There have been some great tragedies in the world of music – the death 65 years ago this week, (1st September 1957) in a car crash of Denis Brain, probably the greatest French horn player of his generation, the death of Buddy Holly in February 1959 (if you like that sort of thing), in a plane crash, Sir Thomas Beecham in 1961. John Lennon in 1980, now, with a tear in my eye, and a hole in my sock, Mr Kaba, yet another budding rapper, who passed away, peacefully, one hopes, in Streatham last night:

Evening Standard Link.

Yet another rapper – another one kicked the bucket last week, a few last year – has met an untimely end through malarky with the police.

How sad that the police are being employed by the Performing Rights Society – because they were’nt performing right.

An award of some sort is needed, if not the Ivor Novello. Perhaps a Mercury, innit?

Nominated by: W. C., Boggs

Tempest photographers are greedy money grubbing cunts.

We attended our grandsons graduation at Lincoln on Thursday. It was a great day, everyone was in a happy mood and the actual ceremony in the cathedral was special. In the grounds of the castle, where the festivities were taking place was a tent sectioned up, where photographers were.

These are obviously optional but who doesn’t want a photo of your grandson, proud as a peacock in cap and gown?

We’ve found out the cunts want £70 for one photo and it’s file on a CD, yes you read it properly, 1 fucking photo. Exploitative cunts.

The fuckers have you over a barrel, yes we took pictures with our phones, and yes they are nice, but not the same as a professional one with a proper flash set up.

He was expecting around £40, which is plenty to pay but the cunts seem to have upped the cost somewhat. I fucking hate having the piss taken out of me and the family by some bastards with a camera.

They will have made a killing, the graduates were queuing up to have their photos taken. £70 fucking quid, bastards.

Tempest Graduation Site Link

Nominated by: Bertram Cuntatious DCO

I wonder how many of you cunters knew that half the population of the North East is tinted. Well switch on to Vera, and that’s how it seems. Although the murderer is always white. How strange.

Oh no, they’re making yet another series of this festering pile of pigshit. Christ, where do I start? Well how about the boring story lines and risible attempts at a Geordie accent by most of the actors, which invariably sound somewhere between Welsh, Bulgarian and Parking Stanley. Then there’s the subdued lighting and low pitched background noise to give a sense of ‘Newcastle noir’ foreboding. Except it doesn’t, it’s just fucking annoying.

And who do we have playing the hard nosed Detective Chief Inspector Vera Stanhope? Why, shortarsed Teletubby OAP Brenda Blethyn of course, who calls everyone ‘love’ when the correct Geordie term of endearment is ‘pet’. And her back up team of plain clothes coppers? A Scotsman past retirement age and a collection of 20 something kiddies. Even one in a wheelchair for fucks sake. Does this fit the typical detective demographic? No, it’s ITV fulfilling it’s diversity targets.

So here comes series 12, which I expect will go diversity mad. Brenda’s 76 now, so surely they’ll pension her off to be the next Miss Marple. To give it some female glamour let’s replace her with Dame Eddie Izzard in best frock and lippy. Back up team? Well those roles are a must for Ade Adepitan, Warwick Davis and Ellie Simmonds, who will all make highly credible police detectives. Where to film it? How about on the Newcastle quayside, at the coast or in the remote wilds of Northumberland, just for a change, eh?

I’m sorry to say that Mrs Twatt watches this shite, so that will be more business for the Whippet Inn from yours truly when it comes on. What a pile of cunt.

Hello Magazine

Nominated by: Geordie Twatt

We’ve been forced to ensure this muppet’s aural torture for decades now, and he’s just announced he’s spaffing out yet another catalogue of dirges as a Christmas album.

For goodness sake, please, no really, please, just piss off. You were a third rate Elvis for a couple of years in the 60’s, amongst other things??? and whether you are boring the piss out of us at Wimbledon or pretending to be a sex-symbol in your eighties, you have failed to realise that the only people that will buy your pap are dried-up septegenarions and assorted friends of Dorothy.

On the subject of Dorothy, I would like to make it clear that in no way is Sir Cliff even on speaking term with Dorothy, let alone a friend of hers, oh no siree, absolutely not, how very dare you. He has just lived with an ex-priest (ahem) for 40 years because he gets a bit lonely sometimes.

Do us a favour Cliff, fuck off, and when you get there, fuck off again, obnoxious, sanctimonious, toothy twat.

Sly News Link.

Nominated by: Termujin

With a second verse from Cuntstable Cuntbubble:

He has used Sue Barker as his beard for 40 fucking years based on a couple of celibate ‘dates’. She is pissed of with it and has finally cracked.

Shit singist and definite shirtlifter, but in a pious way.

I am just old enough to remember his shit fucking Elvis impressions. A sort of limp wristed Billy Idol.

The cunt.

Daily Fail Link.

This is not a cunting of all rozzers, but of this plastic copper (PCSO) in particular. I’d use a ‘better’ source, but the lamestream media ignored this story, of course. It definitely happened though, the footage is out there and the cops aren’t denying it.

What happened was some far lefty PCSO knocked on a woman’s door who had a sticker in the window which said something like ‘Trans women aren’t real women.’

I agree. I wouldn’t put it in my window (you’re just asking for some woke prick to put a brick through it), but that’s up to her.

This Stasi-esque plastic copper knocked on her door and gave her a bollocking, telling the woman to get educated and ‘you need to read more, quite frankly’.

I was hoping to read some news that this little Adolf had been relieved of her duties, but I can’t find such a story.

I guess she’ll soon be the county’s highest ranking rozzer in a few years instead, the fucking shithouse.

Fuck off.

graham linehan news link

Nominated by:Cuntybollocks