Organised Religion

As Xmas is upon us again, I think it prudent to nominate organized religion for a biblical cunting.

To the even slightly educated, say IQ of 12 and above, religion is a swollen bag of bollocks.
Written by lunatics deranged by hunger or naturally occuring narcotics thousands of years ago, scripture is nothing more than the ramblings of an imbecile trying to make sense of the world around him whilst lacking any formulative or structured analysis.

Quite how the imbecile has defied natural selection and made it to the present day with faith intact is indeed a puzzle, but one that has been nurtured by the Cheerleaders of God.
Organized religion has carefully plundered all of humanity’s wealth and courage throughout the ages, nurturing the power they hold. Indeed, despite the best efforts of science and free thinking religion has prevailed.

Prevailed in its systematic creation of war, torture, famine, pestilence, suffering, guilt, poverty, murder and peadophilia. Indeed, almost every war of all time has religion as both it’s underlying cause and continued catalyst.

It is remarkable that anyone could take religion seriously, given the sheer number of times the christ figure has been replicated. And let’s not forget all that miracle shit.

Thanks to the organized religion, we as a spacefaring species have to share the 21st century with old testamenters and creationists from the bible belt of Americunt; creationist preaching in our school assemblies, promoted and backed up by a support organisation all of its own; and a plethora of banal celebrations etched into our society, including but not limited to, resurrection promoted through chocolate eggs and rabbits and of course – the dreaded christmas.
The life blood of mastercard.

I would argue that having caused the manifestation of the kind of stupidity that acknowledges a virgin birth, organized religion is also responsible for the existence of all other forms of stupidity such as the flat earthers, peacefuls, americunts in general, the fat acceptance movement, popular music and politicians.

Religion though is far from banal, it is actively encouraging evil. You need look no further than the pope himself inviting Robert Mugabe to the vatican (a destination unaffected by travel bans) or Mother Teresa writing to a judge pleading clemency and mercy for the accused conman who had stolen millions from poor people. Or even all of the peadophile priests still enjoying their freedom….

For creating all of the world’s problems, I encourage a vociferous cunting of organized religion in all its forms.


Nominated by Cuntflap

Jehovah Witnesses

Jehovah Witnesses are the “tight wads” of Christianity. Cunts think nowt of doffing 10% tithe to their church but when Xmas bowls round the kids get fuck all!

I wouldn’t care, I have no idea where the money goes because every Jehovah church I’ve ever seen (admittedly only 6 or so – but dotted around the country) literally have been like extended wooden shacks or a couple of porta-kabins stuck together!

If then spend more than £50 quid a year on their upkeep I’d be amazed! There’s a rabbit off somewhere in that set-up! Even the watchtower only has a 2 amp energy saver bulb in it these days!



“Yes Johnny.”

“If Jesus was here now, as a child, what do you think he’d be doing today, on Christmas day?”

“Well Johnny, I imagine he’d spend it spreading good will to all men, helping the poor and passing on much needed words of peace and happiness to all. Is that what you think too son?”

“Well I don’t know about that Dad, but I reckon he’d be playing the fuck out of Black Ops on his new PS4 like Charlie is next door!”

Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!

One Love Manchester “Zleb Fest”

I’m fucking dreading this concert thing tonight in aid of the Manchester victims.

I reckon it’ll even surpass Diana’s funeral for mawkish sentimentality. A load of ignorant pop stars wailing away to a VIP section of minor soap stars, reality tv show actors, assorted right-on social commentators and a bunch of vote-hungry politicians. They’ll all be at the front,with extra security, while the “ordinary” folk can hold their mobile phones up at the back.

Of course,there’ll be no mention of the Elephant in the Room, just endless cant about “Standing United” and “Love conquers Hate.” Nobody’ll dare utter the dreaded “Muslim terrorist” phrase, instead we’ll get tales of how the muslim “Community” helped the victims, and how “shocked” they all are. Presumably not so shocked that they bothered to do anything about the terrorists who they hid,and continue to hide, in their “peaceful community.”

Saints Bono and Bob’ll probably put in an appearance,along with whichever “star” Simon Cowell is currently plugging…is it a dancing dog this year? The over-the-top grief signalling will be unstoppable. Even “Self-Pity City”, Liverpool won’t be able to hold a tear-doused tea-candle to it.

All the weeping and wailing won’t change a fucking thing. Unless this country wises up, and fucking quickly, this muslim terrorism will increase and spread.

Nominated by dick fiddler.

Ticketmaster put aside 14,200 free passes for those people who attended the original concert. They received 25,000 applications from those people claiming to be there that fateful Monday. So, over 10,000 false claims.

Good to see the human spirit of honesty and compassion is burning strong.

The thieving, lying scum that will stoop so low, so as to get a free ticket on the back of other people’s suffering and misery.

Contemptible, miserable fuckwits. I despair.

Nominated by Mike Oxard.

The Messiah myth


The Jesus story predates erm Jesus and a similar story can be found in many other religions. In the world of theology now dominated by three major religions the view of Jesus vary widely. Religion v.1.0 believes Jesus to be a false messiah currently burning in a pit of excrement. Religion v.2.0 believe Jesus is our salvation and the only path to God. Religion v3.0 believe Jesus to be a prophet but denies his divinity and places him below the merchant, warrior with a fondness for the much much younger woman.

People who have made a life long study of esoteric mythology believe that Jesus represents the Sun of God and is indeed Sun worship, the Catholic Church stems from moon worshippers and Islam is worship of Saturn or indeed SATAN interesting stuff.

The only truth universal to all religions is that your God will help you if you help yourself and the more you help yourself the more your god will help you.

Nominated by: Sixdog Vomit

Religion [2]


I’d like to nominate religion for an almighty cunting.

When a secular person looks up in the sky, what do they see? Zillions of fucking stars, some of which died billions of years before their dad lost his mess in their mum’s cunt. What does this make them think? “Fuck me, I’m a right insignificant cunt. I’m a tiny speck in a universe that (for all intents and purposes) is infinite. All I can do is the best for those few cunts I meet. Even if I’m the best cunt who ever lived, I’ll soon be forgotten anyway. Still, the universe will go on for billions of years without me, just as it did for billions of years before my dad shot his load.”

When a religious person looks up in the sky, what do they see? Zillions of fucking stars, some of which died billions of years before their dad lost his mess in their mum’s cunt. What does this make them think? “Fuck me, I’m a right important cunt. God created all this just for me. If I have wank, Jupiter will wobble in its orbit. If I vote to let gaylords get married, God will destroy New Orleans. If I let my female relations show their hair, God will fuck me up. Best if I fuck up everything and everyone just to show God I’m on his side.”

I have zero respect for your religion and don’t care what your imaginary friend is going to do to me. This is an equal opportunities cunting and applies to all imaginary friends – Zeus, Thor, Quetzalcoatl, Allah, you are all cunts.

Nominated by: Cunt’s Mate Cunt