Dubai is a massive cunt and so are all the cunt that live there. I have been there a few times with work and I hated every minute. Never have I witnessed such a group of absolute wankers who think that they are better than everyone else. I mean look at these cunts. Boils my piss just looking at them.

A friend of mine moved over there a few years ago. Now all he ever talks about is money, money, money. Fuck off you materialistic cunt and never come back to the UK. Every expat that I have ever met is a cunt. Going on about how much they love the UK yet live in Dubai. The place needs nuking. Cunts.

BBC iPlayer Link

YouTube Link

Nominated by: Cock Blanket

OVO Energy are a cunt, advice on keeping warm without turning the heating up.

Comedy gold from some smartarse fuckwit at OVO who gave some recommendations on a blog on keeping warm without winding up the heating

Classics like leaving the oven door open after finishing cooking (I assume they men after it has been turned off), visions of families huddled around a oven ffs.

Cuddling your pets, poor little things being abused by freezing humans, I hope my cat will understand when I shove him under the duvet.

There are others in the link

OVO have apologised and are updating advice ?

What is wrong with these people, don’t they understand that ordinary people know how to keep warm. I get boiled piss everytime the labour twats come out with the ‘heating or eating’ choice, it’s fucking eating, in the good old days the peasants had coal, made a fire in one room and that was it, the rest of the house was a fucking fridge ?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-59946622

Nominated by: Sick of it

Charlie Mullins is a cunt, isn’t he.

This is the irritating cockney, and not at all contrived stereotype, who started Pimlico Plumbers and keeps popping up everywhere giving his unqualified opinion on everything.

Despite looking like he’s in a trannîe version of Bananarama, he’s cultivated the character of a conscientious grifter and made copious amounts of folding stuff. Innit

Where do you stand on Tax?
“Na listen, I ain’t ‘ad no privileged upbringing so let me teww you somefink…”
Where do you stand on Brexit?
“Na listen, I ain’t ‘ad no privileged upbringing so let me teww you somefink…”
Vaccines?
“Na listen, I ain’t ‘ad no privileged upbringing so let me teww you somefink…”

If he’s so much of a wor’in’ class geezer, what’s with the fluffy Kajagoogoo bouffant, cropped eyebrows, and botox’d visage? He’s supposed to be a plumber but acts more like he’s at a wedding reception in Witherspoons tucking into a meat pie and a pint of piss.

Now he’s finkin’ of runnin’ for mayor coz he reckons he’s your china plate, he finks he’s a bi’ of a Julius Caesar, but really he’s a just Charlie Hunt.

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

Helpful link supplied by: Miserable northern cunt

Standard News Link

I used to think that saying meant that when your body is feeling something, anything, you should actually consider that a signal for something.

Not anymore. Since entering my late 50s, I’ve found that I really don’t have a fucking choice about listening to my body anymore.

Dear cunters, I’m sure most will think “ at that age, yes, you should be aware of what your body is telling you “. Well, like I said, I don’t have a choice.

From the moment I awake, all I can hear is my belly, my arse, my joints, and now I’ve got fucking tinitus. I’m really looking forward to going deaf.

Getting older is a right cunt if you ask me.

Nominated by: Cuntington Smythe