Dead Pool [12]


* * * * RULES UPDATE * * * *
After an extensive public consultation exercise, the management – well, me actually – have decided to increase the allowable cunt count from three to five and leave it there. It has been pointed out that it drags on a bit otherwise! So fill yer boots…

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Dioclese (ME!!!!) who correctly guessed the next dead cunt would be investigative journalist Chapman Pincher who died on 5th August at the age 100. A man who was hated by the establishment for managing to get to shed loads of their dirty washing. You can read his obit here

So, it would seem that I’m pretty damn good at predicting dead cunts (that’s my 4th) and thanks to Fred West for pointing out that the media coverage was so underwhelming that nobody noticed he’d died!

The slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 12. Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. The winner gets a dedicated Dead Pool Champion guest post on the subject of his/her choice and kudos of cuntishness aplenty. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

45 thoughts on “Dead Pool [12]

  1. Getting my three in quick…

    Wilko Johnson (although I hope I lose!)
    Billy Graham
    Kirk Douglas

  2. I don’t mind Sir Limply taking my credit for alerting ISAC to Pincher’s death…

  3. Ian Watkins
    Anjem Choudary
    BB King ( as with Wilco Johnson I hope I don’t win with him though)

    • Share your views on BB King – although I do reckon he’s overrated, he’s still pretty good. Choudary would be an excellent result!

  4. Mohammed Ali, Olivia deHavilland, Lord Luvvie Dickie Attenborough if you please.

    • I see you have “borrowed” Dickie Attenborough from me from the previous Pool. Claimjumping. Noted for future reference.

      So I’ll take Acker Bilk, Denis Healey and Jean Alexander (Hilda Ogden) again.

      • Bit rich old sport. Pot calling the kettle Congoid ect ect. Mine was the virgin nomination many many pools ago. Had a spot of inside info from the luvvie’s care home which has yet to pay orf. Since then me “virgin” has been borrowed repeatedly. Only fair I have him back again so hard cheddar and fuck orf. On second thoughts don’t care a fuck about fair, just fuck orf.

  5. i would like to nominate Millie Fuckin Macintosh, an uber cunt whose inherited lots of money from daddies tarmacing business.

    she is desperate to elevate herself to the level of a kardashian cunt, she reeks of it.

    Got the “rockstar” hubby (Professor Fuckin Green) and always posting utterly pointless selfies on twitter which for some reason gets press inches.

    shes vain and affected and i despise her (and her cunt husband,buts thats another nom)

  6. Henry Kissinger (chokes on a fried baby leg)
    Tony Blair (catches Ebola from Sherry’s rotting cunt)
    Marian Shields Robinson (the sponging old cunt is strangled by a White House cook)

    • I respectfully refer you to the rules : “Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored.” so make up a name you lazy cunt!

  7. Rolf Harris (The cunt will top himself)
    Oscar Pistorius (The cunt will top himself)
    Sir Anthony Hopkins (I’ll top the cunt)

  8. Cliff Richard (Aids or stabbed by a kid with a sore arse)
    Ian Paisley (Aids or stabbed by a kid with a sore arse and sore throat)
    Baby Peggy (a dirty Hollywood whore who’s been selling her holes since 1919)

  9. I’m going for Richard O’Sullivan (‘Twat about the house’), Miley Cyrus (I live in hope) and one of the Nolan sisters- I don’t care which one.

  10. Awoke to an outpouring of simpering eulogies…greatest man that ever lived…a light has gone out in the world ect ect. Fuck me, Mother Teresa must have been born again, had the change and died again. But not so, turns out the airwaves have turned the colour of liquid shite on account orf that hairy little cunt Robin Williams. The alleged actor/comedian jasper has topped himself and not had the grace to post the video on YouTube therebye depriving the world of seeing the cunt actually do something funny for the first time in his life.

  11. Fucking hell – I had Lauren Bacall when we were allowed five! Webmaster reduces it to three choices and now Lauren Bacall snuffs it! Fuck!!!

    • You did indeed have her in the last pool Fred. Sorry about that but we acknowledge your foresight with this honourable mention in despatches!

      I know the feeling. It’s happened to me twice. Right person – wrong pool!

      Perhaps we should make them cumulative with maybe an option to add one or two each new pool? Any opinions?…

      • Rather like the old football pools dear heart? The Dead Pool Pools, perm any 3 out orf ten ect ect. Any idea capital that gives extended baggsieship orf one’s own original noms. Some orf us – no names no pack drill – make a point of noodling out new candidates, only to find if one has been a little previous, and one’s favoured stiffs have had to be let go due to say, some rule change, they get snaffled by the dumb arsed lower order orf cunt that frequent this august blog like poxy scavengers turning over a cess pit.
        Or we just keep the number at five to encourage the genus common cunt to try and think orf its own candidates. More fresh blood (all be it a tad on the turgid side) good for the pool donchathink? Stop the bally pool getting too inbred.

        With me lineage pre-dating the Conquest I know whereof I speak.

  12. I’m going for the duke of Edinburgh decrepped old cunt, Paul Gascoigne alcoholic liver ravaged cunt and Eric Idle old unfunny cunt

  13. Here’s my 3
    Luise Rainer, Actress 104, should be dead by now. (might be getting close to being the worlds oldest woman).

    Fidel Castro. Commie Cuban cunt.
    George Bush (senior). ex president and father to an even bigger cunt.

  14. I need to drop someone to get Cliff Michelmore in there, who I didn’t realise was 94 (cheers, Wayne Fontana for that)

    Whoever I drop will be the next dead pool winner, I reckon, but unless the numbers rules change soon it’s got to be done. So Hilda Ogden is back on the market.

    • Put Michelmore back in for you, Eye. Number now 5. Seems to be everybody general preference and who am I to argue?

  15. James Alexander Gordon is dead…

    Nobody used to read the football results like he did. Now they get any weedy voiced cunt (including women!) to do it…

  16. Freddie the CUNT Starr, he looked fucked the last time I saw him.
    Stewart (the kiddie fiddler) Hall, hopefully some cunt will do him.
    George Bush, don’t care which one, they are both Cunts.

  17. I see that some cunt stole George Bush, so replace it will Dick Cheney, the famous bomb supplier. He has had a few heart attacks, so perhaps God will be good and drop the hammer on the Cunt.

    • Works for me – I’ll update the header. I tend to start lower and then increase the allowance if it looks like it’s going to run too long but 5 seems fair. I’ll just leave it there in future unless anyone objects?

  18. Just heard Paul Gascoigne’s back on the piss again ! I nominated him earlier this month. Fingers crossed I might be onto a winner here !

  19. Here’s my extra two :

    Gough Whitlam the ex-Oz PM
    Peter O’Sullivan the racing commentator

    and in case you’re wondering, there are currently 45 people on the list. Must be a loser there somewhere…

  20. My extra two as follows:

    Leslie Phillips (Carry On Cunt) now enjoying a stroke and
    Anthony Armstrong Jones (survived many years married to Princess Margaret) now doolally with alzheimers’

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