God [2]

God. A total cunt. Omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent – the omnicunt.

Has made a total balls of everything and, in true cunt fashion, will doubtlessly blame feckless humans for not sticking to the script, climatic or geological disturbances (which he incidentally rejects any responsibility for – a heads-up for the insurance cunts) or his beardy hipster son. Who’s also by definition a cunt.

Nominated by Shavi Tupuraz

Posted in God

Organised Religion

As Xmas is upon us again, I think it prudent to nominate organized religion for a biblical cunting.

To the even slightly educated, say IQ of 12 and above, religion is a swollen bag of bollocks.
Written by lunatics deranged by hunger or naturally occuring narcotics thousands of years ago, scripture is nothing more than the ramblings of an imbecile trying to make sense of the world around him whilst lacking any formulative or structured analysis.

Quite how the imbecile has defied natural selection and made it to the present day with faith intact is indeed a puzzle, but one that has been nurtured by the Cheerleaders of God.
Organized religion has carefully plundered all of humanity’s wealth and courage throughout the ages, nurturing the power they hold. Indeed, despite the best efforts of science and free thinking religion has prevailed.

Prevailed in its systematic creation of war, torture, famine, pestilence, suffering, guilt, poverty, murder and peadophilia. Indeed, almost every war of all time has religion as both it’s underlying cause and continued catalyst.

It is remarkable that anyone could take religion seriously, given the sheer number of times the christ figure has been replicated. And let’s not forget all that miracle shit.

Thanks to the organized religion, we as a spacefaring species have to share the 21st century with old testamenters and creationists from the bible belt of Americunt; creationist preaching in our school assemblies, promoted and backed up by a support organisation all of its own; and a plethora of banal celebrations etched into our society, including but not limited to, resurrection promoted through chocolate eggs and rabbits and of course – the dreaded christmas.
The life blood of mastercard.

I would argue that having caused the manifestation of the kind of stupidity that acknowledges a virgin birth, organized religion is also responsible for the existence of all other forms of stupidity such as the flat earthers, peacefuls, americunts in general, the fat acceptance movement, popular music and politicians.

Religion though is far from banal, it is actively encouraging evil. You need look no further than the pope himself inviting Robert Mugabe to the vatican (a destination unaffected by travel bans) or Mother Teresa writing to a judge pleading clemency and mercy for the accused conman who had stolen millions from poor people. Or even all of the peadophile priests still enjoying their freedom….

For creating all of the world’s problems, I encourage a vociferous cunting of organized religion in all its forms.


Nominated by Cuntflap

God botherers [2]


Those God squad door knockers are cunts.

Had a cunt bang on the door…..and if Jesus had come back as a ginger, he was at my door.

Didn’t give the cunt a chance and gave him a full broadside, finishing with there’s no God or gods or fairies or unicorns.

He said “I have faith and belief so therefore it’s true.”

I said “I didn’t realise it worked like that but now believed he owed me ten grand and I don’t take cheques.”

They don’t knock anymore….

Nominated by: J R Cuntley

Posted in God



Let’s see….
God makes the Earth and makes people and says “If you’re good I’ll let you into heaven and you’ll be happy forever, and if you’re evil you’ll go to hell.” But he already knows if they’re going to turn out good or evil because he’s omniscient, and as he’s omnipotent as well he could have made everyone good and put them in heaven to start with, so he’s wasted seven days of his own time.

And if he made man in his own image then he’s a cunt. It all makes perfect sense. You can see why millions of people dedicate their lives to religion.

Nominated by: Allan