Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee, about to bring you the result of the latest referendum, which of course is awaited with huge excitement and interest the length and breadth of the nation.
You’ll recall that the ballot paper required a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer to the following question;
IS TONY BLAIR AN UTTER CUNT? Yes/no
Polling during the run-up to the vote has indicated that the outcome was unlikely to be favourable to Mr Blair. It must also be said that his comments on Brexit which have immediately preceded the vote have probably not added to his popularity. Speaking at an event at King’s College London, Mr Blair claimed that if still PM, he would have ‘united the country’, after stopping Britain’s exit from the European Union.
Unbelievable as it may seem, Mr Blair is of the opinion that after traitorously ignoring the result of Britain’s greatest ever exercise in democracy, he could then have dealt ‘with all the problems that persuaded voters to vote leave’ in the first place. Yes, Blair would single-handedly have persuaded the bloated, undemocratic EU to reform itself root and branch; being in orbit around planet Zog, Blair still believes in the quaint notion that turkeys will actually vote for Christmas. Luckily for us, fellow cunters, we know that in spite of vicious and determined attempts by the establishment to overturn the referendum result, events in December 2019 proved that we still live in a country where the will of the majority can prevail. Indeed, I can now confirm that the latest result has been declared, and as IsAC’s man on the spot, I have the honour to announce to the nation that it is as follows;
IS TONY BLAIR AN UTTER CUNT?
No: 1 *
So, there you have it. The astonishingly out-of-touch, arrogant and delusional Mr Blair has been formally declared an utter cunt by an absolutely crushing majority. Without doubt, Blair is now Britain’s most irrelevant politician, so completely last century’s man.
Off you go then Tone. You’re talking, but only to yourself. Nevertheless you can take some consolation from the fact that you’ve at least succeeded in uniting the nation in one respect. EVERYONE fucking well loathes YOU.
This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio.
*It has been officially confirmed by Mr Blair that he voted ‘no’.
Nominated by Ron Knee