Wee Jimmy Krankie’s (23) Hogmanay Greet

“Here’s tae uz, wha’s like uz? Gey few, an’ they’re aw deid”.

“Aye, et’s yer Beloved Leadur an’ Furst Minestur Nic’la Sturgeon here, or ‘Oor Nic’la’ as ah ken youse aw like tae call me”.

“Anyhoo, youse ‘ave aw had yer Chrismuss like ah said, but wi’ yon Omnipresent beasty aboot, did youse aw gae canny like youse were telt? Naw. Ah telt youse tae tek care an’ thet, but youse wuz aw oot an’ aboot, weren’t yez, at th’ fitba’, shawpin’ an’ doon the bar bevvyin’ an’ stuff. Noo the wee beasty’s a’ over th’ place like shite aff av a shovel, an’ et’s all youse fault, so et tis”.

“So noo, ah’m tellin’ youse thet yer can ferget aboot Hawgmanay, so yer can. Fae Bawksin Day onnards, new regalashuns is in fae three weeks or mair. Hawgmanay celebratin’ is aff, so there’ll be nay meetin’ an’ greetin’ up th’ toon an tha’. Croods a’ any ootdayer do is limited tae five hunnerd, so the Auld Firm game an’ Hibees agin’ th’ Jam Tarts can gae whistle. Ef youse is gaein’ oot for a drenk o’ ah bite, th’ bar can onny serve aff av th’ table, an’ youse ‘ad better keep yer distance an’ aw”.

“Ah’m tellin’ youse noo, there’ll be nay enjoyin’ yersel’ this Hawgmanay. Ef youse dinnae dee whut yer telt this time an’ stay indoors, ah’ll ‘ave th’ poliss roond yer hoose at three in th’ mornin’, an’ they’ll drag yer roond here so ah can get ma foot right up th’ crack o’ yer erse”.

“Reet that’s youse aw telt, so aw thet remains is fer me tae wesh youse an’ yers ah guid, prosperous, but above aw, a HAPPY an’ HEALTHY New Year, jus’ as ah’m sure youse aw had in 2021”.

News Link

Nominated by: Ron Knee

86 thoughts on “Wee Jimmy Krankie’s (23) Hogmanay Greet

  1. First class Ronald.
    First fucking class.

    • Like North Koreas ‘Dear Leader’, Kim Jong-un.

      A country cut off from its wealthy southern neighbour, sucking up to the tyrannical regimes of Russia and China and run by a government who look after elites and cronies that the people despise. The similarities to Scotland are striking.

      Morning cunters and HNY. Anyone have Betty White in the DP?

      • Closing down Hogmanay has done nothing for her popularity amongst the general public it seems.
        Trouble is, she could grow a bristle moustache, put on a brown suit and jackboots and stomp about, and she’d still have the devotion of the bagpipes and misty mountains crowd.
        Legions of Scots just flocked south for a bevvy and a knees up anyway by the look of it.

      • That’s the positive aspect Ron – this Covid stuff will hopefully be the death knell for her political career

      • Thanks to Wee Nicky Cunty all the haggis fuckers climbed over the wall to vomit in Merry Old England, We should have electrified that fucking wall years ago…on the plus side we got the tartan cunts money through our tills which helped a few northern publicans being fucked over by the great scam.

    • I think that most of us are (thankfully) non Scots looking in and therefore don’t have a firm understanding of what is going on up there.
      Perhaps one of our IsAC porridge munchers could let us know what the ordinary person in Scotland is thinking about Krankie’s chances of retaining power.

      • problem is its a cult, most of scotland fucking hate the incompetent retarded lezza but a vocal minority worship her. only about 30% of the country ever vote for the vile hag mostly glasgow and dundee and you have a scottish press that is in her pocket so all fuck ups, and there is a lot of them, are swept under the carpet. she has run scotland into the ground, stagger from one disaster to the next and congratulate themselves on a great job. devolution has been a massive failure, hollyrood should be shut down and the scottish assembly abolished.

  2. Pan Am flight 103.
    Thomas Hamilton.
    Nicola sturgeon.

    What is the common link?
    They have all fucked innocent Scottish lives😉

    • She seems to think that a religious festival is above the law, can’t arrest people during Eid. As usual the police did fuck all.
      It’s easy to live and work illegally in the UK when the first minister of Scotland is defending the cunts

  3. Bravo Ron 👏

    A loathsome woman for the 21st century.

    Currently battling out with Mark “Harold Bishop” Drakeford in the biggest tinpot dictator championship.

    • Sturgeon is clear in that regard HJ. Chairman Mark is a huge cunt but has some way to go yet to match Krankie’s levels of cuntitude.

      • Drakeford is the excitable clitoris, Sturgeon is the rancid stench trench.
        Boris is the arsehole.

      • Correct. If it wasn’t for covid, no one outside Wales would have heard of the cunt. He’s not interested in further devolution, as he enjoys trying to make the UK government look like cunts, and getting them to pay for it.
        Thankfully, Boris held his nerve and didn’t cancel NYE, and made the pair of those cunts look like the desperate tinpot joyless tyrants that they are.
        Devolution, another crime against Britain conducted by Blair. Would never have happened if they were tory voting regions, and the cunt never thought the Scots nazis would take over either.

      • I suspect the real reason Boris didn’t cancel NYE was because the men in grey suits told him if he continued down the path of further restrictions he’d be out on his ear. He was already on borrowed time, he’s now in the last chance saloon.

      • It would be nice to think so Ruff but whilst the Tory Party may be due a great reset I don’t think that the calibre of the current crop of MPs is up to it.
        I am reading a book on the SBS at the moment and was reminded that JPW Mallalieu was caught up in the Lord Lambton scandal of the early 1970s. JPW had a first rate record in the SBS and Parliament was stuffed with impressive men and women at that time .We don’t have the quality in depth anymore.

      • Last reply is in wrong place; it should be below RTC’s offering of 1.05.
        Still pissed from last year.

      • Imo, there are more than enough good people on the Tory back benches. All that’s needed is the right leadership, someone with vision and true Conservative values. A big ask? Remember, Margaret Thatcher wasn’t especially rated during the years before the 1979 election campaign and subsequent victory.

    • RTC the current situation with The Jellyfish reminds me of the last days of Maggie. The speed with which her support evaporated was sickening. John Major’s convenient wisdom tooth problems which handily put him in hospital at the time was , well ,I cannot express my contempt for the man adequately.

      • Hopefully more like the last days of Ted Heath. I sense the Tory Party is aching for another great reset.

      • Major. What a weasely cunt. And dipping his bread in the Currie as well.
        His quacking voice gives me the willies.

      • It’s really a hoot when an unprincipled cunt like him has the gall to lecture the rest of us about basic values.

  4. To think that there is possibly someone she goes home to, who she gets to have a good sex session with.

    There’s hope for us all!!

    • I honestly can’t believe that there could ever be such a thing as ‘a good sex session’ with Wee Jimmy.

      • It won’t. It’s well known in the Scottish Parliament that she has a female partner and her “marriage” is a sham.

      • If this story really is true, I wonder why Legohead doesn’t just admit it, given that she’s such a champion of diversity and so on.

  5. “NO happiness for the drones”!
    This filthy little marxist cunt would have been strung up had she lived not so long ago – rightfully, I have no time for traitors who commit treason.
    English hating overpromoted commie town clerk.
    Time to remove socialism, communism and islam from all areas of UK politics, from the lowest to the highest.
    They are all different words for the same ideology of oppression of the free – and a cancer on humankind.
    A top new years cunting – I expect “arise Sir Ronald” to be heard before big Liz shuffles orf!

  6. Jesus, The Pope and Nicola Sturgeon, on a fishing boat on Lake Galilee.

    The conversation gets around to “divinity”.

    “Lo, to proveth unto thee, that I truly am touched by the hand of my Father, a demonstration!l

    With that, he steps off the side of the boat and walks upon the calm surface of the lake. Out into the middle, then back onto the boat.

    “Help! Whoa ma’ boab! Anything youse kin do, so kin a!”

    With that, wee krankie steps into the lake and dances a Highland Jig on the water, finishing with a dramatic leap, back onto the boat.

    “O’ vell, asss da Ho-lee Far-der and the Vicar ov Christ…..if they can do it….”

    Whereupon he steps into the lake, sinks straight down and drowns.

    After Jesus wipes away his tears of laughter, he turns to Wee Nicola and says:

    “Do you think we should have told him about the stepping stones?”

    She replies.

    “Eh? Ya wee cunt. Wha fuck’n stepping stoons?”


  7. That’s why you get the Cunters award, quality.

    Vile creature and living proof, Trolls do come down from the mountain.

  8. This is what devolution gets you, and Westminster indulge wee jimmy more and more. I would have thought that a global pandemic would see Westminster calling the shots and all UK nations following the same hymn sheet. Instead we have Gaulieter Krankie and her Holyrood einsatzgruppen playing their own tune in an effort to make Boris look even more like the prevaricating bellend he already is. Giving people if her ilk power is like giving a three year old a box of matches.

    • If it wasn’t for Blair and devolution Westminster would be calling all the shots. Mind you, without devolution we would probably have had a couple more Labour governments and no Referendum…

      • I wonder how things would have panned out if we’d had devolution, Sturgeon and Blackford in 1939. I dread to think.

      • Considering the SNP’s links with the Nazis at the time, Hitler would’ve probably been welcomed in with open arms.

    • correct, in a pandemic westminster should have called all the shots and these cunts put in their box

    • I have many faults as a man,
      But a lack of appreciation for midgets isnt one of them.

      Wee Nicky is the full package!
      Sullen,ginger, argumentative,
      As well as the oversized nut and stumpy limbs.
      I wouldn’t get bored of chucking her skyward on the playing fields for hours.

      Bet if her leg didnt detach with the Gforce I could chuck her 100ft!!

      Curious fact
      midgets always land on their feet!
      Try it at home!
      If you drop one off a second floor balcony or escarpment theyll land feet first.

      Its all to do with the head acting as ballast.
      Its all a bit scientific.
      None of you would be able to follow it.
      Just accept it as a FACT.

      • MNC@ – “Legohead Quidditch” – I’ll get some of those kilts sorted so we fit in, get this in the Highland Games, charge those tightfisted buggers a tenner each to see wee Krankie used as the ball – even the “nae tight, jut careful with a Poond” Scots will be queuing ten miles down the road to get in! 😀👍

      • Foxy@

        We can reinvent the glorious sport of dw@rf throwing.
        Bring it into the 21st century.
        Get sponsorship involved!!😀

  9. Spot on and first class RK.
    A pint o’heavy for the fisting dwarf.
    Building a communist utopia right on our doorstep.
    Using English tax revenue.
    Ginger gnome cunt.

  10. Spot on and first class RK.
    A pint o’heavy for the fisting D.warf.
    Building a communist utopia right on our doorstep.
    Using English tax revenue.
    Ginger gnome cunt.

  11. There are no words to express what damage that woman has done to my country. I moved away from Scotland when I was 17 not by choice but by the pathway, I wanted to go on re training for my chosen profession.

    Whenever I go back I despair.

    Trams in Edinburgh -what the fuck has she done to the roads
    Roads – potholes galore because of the money diverted to trams.
    Education – what the fuck has happened there, SNP have buggered the system.
    Fifth rate politicians – Ross Greer FfS

    Cannot stand her, her party, and what they have done to my once great country.

  12. Thanks Ron for the first laugh of the new year…well, the first in print, as this one made me laugh early this morning when I heard it..

    ‘Krankie, Krankie McThatcher, the dour faced cuntin Hogmanay snatcher’

    (If you’re not seeing the Thatcher relevance, have a look at https://i.imgur.com/M8ofZ4I.jpg )

    Well, you have to try imagine it coming from the lips of a big drunk Dundonian ex-SNP supporter who used to think that the sun shone out of Krankies arse, it was funny, but then again, I was drunk and now I’m soberish…a sorry state which I’m about to remedy via a liberal application of rum…

    Happy New Year ya cunters.

  13. The Scots voted for her so let them reap their rewards…I’m sure her path will lead to nothing but good things for them all.

    Far more sinister about this repulsive woman and her political party / husband are all the questions about money, fraud and other dubious practices.

    • It’s grim. They are bullies, hypocrites, and uneducated vermin.

      It’s all anti- English shite and a one party quest for the divine utopia, independence which would solve every problem.

      The truth is that Scotland will become like Greece, talent and companies will move south, and all that will be left is the neds, schemies, 16 year old votirs, a growing retirement age populous and a big fucking economic problem.

      Fuck you Sturgeon and your band of cockwombles

      • You forgot junkies and alcoholics😢
        Poor Scotland.

        Welcome back, Raiders👍

      • I think if they ever get independence it will turn from utopia to shithouse pretty rapidly.

      • Well spotted, yes I did. Thank you Cuntfinder. Nice to be back after a few intensive work weeks.

      • You forgot to mention
        The ever-expanding Caliphate of Glasgow Southside…now with added Talibany goodness(sic).

  14. Strange that a large proportion of the Scottish population scream they want independence, they seem to love being ordered around by no marks.

    • Sadly there are indoctrinated into her bile.
      The “wrong Scots” to her and her like (those who were brought up in Scotland but live elsewhere) understand basic economics, and know they cannot survive alone. Unfortunately she appeals to 16 year olds, and the uneducated and bulldozes the hard working individuals. Also kills talent as why live in Scotland when you are taxed 41% on £40k and 50% at the higher bandings. Fucking madness.

    • How marvelous!!
      A true sporting event!
      “Baddest mudderfuckin midget”..

      • ‘Oh he’s fallen over’, ‘Well he didn’t have far to go’.
        Brilliant stuff.

  15. Scotland is in debt, leaving would be a financial disaster – if the SNP have any semblance of power in an independent Scotland I fear we will have Venezuela on our doorstep within our lifetimes.
    I hope the Scots have the sense to see through the socialist deceptions of the SNP, but I am baffled as to how what in reality is a village hall communist fringe party gets voted in and appears to have the jellyfish by the balls – Sturgeon just has to stamp her little trotters and Johnson caves, on pretty much everything.
    Politics is dark farce.

    • The SNP are in it to feather their own nests, stash money and riches while puffing up all the pro-independence idiots who basically have not very much…..

      • Exactly. Band of cockwombles. It’s getting similar to the US of A where you can spot educated ones as they either live on the East Coast or have passports. In Scotland the threshold is those who have ventured past wicker man country Hawick and Jedburgh.

  16. As el Gordo quoted “bigoted woman”.She is clueless.Burn her at the stake.Wee haggis.

  17. I’m Scottish and hardly know anyone who has a good word to say about her, but then most of the people I know have more than two brain cells apart from one cousin. He is a huge fan and a typical SNP supporter – mid-50s and never worked since he left school, IQ lower than a dog turd and believes any bullshit the SNP tell him. He reckoned he’d be getting £35k a year unemployment benefit if Scotland was “free”. The last thing people would have in an independent Scotland would be freedom under the jackboot of high-heel Hitler and her cronies. They’d bleed the place dry and fuck off to somewhere that doesn’t have an extradition treaty.
    I had an elderly relative who used to be a teacher and worked with difficult kids all her life. The first time she saw Sturgeon many years ago she said “I know an evil little bitch when I see one and I’m looking at one now. Watch that one, she’s trouble.”
    Boy was she right.

    • Here here Grumpy Bagder. When Ruth Davidson was around she gave the wee turd a run for her money, sadly no one to take her on.

  18. I shouldn’t be at all surprised if this pinched midget is concealing a button mushroom cock in its corsets.
    Happy new year, cuntsmen.

  19. Face like a dog licking piss of a patch of stinging nettles.

    This article from the Express earlier this year was rather illuminating:

    To summarise:

    A battered housewife turned to ooor wee Nicola fae help after being abused by her husband for years.

    For over a year this housewife was followed, threatened and attacked. Allegedly ooor wee Nicola did not apply for an interdict against the husband to stop this threatening behaviour and campaign of intimidation and harassment against this poor woman.

    There is also the matter of her (cough allegedly) not sending off the same woman’s application for legal aid during this 14 month period. The unsent application being discovered in the client’s file by her new solicitor after oor wee Nicky leaving for another job in Glasgow.

    It goes on to say that there was talk of an initial investigation into gross misconduct against Ms turd-gun.

    And yet it was dropped, she wasn’t struck off no consequences whatsoever….. but is now in charge of running a country.

    “Now, more than 20 years later, the First Minister remains absolutely committed to tackling domestic abuse and ensuring that women can access the support they need.”

    Oh really?

    • It did have consequences for the person investigating Nippy:
      “Despite the findings of Sheriff Pasportnikov, and her identification of multiple serious issues where she concluded Ms Sturgeon’s failure to provide competent legal services qualified as professional misconduct – the Law Society of Scotland concluded there should be no further action and Nicola Sturgeon left the legal profession.

      It is important to note – the Law Society of Scotland cleared Nicola Sturgeon even after their case manager Ms Pasportnikov identified various breaches of professional misconduct by Nicola Sturgeon – and that Ms Sturgeon – who then ‘stood down’ from the legal profession – to contest a seat for the Scottish National Party – then entered politics without an on the record finding of professional misconduct by the Law Society of Scotland.

      Records show from announcements in the legal profession’s press, and Scottish Government news postings – Announced on 31 July 2015 – Olga Pasportnikov was appointed by the Queen following a report to the First Minister Nicola Sturgeon – by the Judicial Appointments Board for Scotland…
      …The First Minister has statutory responsibility for making recommendations to Her Majesty the Queen and is required by statute to consult the Lord President of the Court of Session before making her recommendation.”
      Full story here and an interesting read about the state of the legal system up here – https://petercherbi.wordpress.com/2021/03/10/first-interests-judge-recommended-for-judicial-role-by-nicola-sturgeon-found-first-minister-committed-three-counts-of-professional-misconduct-in-law-society-probe-of-ms-sturgeons-failure-to-pro/

      • Wow great job Grumpy.
        This is fascinating stuff.
        Add this to the smell coming off the investigation into the Salmond ‘set-up’.
        She really is a slippery little shit.

Comments are closed.