Joey Barton

Posted on June 11, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Joey Barton is a multi channel world class cunt who has outlets on twitter, red tops, internet sports sites, and now available on tv via question time. If you have never heard of him, then lucky you, and search his name online, for the lifetime of cuntery that he has dedicated himself to.

He is the triple threat of thuggery, espousing ill conceived opinions, and mediocrity in his chosen career.

Nominated by: The Oncoming Fart

Joey Barton is indeed a cunt… Why he thinks that people are interested in anything he says, that he has anything interesting to say at all and that he thinks he is actually intelligent is anyone’s guess….

A horrible, whining little gobsgite and a substandard footballer: Barton has the nerve to call Ryan Giggs a “wrong’un”… OK Giggsy has got up to some extra-curricular shagging, but Barton (when at Man City) stubbed a cigar out in the face of a City youth team player.
And that’s not the only bit of nastiness Barton has got up to.

As for his Question Time appearance, firstly: What the fuck was he doing on it in the first place? Has the BBC sunk that low?! Second: Joey Barton calling anyone ugly is like Oasis telling another band that they shouldn’t rip off other acts too much…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Birders

Posted on June 10, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Why do birders have cameras with such massive lenses? Is because they have small dicks? Probably…

Just spent two weeks in the Russian Far East with a group containing several twitchers. Picture it: There we are floating in a little rubber boat of the coast of Kamchatka watching brown bears on the shoreline. Cameras are clicking away furiously. Suddenly the bloke at the front of the boat swings his 500mm penis substitute around nearly knocking me out of the boat. Fuck the bears! He’s spotted a seagull and simply has to have as photo to prove it.

A few days later we are floating around in a little rubber boat with a driver who’s a bird expert. We are admiring sea lions. We’re in the wrong boat. The driver decides to hair off downstream to find some birds. Do we see any? Not really. There’s apparently a reed warbler in the bushes in winter plumage – but you can’t quite see it from here!!!

Don’t get me wrong. I like birds. But some of these guys are just cunts!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Rik Mayall

Posted on June 9, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Bugger it to hell! Missed another dead cunt…

News yesterday that Rik Mayall died at the age of 56. Now you might say that one should not speak ill of the dead, but I’m having none of that. As far as I’m concerned the seriously unfunny cunt is now just a seriously unfunny dead cunt. Simples!

Seen above, Mayall is pictured with another seriously unfunny cunt, Ade Edmonson. Apparently they used to be great mates until they fell out. Don’t know over what, but could it possibly be that someone suggested they do something that’s actually funny?

Nominated by: Dioclese

And while we’re at it :

This is a pre-emptive re-cunting of Stephen Fry as I’m sure it’s only a matter of minutes before he posts something about Rik Mayall’s death on Twitter.

Nominated by: Fred West

Nespresso

Posted on June 9, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Don’t get me wrong, I like decent coffee. None of the cardboard cup Starfuck’s shit for me! But FFS will somebody please shoot the pretentious little shit that Nespresso have writing their sales and marketing blurb?

Here’s an example of their latest shite that hit my mat in this morning’s post : “The new Fortissio Lungo Grand Cru is a symphony of length and intensity” Grand Cru? It’s fucking coffee FFS!

It goes on : “The coffee beans are exposed to monsoon winds after harvest to recreate the conditions of the long sea journey to Europe in the age of sailing ships.” Translation? They’re left lying around for a while before they’re processed.

Whoever this cunt is, he should be right at home with George Clooney who’s another pretentious cunt.

Check this out : An aspirational lifestyle

There. Got it off me chest. Time for a coffee…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Plastic Paddies

Posted on June 8, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

The Ireland team of the 70s and 80s was shit, and nobody (especially in Ireland itself) gave a fuck. Then that ex-Leeds cunt, Jack Charlton, ropes in a load of Englishmen (and the mighty Paul McGrath) to play for the Irish and they get to the 1990 World Cup. Astonishingly they get to the quarter finals and these Irish ‘fans’ come crawling out of the woodwork.

Then four years later (USA 94) the whole world is infested with these ‘lifelong’ Irish fans who think football started in 1990. They were all over the place: Celebrities, journos, comedians, members of U2 and so on. None of them ever showing any interest in football, but all of a sudden part of Big Jack’s green and white army Seriously: in the mid 90s you couldn’t move for the bastards.

Fast forward to 2014: The Irish team is shite again, once more nobody gives a fuck and all their showbiz arselicking Plastic Paddy lifelong fans are nowhere to be seen. Gloryhunting, bandwagon jumping Plastic Paddy cunts!

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside