Look at the links please first-

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“Jeepers creepers | Madison Smith | The Critic Magazine”

I am lost for words. But I’ve got to think of something to somehow do a Nom.

Never ever in my wildest imaginings…no

Sulley is her name. He is a man of course. How to start….?

I know a pun. The leadership of the Girl Guides have sullied the reputation of the movement by employing ‘Monica’

They are going to do a ‘probe’ Cunters. I’ll ask you first. Ok, if there was an identity parade and a line of average looking people came in and then ‘Monica’ appeared wouldnt you just get the slightest suspicion cunters that was something was up? Wouldnt you feel just the slightest bit uncomfortable having ‘Monica’ around young girls? Or young boys for that matter.

I would like to ask the leadership of the Girl Guide movement are you all such slaves to the modern lunacy to accept such a thing? Wasn’t there one amongst the whole lot of you to stand up and simply say ‘THIS IS CRAZY’

You are supposed to protect the girls them from strange men.

I am lost for words again

Well your ‘probe’ can be done in a jiffy. All you have to do is look on ‘her’/HIS social media pages. It wont take long as I say, doesn’t need an in-depth investigation. Just look at the fucking photos!!!

And I tell you what even after the ‘probe’ I bet he won’t be removed.

Nominated by: Miles Plastic

What a cunt! Not content with earning millions every year playing football for Real Madrid and France, this fucker decided to play the part of a north African gangster. Quite well too, I might get add.

Benzema is an Algerian who plays for France. He’s one of the most successful footballers of his generation. More money than he could ever spend.

Yet this cunt has just been found guilty of blackmailing a teammate with the threat of releasing a sex tape. Benzema has denied everything (he says he was trying to help), but he was caught on wire taps letting slip that he was part of it. He was a long term friend of one of the gangsters.

While the other cunts involved got prison, Benzema got away with a suspended sentence. Good lawyers can buy your freedom, when you least deserve it perhaps?

Has he shown remorse?

Has he fuck. He’s got his race card out and said that if he was white, he’d have been found not guilty.

Well, if he’d not been loaded and a national sporting hero of sorts, he would’ve been in a different predicament, perhaps.

What a fucking cunt.

BBC News Link

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

Circumstances have dictated that a few of the guys and myself have not met up recently, so we got together in town yesterday for a coffee. Crikey, talk about crock and bloody roll.

I must admit that it was down to me for starting the ball rolling. I minced into the café as though I had a butt plug up the jacksie, courtesy of my chronic bad back.

‘Aye aye, here he is, fucking Long John Silver’, somebody blurted out. ‘Hampton Court, is it?’.

‘No I always walk this way’ says I. ‘Fuck off, me back’s giving me gyp again’.

‘Tell me about it’ says somebody else. ‘I was playing golf last week but had to throw in the towel after eight holes. Me knee was the size of a melon. Bastard arthritis. The doc’s got me on these new tablets…’.

And so it went on.

‘Where’s Harry anyway?’. ‘Oh he phoned to say he can’t make it. He’s got an appointment at the hospital to get his Chalfonts checked out again. Thinks he needs an op’.

‘I’ve had a bit of a chest infection. Doc had me cough up a lump into a little cup and sent it away. I’m on antibiotics…’.

‘Have you had your Covid booster? Took me over an hour to get where I had to go. Here, that reminds me, I’m due a PSA test’.

‘I wish they’d hurry up and let me know about getting my other cataract done. I was hoping to be in and out before Christmas’.

Bloody Nora. I remember those halcyon days when we would ponder deeply upon a whole range of weighty philosophical, political and cultural matters; breasts, dodgy refereeing, breasts, transfer speculation, legs, breasts, drink, arses, boardroom shenanigans, arses, and breasts. We used to be a veritable Brains Trust.

These days we have dick-wagging contests about who can last the longest without having to get up in the night for a piss. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again; it’s a long and winding road from acid rock to acid reflux.

Growing old’s a pain, and I need it like I need a second arsehole. What a cunt. Bugger, where did I put my fucking bus pass?

Nominated by: Ron Knee