”Pakistani PM says he should not have to beg for help after catastrophic floods”
Yes it’s all our fucking fault. We give off less than 2% of emissions but it is rich polluting nations that are to blame. I notice he doesnt mention China, the biggest polluter of all, which will give fuck all unless there is some neo colonisation attached. And perhaps money spent on infrastructure instead of nuclear weapons might have helped.
Fuck the backward bastards.
Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble
(CEO: Stephen Bird = FUKIG TWT – Day Admin)
No, the cat hasn’t just walked across my keyboard. Here’s me thinking that no company could possibly come up with a more ridiculous rebranding than Liverpool Victoria to LV=. But how wrong I was.
First, a bit of history. Two Scottish investment companies, Standard Life and Aberdeen Asset Management, merged in 2017 to form Standard Life Aberdeen. The directors then spent the next few years busily engaged in paying themselves big fat bonuses whilst buggering up the company, losing business, cutting the dividend and pissing loads of dosh up the wall by sponsoring golf, rugby, skiing and the arts. Incidentally, with all that money, you would have thought the golfer in the photo could have afforded a bra. Anyway, I digress.
So how do they improve the company’s performance? Well obviously by handing over a load more lucre to a bunch of corporate rebranding consultants to disemvowel the name to ‘abrdn’. Brilliant! Pitch an investment company at the TikTok generation of aspirational dyslexics. That was 6 months ago, so how is the rebrand going? Well I’ve just checked the share price today and it’s tanked by another 32% in the last 6 months, making a fall of 70% in total since the merger.
‘abrdn’? More like ‘cnts’.
Nominated by: Geordie Twatt
A bloke goes into a Tesco store to buy a sarnie with cash, only to find that there’s no checkouts with humans anymore. Instead he has to use a self-serve checkout that uses cameras and weight-sensors to work out what items the customer wants to buy.
These self-serve things have been around for years, but now Tesco has gone one stage further by insisting that customers can only buy their items not only by signing up to their loyalty card, but also to download their data-intrusive app to your phones and pay electronically.
Tesco is trialling these new cashless stores – calling them “GetGo” – for people who don’t have time or inclination to pay with cash. In other words its probably aimed at the smartphone generation who don’t care about what personal information is being farmed whenever they use the loyalty cards or the Tesco app via their phones.
Critics also feel that this is going to be the “dystopian” future with all supermarkets and retailers shedding hundreds of their staff in favour of self-serve checkouts. At the same time valuable personal information from their customers will be used and probably sold to third parties so that the shopper will be assailed with spam and cold callers.
Returning to the bloke who couldn’t buy a sarnie the old fashioned way, Tesco responded in a rather aloof way, more or less implying that if he doesn’t like it he can fuck off elsewhere. Quote:-
“We want everyone to feel welcome in our stores and we’re really sorry to hear that Mr Rowson was not happy with his experience at our GetGo store in Holborn, central London. This store trial uses technology to offer a checkout-free experience, giving customers the opportunity to shop and pay without scanning a product or using a physical checkout. This saves time for those who want to pop in to pick up something for lunch or grab dinner on their way home.”
This is all very well, but technology quite often fails, especially during power outages (which could be on the way come winter). And then what? How do you pay without power?
If anyone has seen Tom Cruise’s 2002 sci-fi film “Minority Report” you’ll recall that pedestrians/drivers were being constantly monitored and tracked via CCTV and shoppers electronically data-farmed by what they were buying, how much and where from.
20 years on and here we are…
Nominated by: Technocunt
Hugh Jackman is a cunt, isn’t he.
There’s always been something poncey about this aloof twinkletoes. It’s as if he genuinely considers himself to be talented, rather than the half-trick cunt he is. Whether he’s dressing up as a cat for spotty teenagers in endless noisy X-Men films, singing like an amputee in Les Mis, or any of the other forgettable turds he’s done, he’s fucking tedious. He’s so dreary, he makes Tom Hanks look exciting. Why does he stare at his claws as if he forgot he had them?
Has nobody told him or Nicole Kidman that they’ve only been cast to flog cinema seats to the Convicts down under?
The only decent film he’s been in is The Prestige and not because of Huge Arseman; it would’ve been even better without this dead-eyed, tiresome fop.
Recently, he decided to advertise Bill Gates’s latest book about climate change:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dMGC6kw6nKA
Despite owning yachts and his own private aeroplane, Jack-off doesn’t see the hypocrisy in wagging a book on climate change in your face. Stick your claws up your jacksie.
Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous
Morgan Trowland is a Fucking Cunt
This beardy Civil Engineer from London is responsible for the closure of the Dartford Crossing with his breathtakingly selfish Just Stop Oil protest. For those who are not aware, this wanker and a friend (a Teacher apparently) have scaled the cable stays and have strapped themselves to them, resulting in the closure of the bridge crossing.
MSM reports are now saying the closure of the bridge crossing will be “for the foreseeable”. S137 of the Highways Act 1980 confirms the following Penalty for wilful obstruction:
“If a person, without lawful authority or excuse, in any way wilfully obstructs the free passage along a highway he is guilty of an offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 51 weeks or a fine or both.”
Once these cunts are in a condition where hospitalisation is the only option, they should be given 51 week sentences, with no reprieve and each fined £250,000 as a small offering to the millions of pounds of financial losses suffered, through transport delays resulting from their egotistical cuntery.
Personally I’d shoot the cunts where they are suspended and let the crows peck at their sorry remains.
I am a Civil Engineer too, but I like to think I am not a cunt like Trowland and his chum. Yes, the world needs to reduce its dependency on oil, but this is really not helpful in any way, shape or form.
Construction Enquirer News Link
The cunt should have any professional qualifications revoked by the Engineering Council (assuming he is professionally qualified), as he has failed to meet the requirements, i.e.:
Engineering professionals should:
• act in a reliable and trustworthy manner
• be alert to the ways in which their work and behaviour might
affect others and respect the privacy, rights and reputations of
other parties and individuals
Engineering professionals have a duty to obey all applicable laws
and regulations and give due weight to facts, published standards
and guidance and the wider public interest.
They should:
hold paramount the health and safety of others and draw
attention to hazards
What else can I add – oh, did I say that Trowland is a complete and utter selfish, shitstain?
Fuck off.
Nominated by: Paul Maskinback
And talking of “Just Stop Oil” here’s one from CuntyMort
Just stop oil. Today two of these eco loonies climbed up the Dartford crossing closing the road for eight fucking hours. What the fuck is wrong with these cunts? It is now the time to lock up these fucking wankers for a meaningful length of time. Plod should have given the cunts ONE warning then shot the tossers off the supports.
It is about fucking time XR Just stop Oil and any other eco loonies were made illegal organisations.