Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Theresa May [9]

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What is the fucking point of Theresa May? Ok, she’s not Flabbott or Corbyn – but she’s now even more irrelevant and yesterday’s person than ‘Call Me Dave’ Cameron, ffs.

She has no power, no-one takes the slightest notice of anything she says any more, and rightly so, she has never delivered on any of her fine words EVER!

Fuck off and let someone with more credibility, like Noel Edmunds, take over.

Nominated by Shitcake Baker

May gets my vote for cunt of the year hands down – fucks up the election, then bends over for the micrococks of Europe to gangbang the UK into fucking oblivion

You fucking hunchbacked, clueless shitcunt. Deserves to be beaten to death with her own stinking kitten heels.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Dead Pool [72]

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Congratulations to Norman who correctly predicted that the world’s most famous dirty old man Hugh Hefner would be the next deadpool hit. He’s not been so stiff for years! Now the slate is wiped clean and we move on to Dead Pool 72.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck.

The Labour Party Conference

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One orf the pleasures orf keeping up me connections with Brighton is conference time and the opportunities it affords for personal cunting. The Labour Party and its fellow travellers? What a shower orf cunts. Saw Keith Vaz slugging its way through the security zone and swear to God it left an oozy trail orf slime behind it and the Brighton seagulls tried to get a peck at its arse. “Vaz! You’re a cunt”. It simply slithered more tightly in to its shell.

Next up Claire Short looking very old and quite alone. Had a few kind words with the former member orf the awkward squad now dematerialized in to a ghost orf composites past haunting the seedy corridors orf old fashioned socialism. Whiffy old cunt on her. Nothing sadder than a cunt that knows it is a cunt and has gone to seed.

“Starmer! You’re a cunt”. Involuntarily turned to look at Yours Truly. “Starmer! You’re a twisted conked cunt “ – and he is too. Starmer followed by a gaggle orf cunts with EU flags wearing blue ‘Bollocks to Brexit’ T shirts. Card firmly marked.

Spent an hour or so mooching about spotting the new generation orf the goggle box “Oh it’s that cunt “ cunts. Cunts without names that one day, oh horror, may prove unforgettable. No sight this time aroinde orf The Dark Side, the Blairites and the Mandelson Sect but will be in a dark dungeon somewhere (Brighton has many) knotting and gendering. If that way inclined go here!

Always sad to see the old card carrying cunt socialists, older and fewer by the year. Did spot ancient little Walter Wolfgang being helped to stand near the venue. Cunters may recall how the decrepit old cunt was Sieg Heiled by security staff for daring to ask an unscripted question a few years back.

So back to me motor (disabled badge, only way to park in Brighton cunts) through the throngs orf party hacks and activists orf yesteryear, the blue suit brigade with their Conference badges, the baggy titted researchers nipped oit for a quick fag, cunts with leaflets supporting the Palestinians, a coupla vast dykes with silver bunny ears screaming while getting their arses and fannies licked by a local dog (respect to that dog). Not to forget the TERFS demo (Trans –Exclusionary Radical Feminists cunts).

Worth noting Old Bill oit in force and quite happy to allow Yours Truly to trundle me old shopper with drain rods sticking oit (looking remarkably like the barrel orf an H&K PSG 1) in and oit orf the security fencing .

Happy days.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

Michael Heseltine (4)

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It seems that Charlton Hessletine has driven his chariot into the brexit arena, and has declared that Brexit will never happen, and that we will remain. He predicts that Members of the House of ill Repute have no stomach for such an arduous task such as managing a country, and would far prefer if someone else would do it for them. Hesselslime also predicts that we will eventually replace the pound with the Euro, and within a generation or so, we will all be happily little eurodumbs.

Sadly, following the capitulation of that most useless piece of shit Treason May, he could well be right.

More painful cuts to welfare, NHS and Public Services, a further tightening of the belt ( because we need to be prudent ) yet we can shell out fucking billions to the Slimeshits of the EU.

There is only one change that is required now, the change that can be purchased with a full metal jacket!

May is a cunt, and Hesselslime is the condom for Barmy Barnier’s cock.

Nominated by asimplearsehole

Compensation

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Still no fucking cheque from the Greenfell Tower compensation fund. You’d think my badly written, rude demand written on the back of a KFC container claiming for the Porsche that I was garaging in the spare bedroom would at least be dealt with.

I need a car to get to my job… Oh fuck, I’ve just realised..A JOB…how ridiculous. No wonder they saw through me.

No matter. They haven’t heard the last from this Mr Rastus Goodwill Umbongo! I’m still owed for 3 wives, 17 kids, 3 tellies, 12 mobile phones (drug business) and a leather pouffe.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler