Michael Ebenazer Kwadjo Omari Owuo Jr.
    Cunts.

  17. Always baffled me why Terry Hall (and two other Specials) worked with these Bananarama cunts…I bet Jerry Dammers was laughing his head off…

  18. I heard some hyperbolictwat claim there wouldn’t be a Madonna without Bananarama – gimmie a fucking break. Do people feel it’s a wasted day unless they they shovel out their mouths half a ton of horseshit at some point?

    • Nah! Madogga was sucking and fucking her way to the ‘top’ in ‘Noo Yoik’ before the Banana lot even worked with the (ex) Specials…. ‘Madge’ has ripped off many other acts, but Bananarama ain’t one of them….

  19. I might be getting mixed up, but are they the ones who sang that song that went something like, “It was an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini…” ?
    I just remember a song about yellow bikinis and a black fella going “Ah yeah!”

    • That was Bombalurina! Fronted by that irritating uber-cunt Timmy Mallett. What a cunt he was.

  20. They are probably musical geniuses next to dross like Katy Perry and Rihanna.

    I was subjected to their limp synth-pop as a kid. A friend hit the nail on the head when he said tbey just sounded like girls in his school trying out for a routine.

    Lifeless tripe.

  21. They sounded like a bunch of school girls you hear singing at the back of a bus totally tuneless and totally talentless.

  22. Yes they were SHITE. ALL “singing” in unison and not one harmony. EVER. Weren’t they exposed as utter shite on something like The Tube due to a technical hitch? They always sounded like they’d just woken up. No effort went into those vocals. The Dido’s of the 80’s.

  23. I liked ‘Stay’. Shakespeare’s sister. There was another good one they did…can’t remember. Fahey the one with ‘class’. Psychbitch psychodrama of course.. But I like that.

    • Shakespeare’s Sister had a few hits,either side of Stay. None ever matched it though. You’re History, I Don’t Care, Hello (Turn Your Radio On) are the ones I remember. The difference between them and Bananarama was the “light and shade” mixture of Siobhan Fahey and Marcella Detroit, where Bananarama were flat and lifeless. That and the fact that the few songs SS had were musically far superior to anything Bananarama released.

      • Thanks Beemack. Yes ‘You’re History’ that’s the one. Great. I liked the pre-raphaelite extravagance if the videos as s well. . The glamour.

        Said it before- no matter if Adele, Sheeran can write songs they are totally lacking iin that glamour.

        Positive Anti-Glanour it is as I think Fenton said.

      • You’re so right. Remember a thing called “charisma”? Presley had it. Bowie had it. Mercury had it. Bolan had it. And many others from yesteryear. The likes of Sheeran and Asmelle have all the charisma of a wet lettuce. They’re hopeless,but dopey millenials who haven’t been exposed to decent music think they’re the mutt’s nuts. I despair.

      • On the same theme- Contrast Sheeran with David Bowie say- going to Berlin and the mysterious wait we had while he was there…rumours abounding…then he comes out with ‘Heroes’ and floors everyone again…

        Sheeran goes into a a television studio to make an advert for tomato sauce for prime time television..

        BTW Bowie was a cunt in his personal life I believe. But that’s not the point.

      • I actually don’t mind my heroes being cunts in private. I think it makes them more colourful. Sheeran is a cunt in public. Tomato fucking sauce adverts? As Bill Hicks would have said, “Suck Satan’s cock”.

      • What gets me about the Sheercunt ad is the mongish way he attempts to eat his food…

        If I’d been the doorman, I’d have told him to go and queue up at the soup kitchen.

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