Well, fornicate my aged tan footwear. Flicking through the idiot box this evening I happened to encounter the lisping imbecile who apparently still has a “show” on ”ITV”.

The line up was such that I thought ISAC had sold out and gone mainstream MSM. Russell B Rand, Stevie ‘Boy’ Fry a selection of darkies telling us of their “ “journey” and an assortment of cuntitude that frankly made me think of using the home made gibbet.

Luckily I switched over to BBC1 where an Oprah Winifred Attwell impersonator and jug eared crisp vendor persuaded me that I needed to check my white privilege and genuflect before the altar of St.chicken George so that the beardy weirdo waistcoated bell end that is in charge of the ‘English’ association football team can fuck off to Qatar and trouser a billion Dirhams whilst ignoring the very thing he objects to.

A bit random perhaps but FFS.

Nominated by: Kunte Kunty

Yeah I remember that film with Sean Bean and one of the Redgrave women. Running round the countryside in the nuddie. Lady Chatterley’s Lover. Directed by crazy Ken Russell. (Might have been this – Lady Chatterley    – Day Admin)

But I remember thinking this seems natural, ‘spontaneous’. Seemed they were enjoying it.

Anyway our dear old friend Emma says there should always be an ‘intimacy coordinator’ there. A what? Seems there are people who do this this job title.

I suppose sex scenes are quite embarrassing (forgive the pun) to ‘bring off’.

But what does he or she do. Or rather say. ‘Lights , camera…shag!’. Or ‘Stop there…we need a better shot of her butt’.

‘Make-up he needs to look more sweaty’.

What qualifications do you need for the job? I suppose if you worked in the Porn industry that would give you lots of experience of filming intimate moments.

Maybe the ‘IC’ tells other people on the set to avert their eyes when the scene is to be played.
Except the cameraman of course.

Maybe he or she ‘coaches’ the participants. Encouraging the male actor ‘go on lad, go on’. Or the female ‘go on make some noise’.

Even in the ‘afterglow’ the Intimacy Coordinator I bet is still there. ‘Stroke her cheek now’. ‘Run you’re fingers through his hair’.

Seems a funny kind of job altogether.

For those in the altogether I mean.

BBC News Link

Nominated by: Miles Plastic

(Who’s up for it with this little ray of sunshine then?-  Day Admin)

A what the fuck have the BBC done now cunting for the woke show called Strictly, the show you remember that used to be about dancing, traditional man and woman doing the Foxtrot or Jive.

For some reason the winning formula wasn’t quite good enough so we get same sex couples, the odd mutton thrown in and a couple of disabled but quite reasonable dancers.

This year we have Dick Fiddlers favourite, yes Ellie Simmonds is in the line up, can’t wait for the ‘free dance’ or whatever the fuck they call it, we can see dwarf throwing on the BBC.

Just reset the fucking show back to what it should be, a celeb (lol) and pro male – female dance contest, not a fucking freak show.

I wonder if they will pull in a professional midget dancer to be her partner

BBC News Link

Nominated by: Sick of It

No, not the dippy One Show host, that fucking American conspiracy bellend.
In court this week for causing grieving families of the biggest (so far) massacre of children by a fucking dickless gun nut.

The cunt told his viewers, all of whom if asked what is their favourite lollipop flavour would reply ‘window’, that the senseless murder of these school children was a hoax perpetrated by Obama do that the government can take all the legal assault rifles from the patriots.
Obviously bollocks, yet this cunt, with no sense of decency, carried on with his lies, meaning the bereaved families were subjected with threats and hate from Jones’ arsehole followers.

A decade later, they had their day in court, and the fat fantasist cunt was bang to rights, caught perjuring a couple of times, and now faces a huge bill for his troubles.

The shameless cunt went on his show bleating that he couldn’t afford it and everyone who supports him should send him money. The crooked fat lying cunt has declared himself bankrupt before the trial, to try and isolate himself from his grifted fortune, but forensic accounting has found out he his worth far more than what he owes.

Reminds me of Tommy Robinson, during his recent appearance in court for lying about that Iranian school kid and pretending to get divorced so he can plead poverty, even telling the court that he blew all his supporters cash on gambling. They still support him, proving there’s none as dumb as scum.

As luck would have it, another Alex, he of the Belfield, has been found guilty today, of stalking and harassment. Smug wanker, like his yankee namesake, is saying he’s being victimised because of his views.
And dull cunts will believe him too.

Might get the bunting out……?

Daily Mail News Link

Nominated by: Gutstick Japseye

A ‘Get a fucking move on’ cunting for the aforementioned Spawn of Satan. You’re getting cash out of a hole-in-the-fucking-wall, not pre-flighting a fucking 737 you jittery cunt.

I’ve been in helicopters that have got in the air from the fucking hangar quicker than you’ve extracted a fucking tenner. I just want to get some cash out for my lunch, a CAT 1’s just come in over the radio and you’re sticking your fucking card in for a third bastard time??

Once more and you’ll be riding in the back of my truck quicker than you fucking thought.

Good morning.

Nominated by: DCI Gene Cunt

(Good job you don’t get stuck behind some of the senile old cunts on this site – Day Admin)