James Bolam


Bolam is a bastard cunt. Put the bollocks in a period theatrical production many moons ago. Complained continually. Miserable old sod.

Made life a nightmare for the costume girls and always demanded freshly laundered tights for each act. Point is if you are a professional actor type cunt you are always nice to the costume people or else accidents can happen. The old bitch was particularly getting orn the tits orf one orf the girls so she dressed him in baggy wet tights for the opening orf the second act which allowed him no opportunity to get orf and change ’em.

Said cunt was reduced to waddling around bow legged orn stage trying to keep his tights up and deal with a baggy wet crotch. Audience found his performance hilarious as did I. Needless Bolam blew a gasket after. Amazing how quickly a company can melt away into the night after a show. Bolam was left to peel orf his own damp tights. Miserable fucker.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

41 thoughts on “James Bolam

  1. The cunt also refused to permit repeats of The Likely Lads in order to financially inconvenience his less successful co-star Rodney Bewes with whom he has a long running feud.

    • Not seen Rodney Bewes on the Telly since a mid 80’s appearance in Dr Who (when it was worth watching)….

    • A long time ago, I shared a train ride from London to Manchester with Rodney Bewes. I actually asked him if the rumours about Bolam being a nasty bastard were true. He gave me a little smile and said, “I cannot deny those rumours”. And after a short pause he added, “nor can I CONFIRM them”.

  2. The miserable cunt has not spoken to Rodney Bewes since he last worked with him in 1976…The reason being Bewes told a reporter that Bolam’s wife was pregnant.. Hardly a cause to shut someone out for over 40 years, for fuck’s sake….

    Bolam also refuses to talk about The Likely Lads and threatens to walk out if any interviewer even mentions it… The old sod should think himself lucky that he was in such a good show (because it was)… Similar cases are Pauline McLynn (a proper cunt) refusing to talk about Father Ted and Frances De La Tour, who now makes out Rising Damp never existed…

    • McLynn apparently showed her arse and tits in that Shameless crap. She’ll be doing it for free when the repeat fees dry up.

      • There was a tenth anniversary show about Ted (also to commemorate Dermot Morgan’s death)…. Ardal O’ Hanlon (Dougal), Frank Kelly (Jack) and Jim Norton (Bishop Brennan) all turned up and appeared… McLynn got all snotty and refused to take part… She was involved in that Shameless shite at the time… One thing I hate is actors who get a good break in comedy and then later renounce it as it isn’t ‘serious’ or highbrow enough…. Snobs…

      • It’s also worth noting that she was the least funny of the regular Father Ted cast, by a long way.

  3. Martin Shaw used to have the same attitude towards The Professionals, but eventually relented and okayed repeats of the show when told that Gordon Jackson’s widow was desperately short of cash.

    • One of the original 3 Litre Ford Capris used in The Professionals was tracked down and restored recently by a Capri club member and Shaw himself visited the chap and autographed the engine bay. He has definitely softened his attitude a bit, maybe due to poor old Lewis Collins (The man who should have been Bond) turning his toes up rather prematurely and partly due to the huge fan following that The Professionals still (rightly) commands.

      • I agree that Lewis should have been 007… The producers apparently said that Lewis as Bond would be too dark and aggressive… But now we have Daniel Craig doing a Bond based on Collins as Bodie in The Professionals… I am glad Martin Shaw has changed his mind about The Professionals… It was a top show…

        David Duchovny did something similar with The X Files… For years he got grumpy about talking about it, whereas his co-star, Gillian Anderson, has always been OK with it… Now David is comfortable with it and a new series is imminent… That said though, his change in outlook might have something to do with Anderson having loads of post X Files success and Duchovny having next to fuck all…

      • Yup – the man who should have been Bond. The world would be far better off without those two final Roger Moore Bond movies, not to mention the pair of Timothy Dalton duds.

      • Call me a sentmental old perve if you like but have always had a sneaking regard for George Lazanby’s single pop at Bond, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Hit by tsunamis orf shite at the time and his accent was at best suspect yet despite being a former model, could wear a kilt without looking like a pooftah. Has a delightfully amateur dedicated web site:

      • Completely agree with you regarding Roger Moore, he turned all his Bond films into pantomimes which just became sadder as the cunt got older. I actually rated Dalton, good actor but fucking terrible films, not really his fault. Lewis Collins would have been fucking shit though, wooden as lacking subtlety. Despite what people might think Bond is a complex character ( read the books ) and requires an adept actor to pull it off. As for Lazenby, fuck me but he was terrible, but the film was one of the best.

      • I liked Dalton as Bond, but I do think Lewis Collins should have got it…. Lazenby was apparently a cunt… Diana Rigg said he was a nightmare to work with and a ‘shit….’

        I liked James Coburn in the ‘Flint’ movies…. Sacrilege to have a yank 007, but Coburn would have been a good one…

      • Personally I’d take The Spy Who Loved Me over junk like Quantum of Solace any day. Cutting and pasting a tuxedo onto a Bourne movie…. UGH!!

      • Watched Never Say Never Again today…. Better than Octopussy and A View To A Kill… The idea of Connery as an aging Bond one a last assignment worked.. He didn’t go over the top like Roger Moore in his last films… ‘Never’ also had Barbara Carrera and a young Kim Basinger…. Lovely…

    • I remember that, Fred… Lewis Collins gave Shaw a bollocking: telling him that Gordon Jackson’s widow was suffering financially… Shaw (like Bolam) now sees himself as a ‘serious actor’ and now views his role as Doyle as beneath him…. I thought The Professionals was brilliant….

      Mick Jagger went up his own arse in the 80s…. He thought he was going to be a big solo star (but his solo records were crap!), signed a big money solo deal wtthout telling the other Stones, and began to get uppity about being asked about the Rolling Stones… At one point he even refused to acknowledge Brian Jones (merely snorting to a journalist, ‘That’s the past!’)
      and he really got up Keith’s nose when he said in The Sun, ‘The Rolling Stones are a millstone around my neck!’ It didn’t stop Jagger doing a solo tour and singing all the Stones classics though…

      • “Completely agree with you regarding Roger Moore, he turned all his Bond films into pantomimes which just became sadder as the cunt got older. I actually rated Dalton, good actor but fucking terrible films, not really his fault. Lewis Collins would have been fucking shit though, wooden as lacking subtlety. Despite what people might think Bond is a complex character ( read the books ) and requires an adept actor to pull it off. As for Lazenby, fuck me but he was terrible, but the film was one of the best. ”

        I agree with every word Fat Rich wrote, which is weird.

  4. Note that alleged kiddie fumbler Greville Janner must appear before magistrates at Westminster Magistrates Court. His briefs were arguing that Janner was not fit due to advanced alzheimers and the experience would prove too traumatic for the poor cunt. Chief Magistrate Howard Riddle has ruled that however “traumatic” the experience may prove, a man with such pronounced alleged brain shite will simply not remember it therefore no lasting damage. Nice judgement Riddle, despite the Carry ON name you must be related to me. Let’s do what we did to such cunts in the eighteenth century. Hang the cunt. Won’t do him any harm, he won’t remember it.

    • Cunt. Plain and simple. Fucking cunt. If he hadn’t been a lawyer he’d have been in court decades ago. They look after their own.

    • If Janner has been as ill as his lawyers claim for as long his lawyers claim, how come he’s been voting in the House of Lords, claiming his attendance expenses and signing official House of Lords paperwork? Hang the kiddy-fiddling cunt.

  5. i find this stuff about ted heath hard to believe. if it happened at all it must have been years before he was famous because once he was he would have had 24hr protection, hard to get up to much in that situation. having said that i remember reading somewhere that he took boys from Jersey care homes on board his boat had his evil way with them and then threw them overboard. was he on board by himself? what did the crew make of that?. the internet is great but it does give all sorts of dingbats a platform. present company excepted of course.

    • I believe it. I had a Saturday job in a West End hairdressers when I was a teenager and vividly recall overhearing a furtive, whispered conversation about “rent boys for Ted Heath”.

      On a side note, I’m pleased to report that our favourite Crisis Actor Cunt, Chris Spivey has begun posting again – and what an incoherent rant it is! He takes aim at his lawyers, his conviction, his arrest, the media etc etc – the cunt even invokes the last refuge of the guilty claiming that his human rights have been violated. What a sad cunt. I hope they bang him up for years and he tops himself.

      • And when he gets to Hell he will be bummed for all eternity by the demon spirits of Ted Heath and Jimmy Saville wearing rusty spiked iron strapons…..

    • world in action
      70´s anyone remember” johnny come home” about the runaway boys at pick a willy circus
      theme tune was classic

    • Ted Heath : “Officer, I wish to be left alone tonight”.
      Copper : “I’m sorry, Prime Minister, I can’t abandon my post. This is the 1970s after all, a decade renowned for excellence in policing”.

      • Heath will have had similarly inclined coppers in his pocket… Just like Savile and Cyril Smith…

  6. re chris spivey. there are 2 seperate aspects here surely. firstly i think we can all agree most of his articles were absolutely idiotic, the current hearings into the glasgow bin lorry crash serves to illustrate that, but secondly isnt he being stitched up?. sure looks like that to me.

    • Stitched up? Only if you believe his version of events. And given the cunt’s track record on facts and veracity, I’d say that’s pretty fucking doubtful.

      • Spivey is a fucking loon…. The bigger the hole he digs for himself, the further he will drop…

    • I think Spivey is onto something claiming the Alton Towers roller coaster accident was a false flag staged by crisis actors. I mean it’s obvious .( to be read in a voice dripping with Sarcasm )

  7. Australia IX, thought they would come over here and pull our pants down, did you? I bet the last time the convict fucking scum were thrashed so comprehensively was Gallipoli, and that was against a bunch of rag heads!

  8. Bolam, what a monumental prick, Fuck the Likely Lads, usual fucking BBC shite lauded as seminal, fucking terminal more like.
    Fucking Gerodies are bad enough, but 2 actors pretending to be Geordies is shite, I bet Gazza & Jimmy 5 Bellies are fucking fuming dan tha toon

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