Cars, they deserve a cunting.

I’ve recently bought a new car, a small but roomy little bugger, very cheap to run too. But..the fucking price of them now. The prices are sky high and don’t get me started on those effing electric cars, ludicrous amounts they are, for the privilege of driving a few miles then spending ages looking for somewhere to plug the cunt in. At least I can fill mine up easily.

Also, let’s talk about technology. For fucks sake, do we really need what’s rammed into them nowadays. Those massive computer screens on some look awfully distracting, mine has a little screen with some basic shit on it and that’s bad enough. At least mine has separate controls for the heater, most are now built into the screens so it’s a bastard to alter on the move.

I can see lots of accidents, ”I’ve no idea how I hit that bus up the chuff officer, one minute I was scrolling though menus and submenus to turn the vibrating ball sack feature off after I’d shot my bolt, the next I’m looking at the arse end of a bus” Fucking barmy, and not needed.

Cunts.

Nominated by: Bertram Cuntatious DCO

(Never fear: give it a few more years and most of us will be using horse and carts – Day Admin)

Carol Vorderman is a cunt, bare with me on this, she is a cunt because she is at max attention seeking level most of the time.

There is trend for over the hill mutton to get a shit load of plastic surgery, head to toe and then push for a last gasp on the career, do all sorts of racey pics, for shitty pr cunts who say things like CV is the most beautiful woman in the world,,,, wait, what are you having a fucking laugh, I bet she has more seams than a patchwork quilt, I’m surprised she hasn’t got a goaty, she’s had facelifts to the point we’re her snatch must be almost up to her chin by now, and yet she still has that wayward eye, again maybe one side of the face is tighter than the other.

There are lots of others playing to same surgery game followed by shameless attention seeking, Devina Mc Call, Amanda Holden, Claudia Wrinklman, Holly Willaby and countless others.

Some of you will disagree of course, but rather that self serving, over the hill attention seeking, TV slebs doing adds for old people in tight outfits claiming to be the most beautiful woman in the world, I think they need to stop, look around, see some of the actual most beautiful women in the world and realise, I’m a celebrity get me out of here looms soon enogh, and when the career has been fully milked there will always be an ex husband and kids who hardly know them……. The most beautiful woman in the world…. Cunt

Daily Star News Link

Nominated by Fuglyucker

We need immigrants.We need them because our own people are unwilling to do the “shitty” jobs….we have the graduates who are too educated to dirty their hands…we have the “full-time Mummies” who sponge benefits while raising ill-mannered brats…we have the ill-disciplined youths who would be a liability on a work-site ( if they ever bothered turn up)..we have the professional “neither work nor want” class happy to leech off taxpayers.

We need immigrants to work in the nursing homes, in the fields,on the building sites,in the supermarkets,in the cafes etc. because we allow our own “needy” people to opt out of working just because they don’t fancy the job or are too physically unfit to do a hard day’s graft.

Unpalatable as it may be,without immigrants we would grind to a halt….and it is our own fault for allowing laziness,weakness,a sense of self-entitlement and arrogance to infect so many of our own working-age people.

Nominated by: Foxchaser-Fiddler

A cunting for luvvies and arts funding.

English National Opera are losing their funding and having it redistributed.
The luvvies are weeping about it, forgetting there is only so much cash in the coffers for ‘The Arts’ and most of that gets spunked on ugly sculptures, installations and festooning ‘public spaces’ in gayblack propaganda

BBC News Link

To keep things fair, slash funding for all of our cultural institutions, as they’ve been taken over by Year Zero Maoist cunts anyway. What better way to begin Austerity part 2 by making cuts to repulsive bullshit the public pay for but never really benefit from. This should include the defunding of the beeb, dismantling of Channel Bore and all of these fart-sniffing bodies always trying to blag a grant for making films about black muslim single mothers (a mate of mine went to an event on film funding from arts counciils, Basically you get cash if you fill your film with blacks, quares and cripples and make it about social issues, nothing that will ever make money or anyone not associated with the production or arts council would ever see)

Keep some money for The Natural History Museum, Gallery etc but most of the cash should be given to the Armed Forces and a barrier along the south coast.

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

Saunas are abominations.

Why would anyone want to pay £15.00 to be trapped in a tiny steaming hot hell hole, sweating buckets, in close contact with other humans sweating grease, ooze and dirt out of their bodies. What is the fun in sitting in an unbearably hot room, so thick with acrid humidity that one can’t breathe?

This hellish health treatment originated in Finland. After the war, German soldiers brought the habit back to Germany and Austria, where it became popular in the second half of the 20th century. Compared to fighting in a Nazi battalion, I suppose it would seem pleasant – but only marginally so. Those dastardly Finns have even installed a sauna in a ferris wheel in Helsinki. It’s called the SkySauna. My definition of hell is to be trapped in the Sky Sauna, 200 feet above the grim Helsinki cityscape, my life ebbing away in a cloud of boiling acrid steam, with half a dozen overweight sweating Finns. In what parallel universe could this even be considered desirable?

My wife loves saunas and would like to install one in the house. I’d prefer an extension to my garage. At least there I can breathe in beautiful petrol fumes – vastly preferable to a sauna.

Saunas are cunts.

https://www.skysauna.fi

The Grauniad Link.

Nominated by: MMCM