Sergey Lavrov, Foreign Minister of Russia.

Officially this goblin faced prick is Foreign Minister of Russia but in reality his job is a Kremlin mouthpiece to spread lies and misinformation about the Ukraine conflict and Russia’s war crimes.

Following the discovery of mass graves with evidence of torture and summary executions of civilians in Bucha and surrounding towns outside of Kiev, he said the “attacks were staged by Ukraine and the West” even suggesting the dead bodies were actors who were bussed in and the whole thing was a conspiracy to undermine Russia. I bet he had the same line of bullshit when Russia was flattening cities in Syria and Chechnya too.

https://www.telesurenglish.net/news/The-Bucha-Images-Are-a-Staging-Russian-Foreign-Minister-Holds-20220406-0009.html

Funny how this not so super superpower is always the victim?

I don’t think for a minute that Lavrov or the rest of Putin’s cronies in the Kremlin will face justice but being handed over the Ukraine military or fucked off to some penal colony where he can complain about his tiny fake cell and the prison guards who are actors inside the fake prison that doesn’t exist to nobody.

To paraphrase the great Winston Churchill, “Russia is riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a giant bullshit sandwich”.

Nominated by: Liberal Liquidator

Being punished for criticising fictional characters is a cunt, isn’t it.

A man in Nigeria has been given 24 years in prison. What was his offence?:

1.) Raping then murdering a child;
2.) Stabbing several people then driving a car into a crowd, killing two; or
3.) Posting criticism of Islam on a Facebook page.

Mubarak Bala has been imprisoned after being formally charged with 10 counts of causing a public disturbance because those Facebook posts were deemed “blasphemous”.

24 years for a victimless crime.

Blasphemy laws are a public admission that a religion’s ideas cannot stand on their own merits but are weak and decrepit. It seems they must be coddled and protected against any question by threats of fines, imprisonment, beatings or death.

There are backward countries in the world. We can’t call these places that are full of misogyny, bigotry, religious zealotry, fasting, intolerance, Sharia Law, and ignorant superstitions anything other than shit-holes.

Allah, like God, Voldemort, Buddha, Darth Vader, the White Witch Queen of Narnia, the Big Bad Wolf, Ming the Merciless, darleks, the Wicked Witch of the West, Watership Down’s General Woundwort, the StayPuft Marshmellow Man, and the characters in Rentaghost,
…doesn’t fucking exist.

The Guardian Link

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

Caitlin Jones is a cunt.

I’m sure, by now, most cunters must think I’m obsessed with anything Greggs. You may be correct, however, there’s plenty of material out there, so I’m not looking very hard.
Caitlin, a 22 year old mum, decided during lockdown ( it’s always the case) to have the Greggs logo tattooed on her arse cheek.

Apparently, she was sooooo gutted that the fine dining outlet had shut up shop for the duration, a tattoo would somehow fill the huge void of not being able to get a sausage roll.

The funniest thing about this is the their tag line” always fresh, always tasty”. I will warn the ISAC horn section in advance, she has a rather lovely set of bangers, a nice arse, but alas, a proper cunt.

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/fabulous/8673914/caitlin-jones-greggs-tattoo-bum-scotland-paisley/amp/

Nominated by: Cuntington Smythe

Being denied the chance to pitch my “Celebrity Voodoo Dolls” on Dragon’s Den is a Cunt.

I have been obsessionally working for minutes on an idea that I’m sure will benefit the mental well-being of the nation and earn me a modest fortune….it is,like so many brilliant ideas, actually rather simple.I take an old sock,shit in it,tie it up and stick a “celebrity” face on it…I then douse it in petrol and set it alight….at the moment the remains of my Beckham family shite-bags are smouldering gently on the lawn and you can’t imagine the pleasure I got from watching the whole revolting clan burst into flames.
I feel sure that my invention will be as popular as the printing-press or electricity…who in their right mind would turn down the chance to take out all their frustrations at the absurdity of modern life by tormenting a “celebrity”? and when my Royal Family range of dung-dolls hits the shelf….well,I’m sure you agree,the sky’s the limit.

BBC told me to “Fuck Off”…probably because I’m not a sooty tranny in a cripple chariot…I’ll give Richard Branson a call…he can always recognise a good business opportunity and I’ve actually got a Branson shit-doll already prepared so the video that I’ll pitch to him of me giggling like a Prince Andrew victim as I set fire to a truly lifelike representation of his Good Self should go down a storm.

Brace yourself for my appearance on Loose Women.

Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler

This nom is a little late given that the cunt in question has been dead for over 2000 years but please bear with me.

The cunt in question is Plato. Surely this esteemed philosopher, the inventor of the simile of the cave and author of The Republic cannot be a cunt I hear you protest.

Plato was an Athenian. As everyone knows the Athenians invented democracy. One man one vote. Well, not exactly, slaves couldn’t vote, women, couldn’t vote,, only male citizens of suitable standing could. Couldn’t have the oiks who outnumbered the elites taking over could you? They’d invent socialism or something and take over wouldn’t they?

Well anyway, Plato was very much one of the elite and a patrician cunt too by all accounts.

He hated democracy, because he thought even the incomplete form of it practiced by the Athenians gave too much power to the oiks who weren’t educated enough to understand the complexities of what they were voting on.

So far so good you may think and have some sympathy with this point of view. This is still a current debate around voting age. Remember many in Labour have called to lower the voting age to 16. Note also the argument was made frequently and loudly after the Brexit vote that the plebs didn’t know what they were voting for by the chattering classes.

But Plato’s solution as espoused in The Republic was that no one should have a vote at all. They should instead be ruled over by an elite class of ‘philosopher kings’. In effect Plato invented technocracy. Of course Plato wanted to be head king.

Well he didn’t get his way but the idea survived. Technocracy is on the rise. Plato’s academy today is uber cunt Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum, which churns out disciples and wannabe philosopher kings like Macron and Trudeau. You know, smug cunts that know better than you and therefore want to control every aspect of your lives.

As a final observation I will just point out that the laws of 500 million people in Europe are made by an unelected ‘Commission’. Plato would be proud.

Nominated by: Berkshire Huntmaster