Paul McCartney [4]

Posted on August 8, 2015 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

I remember being in the car with my dad in 1976…. I nearly burnt my hand off just by touching the dashboard… But it was a great time (although Bobby Stokes is still offside!)…

Paul McCartney is being a bit of a cunt… In the latest Esquire magazine (why don’t they put birds on the cover any more?) he goes on about how people went on about how John Lennon was the important one in The Beatles after his murder… That’s what happens to cultural figures when they die (even Michael Jackson): people eulogise and go overboard… The evaluation of The Beatlles as a unit has changed and balanced out since 1980…. Yet he still goes on about it….

Then there’s him (still) yacking on about changing the songwriting credits to Lennon & McCartney songs…. What does it matter? Keith Richards solely wrote ‘Ruby Tuesday’, yet Keef doesn’t whine on saying it should just say ‘Richards’ or even ‘Richards/Jagger’… The Glimmer Twins agreed a two way split on their songs as Jagger/Richards and they’ve stuck to it… Macca moans about John being credited for ‘Yesterday’, but I still don’t see him saying ‘And I Love Her’ was a ‘McCartney/Harrison’ song (George came up with the famous acoustic guitar riff) or ‘Eleanor Rigby’ as ‘McCartney/Starkey’ (Richie thought up the ‘Father McKenzie’ verse)…. A tad hypocritical, I’d say….

Nominated by: Norman

James Bolam

Posted on August 7, 2015 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Bolam is a bastard cunt. Put the bollocks in a period theatrical production many moons ago. Complained continually. Miserable old sod.

Made life a nightmare for the costume girls and always demanded freshly laundered tights for each act. Point is if you are a professional actor type cunt you are always nice to the costume people or else accidents can happen. The old bitch was particularly getting orn the tits orf one orf the girls so she dressed him in baggy wet tights for the opening orf the second act which allowed him no opportunity to get orf and change ’em.

Said cunt was reduced to waddling around bow legged orn stage trying to keep his tights up and deal with a baggy wet crotch. Audience found his performance hilarious as did I. Needless Bolam blew a gasket after. Amazing how quickly a company can melt away into the night after a show. Bolam was left to peel orf his own damp tights. Miserable fucker.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Dead Pool [22]

Posted on August 6, 2015 by All Seeing Eye

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *

Congratulations to Entopy who predicted the demise of George Cole – best known as Arthur Daley in Minder. If you haven’t read his autobiography The World Was My Lobster you should do.

Despite being both a cockney and also in the RAF he wasn’t a complete cunt.

So well played, Entopy. Your prize – his and hers matching bathrobes – are in the post.

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 22.

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Team Building

Posted on August 6, 2015 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

I think most have had to endure the indignity of the out of office “team building day”

The evil harpies in Human Resources spend the entire year plotting how to put people into non functioning disparate teams, just for this one day of humiliation. It’s a bit like the hunger games but with string and ping pong balls.

But a constant of the universe means in any given dysfunctional team, there will be one control freak who “knows” how to make a bridge out of paper and spit.

The rest of us fuck off to the bar, trying to work out the seemingly intractable problem of getting the knickers off Tracey from accounting

Nominated by: Andy C

Red light jumpers

Posted on August 5, 2015 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

I think its about time for a special counting of those city dwelling cunts who don’t understand the principle of a controlled junction, or Traffic Lights for all the mouth breathers out there.

The three lights all have meaning as can be referenced in the Highway Code, sections 174, 175, and 176 specifically, and the lines painted on the road all mean something too. All drivers know these rules because you were tested on it before your licence was issued, so either you have a mental problem and should not be driving, or you are a dangerous cunt and should not be driving. Unless of course you are a Pakistani taxi driver; you probably got your licence by collecting tokens from Southern Fried Chicken joints so this cunting does not apply to you, you are already a set of weapons grade, desert bandit cunts (when you are not gang raping young, vulnerable children).

I am unfortunate enough to be living in the Socialist Republic of South Yorkshire, fuckers are a bit thick here, either that or they are militant lefty cunts, who think the traffic light system is scheme devised by Tory scum to keep them down, and under no circumstance will some tory try and tell them when and where to stop. As the stop light is Red, these knuckle dragging turd gurglers also assume that as its the colour of their beloved Labour Party therefore they are allowed to proceed as they were, regardless of whomever might have had the down right indignation to try and cross the junction on the green light.

This specific cock smoker in a twat panzer today proceeded to give me the finger for turning right in front him after the light had been red for at least 5 seconds because my filter was already green, before he continued on through the red light. Maybe he gave me the finger because he was signalling that this was what his wife is likely getting from the golf pro whilst he was flogging his arse in middle management trying to appear affluent to the other carbon copy, deeply affected, suburban lackwits. He was clearly an idiot, because the golf pro was more likely fisting his tunnel cunt wife. Thats 5 fingers, not 1. Or 4 and a thumb if you want to be pedantic.

Red means STOP, you teutonic fucking neanderthal cunts. And if it happens again this week, I might have to get all Kenny Noye on these fuckers.

Nominated by: The Captain