Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Dead Pool [71]

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Congratulations to Shaun who correctly predicted that “Long-haired Scouse git” Tony Booth would be the next deadpool hit. We’ve missed a few big names recently, so it’s very satisfying that we score two within a matter of hours. Now the slate is wiped clean and we move on to Dead Pool 71.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck.

Fred West’s Nominations:

Clive James
Leslie Phillips
George A. Cooper
Denis Norden
Tony Britton

 

Horses on the highway

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Cyclists are eternally cuntable, no argument. but today, attempting to get to a pub to meet mates, [ a worthy and eminently crucial mission],I and many others were behind a fucking great pantechnicon marked with the terrible word – “Horses”.

This piece of automotive shit was being driven by a pea-brained four-eyed short-arse tart who thought 14 mph was appropriate in a country lane and stopping every time a small car easily passed by, was necessary.

I fucking hate horses and the fat arsed bints who lollop along on them as if it was some kind of fun to hold up traffic. Apart from getting a battered minge and even bigger arse chops ,what the fuck is fun about that?

Horses have the smallest brain relative to their size than almost any other being [Glaswegians excepted] and are too stupid to move away from a fire which still makes them fucking geniuses compared to the dim-witted plonkers that sit on them as if they are somehow doing something worthy.

Nominated by trouserbulge

Michael O’Leary [3]

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A cunting is surely deserved for shitcunt extraordinaire Michael O’Leary, the penny-pinching bastard behind Ryanair.

This fucker is the Mike Ashley of the skies. A mad little shit of a leprechaun, repeatedly sitting on his shit-throne screeching “me gold, me gold”, the cunt has managed to make airlines yet another capitalist race to the bottom, by offering the shittest possible flying experience for a pittance. This cunt has exactly zero ethics outside of the balance sheet; and it only amazes me that it has taken this long for his truly shitty brand of air travel to monumentally fuck up his customer’s en masse.

The tier of cunt who is universally despised, transcending class, political leanings and nationality, we can only hope that a stray engine falls off one of his crappy stock, plummeting down into his Leinster mansion and mangling the scrawny cunt into a veritable mess of blood, broken bones and shite.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

O’Leary is one megacunt. So he has to cancel something like 50 flights a day for six weeks, that’s 2100 fucking flights if my maths are correct and the cunt comes out and says it’s due to a balls up with pilot holiday rotas, what a complete load of bollocks. Fuck me have they allowed all the pilots to take the same fucking holidays? Now he’s been made to look an even bigger cunt by finally admitting they have a pilot shortage, the real reason for the cancellations. What an absolute PR fuckup, and by the person in charge. He couldn’t organise a pissup in the Guinness factory, the twat.

Nominated by Lord Swinging Balls

Brexit [3]

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Brexit is in need of its very own cunting becuase the whole thing is a just a steaming pile of goats shit.

We have a prime minister who has 0.0% credibilty and has made one shit decision after another. We have uppity unelected European cunts taking the piss out of us.

We have swarms of eastern europeans taking all they can get and giving fuck all back except crime, more crime and dangerous driving.

Nobody in the government seems to have a clue and now we have some kind of “transition” so more white trash from the Baltic can swarm in.

Public services are at breaking point, the roads are clogged with dangerous foreign drivers in old knackerd cars, the police and other authorities hands are tied due to political corectness.

Who is going to sort this cluster fuck out? T May? that’s a fucking joke. She’s dead in the water, the people round her are like squabbling teenagers and the whole thing smells of anal discharge. She looks like a turd someone has buried and then someone else has decided to dig it back up.

Never has there been a better time for a strong leader to take charge and do the right thing…will it happen? will it fuck.

Nominated by Spanky McSpank

Brexit [2]

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May has made the UK a laughing stock all over the world. She and her cabinet colleagues (with the possible exception of David Davis) are nothing more than an embarrassing bunch of remainer 5th columnist cunts. Who’d take us seriously now negotiating trade deals, etc?

Along with the EU fawning media and its leftard commentators asserting the UK is obliged to pay a ‘Divorce Bill’, they are selling us down the river, with drip drip estimates ranging from €36billion to €100billion.

But where on earth did this absurd notion of a divorce bill come from?

It beggars belief that the UK taxpayer, having poured £10s of billions net into the EU over the last 40 years, should now be expected to pay anything at all on leaving!
5th columnist EU supporting Financial Times reckon €100bn would be about right. Really? 10 years net membership fees upfront for fuck all?

Besides, the EU accounts have not been audited and signed off by a recognised accounting firm for years. If anything, the UK is probably due a sizeable reimbursement! What about the considerable UK stakes in EU assets (property and other profligate investments) not taken into account?

And why do they call it a divorce? Most divorces (apart from those involving Peacefuls and Morons) do not consist of 1 versus 27. It’s more akin to leaving a club. But what sort of club charges a member (who has paid heavy net membership fees for next to nothing in return) a fortune to leave said club? If anything UK should be due a refund. Unfortunately it seems a sizeable proportion of the electorate has been brainwashed by everyone from T. Bliar to Lord Haw Haw, aka James O’Brian, into accepting the opposite!

Our Establishment and negotiators are still overwhelmingly Remain, soft as shite, and totally lacking balls and experience. Cunts all, pure and simple.

Nominated by Shitcake Baker