Brexit

Fucked in Florence

Could the sirens sound more strident? May has spoken in Florence and the fate orf poor Blighty is laid oit clear and crystal. We are to be buggered, shafted and fucked.
Once again the Hunch Back orf Downing Street has proved herself no Margaret Thatcher who battled the graft and incest orf the EU and achieved long term meaningful reforms for Blighty in the snarling teeth orf the bureaucrats orf Brussels. Teetering orn her kitten heels, May, the old crooked back boiler, is twisted and guided by the malicious Sir Humphreys orf the Civil Service and, desperate sad day, the traitors within the Tory Party. Compared to May, Merkel looks like a Berliner sex bombe.

To mark the cards orf more callow cunters, the concept orf a European Trading Zone was dreamed up by Sir Winston after the war and backed by the Yanks. Churchill had saved De Gaul’s jambon many times during the war and considered him a friend so went to him first with the idea. Naturally old gallic conk poo pooed anything not orf his own creation so bided his time and then went running around Europe drumming up support for “his” brain wave. This became the Coal and Steel Community which Blighty was specifically not invited to join. To give them their due both the Belgians and the Dutch objected, thinking it a very rum show to cold shoulder Blighty who had recently given its all to save the world.

This then morphed into the EEC which Blighty subsequently applied to join in 1961 and was then most perfidiously black balled by old frog conk in league with the Blighty hating Kraut arse snake Konrad Adenauer. Recall as if it were yesterday the shameful headlines “De Gaul Says Non” (14th Jan 1963). Sir Winston stabbed in the back once again. Worth noting that the running boy for Blighty in this farrago was Edward Heath who likewise was shafted by old garlic breath whose principal object was to achieve French domination orf Europe.

Fast forward to 1973 and after many endless loop negotiations now PM Edward Heath will accept any crapola terms just to get in. Heath gets the bums rush and successor Wilson offers a referendum on membership in which he prudently stays out of the picture (unlike cunt Cameron). Re the crap terms we have been playing catch up ever since and eventually it’s the vote to fuck orfski.

As both De Gaul and Thatcher demonstrated the only way to get a halfway decent deal is to negotiate like a wog camel trader backed up by all the hit men in Sicily. Total intransigence is the only way to handle the fuckers. Yet May has already let most orf Europe sniff her knickers and park its bikes in her fanny. Easy or what?

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

Women’s Football


Womens football needs a cunting because frankly, who gives a flying fuck?

If you’ve read any of my previous posts you’ll know I have no time for football, its stars or its fucking fans. For me it’s just bread and circuses to keep an ignorant burger munching society in line so they don’t notice that the masses exist to serve the few. So that’s regular football for me, I would rather play with dog turds.

But Womens football? What the fuck is the point? If grown men kicking a ball around bores me to fucking tears then this is like counting hairs on a pigs scrotum while watching a dog scarf out its own anus.

Then there’s all the feminist crapola that goes with it. I heard yesterday on the BBC some stocky looking old growler saying that womens football needs a woman manager. You know what you old biffer? nobody gives a fuck. And the “home” of womens football? the fucking BBC of course.

If it was topless I would be interested but only if they got a new squad, most of them look like they’ve been round the block a few times.

What next? Peaceful womens football? I would love to see two teams of walking black postboxes having a kick around but how would they see the goal? probably use an infidel’s head as a ball too.

In short, womens football…go suck a dick and fuck off while you’re doing it.

Nominated by Spanky Mc Spank

Jehovah Witnesses


Jehovah Witnesses are the “tight wads” of Christianity. Cunts think nowt of doffing 10% tithe to their church but when Xmas bowls round the kids get fuck all!

I wouldn’t care, I have no idea where the money goes because every Jehovah church I’ve ever seen (admittedly only 6 or so – but dotted around the country) literally have been like extended wooden shacks or a couple of porta-kabins stuck together!

If then spend more than £50 quid a year on their upkeep I’d be amazed! There’s a rabbit off somewhere in that set-up! Even the watchtower only has a 2 amp energy saver bulb in it these days!

—-

“Dad?”

“Yes Johnny.”

“If Jesus was here now, as a child, what do you think he’d be doing today, on Christmas day?”

“Well Johnny, I imagine he’d spend it spreading good will to all men, helping the poor and passing on much needed words of peace and happiness to all. Is that what you think too son?”

“Well I don’t know about that Dad, but I reckon he’d be playing the fuck out of Black Ops on his new PS4 like Charlie is next door!”

Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!

The Emmy Awards


The Emmys – Just like the bilge-fest that was the Oscars, yet another yank luvvie vehicle for Trump bashing.

Yes – glitterati – Trump may be a shite President but have you ever thought about why he got in when 95% of the press, etc., we promoting Killary?

The answer is that ordinary yank folk (outside of the political and media bubbles – who hate ordinary folk) actually voted for something, anything other than yet another 4yrs of political sameness where no one in power gives a fuck about them so long as they are in power!

You cunts in Hollywood are so far removed from reality it’s unreal, I just wish the same folk who voted Trump would stop watching your films and TV series. As soon as those ratings began to fall you sharp change your La La Land tune, or at least shut the fuck up! You cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

Who the fuck is that gormless looking git who hosted the Emmys? Talk about cringeworthy embarrassment on a stick! Completely not funny or in the least bit entertaining, so I guess he’s American?

Some talentless twat call Stephen Colbert, apparently. Never fucking heard of him!

Let’s keep it that way…

Nominated by Dioclese

Sir Keir (don’t call me Sir!) Starmer KCB QC MP


This gormless looking turd first came to public notice as Director of Public Prosecutions in bigoted old woman Gordon Brown’s hopeless fag-end New Labour Government back in 2008.

Amongst other duties, the dim fuckwit’s DPP job was to find ways of not charging corrupt politicians caught defrauding the taxpayer by fiddling their expenses.

Furthermore, in 2009 he approved a decision not to prosecute keystone cops over the illegal fatal shooting of Charles de Menezes on the London underground four years earlier. Also (as esteemed mucker TECB kindly reminded me) Sir Kunt then went on to excuse plod Simon Harwood for the blatant manslaughter of Ian Tomlinson in 2010.

For these achievements and more he was appointed in 2014 ‘Knight Commander of the Order of Bath’ (KCB) for “services to law and criminal justice”. You could not make it up.

Sir Kunt has also been hired sporadically (for a small fortune) by law firm Mishcon de Reya, notorious as one of three firms that brought arch Remoaner-mong Gina Miller’s High Court legal challenge, chucking spanners in the Brexit works and costing the taxpayer £millions – just to delay Treesa May invoking Article 50.

He quit doing work for them after being appointed shadow Brexit Secretary by comrade Corbyn in October 2016.

Earlier this year, in answer to an opening question put by Andrew Marr, Sir Kunt – with total irrelevance – couldn’t help but immediately launch into something like (I paraphrase),

“Could I just say…before going any further… that my thoughts, prayers and bleeding heart goes out to the families and friends of [insert victims & calamity of choice here] who I know not from Adam, care even less about, and would run a country fucking mile from spending even 5 seconds with in the same room, blah-blah-virtue-signal-woof-woof.”

Andrew Marr’s reaction? Irritation, judging by the expression on his face.

Despite using his title when it suits, champagne socialist Sir Kunt conveniently dropped the ‘Sir’ during the General Election campaign to promote an illusory ‘ordinary man’ image.

“Address as Mr Starmer,” he advised Commons colleagues and officials.

More recently (together with ‘principled’ comrade Steptoe & numerally challenged Flabbott) he has performed multiple Brexit policy U-turns, most recently calling for Britain to stay in the Single Market and Customs Union for AT LEAST two years AFTER we finally extricate ourselves from the Evil Empire…

last week the useless cretins cynically bent over backwards to undermine Brexit whipping Labour to vote against the European Union (Withdrawal) Bill and bring down the Government. They lost, Brexit may still happen – democracy lives to fight another day.

A festering cunt of the highest KCB order.

Nominated by Shitcake Baker