Let’s be honest. It was never going to work in the age of the perpetually offended.

News just in the Ed Sheeran puppet has been reworked to remove the carrot growing out of top of his head. Why is this? Well, it seems that they have responded to complaints that it is regarded as offensive to that well known ethnic minority – people with ginger hair.

What’s the fucking point of reviving a highly satirical show like Spitting Image if you going to worry that it will offend people? Isn’t that the whole point of the show?

So, Spitting Image, you are a sad reflection of your former glorious self and a total cunt.

(Harry Hewitt the Ginga Ninja will be issuing a supportive statement shortly. Now there’s a cunt for another day…)

Nominated by: Dioclese 

I think e.sign needs a mega bit cunting.

e sign is signing documents online for things like buying new sofas on finance and the like.

I spent an afternoon today with fucking steam coming out of my ears, veins popping out of my neck and eyes about to fire out of my head, blood pressure was 200 over 500 trying to e,sign a fucking document.

If i’d heard someone say “its easy” or  “i cant see what the problem is, calm down!” one more time, somebody would have been taking a one way trip into space with sparks coming out of their arse.

Why do the cunts make this so difficult?  strong passwords, including capitals, numbers ,symbols in fucking Swahili not strong enough WTF, try this try that after a fucking aneurysm.

i had to walk away and kick something,it would have been easier to drive to the company’s fucking office and sign the papers with my own fucking blood!

So after half and hour with my colouring book and crayons another go and done in 2 minutes.

I’m sure these cunts do this shit for a fucking laugh the cunts…..fuck e,sign treble cunts have shortened my life to less than the term it will take to pay the fucking sofas….

Nominated by: Fuglyucker 

(For those old cunts not boned up on such things – DA https://www.e-sign.co.uk/ )

Pauline Harmange…Er no, me neither!

Well, Mizzzzz Harmange is some ditzy French bird who’s written a book with the very engaging title ‘I Hate Men’. This (you guessed it) rage against ‘the patriarchy’ has the delightful Harmange putting forward the view that ‘women have the right to hate men’.

Now we can take for granted that a book advocating hatred towards any other group in society would immediately generate a firestorm; ‘I Hate Muslims’ for example? Oh, and what about a book with the title ‘I Hate Women’? Goodness me, imagine the wrath of the sisterhood!

I believe in freedom of speech, so I support her right to her opinion, even though she could be deemed to be inciting hatred (and there’s definitely a whiff of toxic femininity here).

Just remember though toots, when it comes back around, and others start letting you know how much they hate YOU (as they will), don’t start whining and bleating about ‘misogyny!’ and ‘hate crime!’.

They’ve got a right to their opinion and they’re expressing it, just the same as you.

Nominated by:Ron Knee

For those musos and vinyl heads on this here website that aren’t aware of this band, Greta Van Fleet is a group of squeaky clean brothers who blatantly rip off Led Zeppelin to the point of near-perfect sonic and stylistic, one-for-one imitation. It’s not even a question of who they are trying to be. It’s practically their gimmick and it’s the controversy that follows them wherever they go.

Leaving behind the fact Led Zep were serial plagiarists themselves, this Disney club of fresh-faced chameleons are deeply guilty of not just taking a few riffs and a chorus here and there. No. they are trying to emulate Zep so brazenly and so unashamedly that when closing your eyes you’d swear you were listening to long-forgotten b-sides from 1970.

Okay, fair enough. Some kids wanna do some LARPing as their rock heroes, you might say. That would be fair. Everyone has their influences and inspiration.

The problem I have is, not just that they have absolutely no authenticity to speak of, it’s that they have fuck all edge, attitude or balls. It’s Soy Rock. It’s Neutered Blues. It’s Eunuch n Roll. And, I’m not just talking about the high register, imitated wails of the singer.

And, they perform with these sorry, half-apologetic, limp faced, feigned enthusiastic looks on their faces because they know they took absolutely zero artistic risks. They are anodyne. It’s Disney kids shit. Total safety.

Even if they were good Led Zep stylists they would still be soulless and empty because they copied a formula without even trying to reserve even one molecule in billions of it for originality or attitude. If they genuinely told me to “get fucked, we love what we do” and owned they are copycats, I could respect them.

But, instead, they cry about the comparisons. They actually tell people to get over it, while with each passing album they go further towards totally photocopying Led Zeps sound and stylings.

Honestly, it’s fucking cringe-inducingly bad. And they are irredeemable cunts. Worse still, I actually know people who like them and would attempt to defend their abhorrent output. But, I put that down to the fact that culture is dying in the modern age and popular music as a whole has generally been utter overproduced, over-hyped, shallow, undigestable swill since the end of the ’90s. We are used to the taste of being served rotting turd with colourful sprinkles on top. So, just lick the surface and you’ll get a nice taste for a second. Just don’t bite down too hard as you’ll just get shit.

Nominated by: Can cunt, will cunt

(More about them from Wiki – DA    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greta_Van_Fleet)

Four postboxes have been painted black to honour black Britons including Sir Lenny Henry and nursing pioneer Mary Seacole.

Yes, Lenny Henry gets a black postbox for his contribution to whiting up, shouting ‘Katanga’ as the ‘African’ as he used to put it, and generally being unfunny as fuck. Puts great black Britons in perspective doesnt it.

Why not a yellow postbox to honour Gwok Wan?
A black & white one to honour tax dodging drivers? Or perhaps accomplished arse tonguers.

We have had some great black Britons, especially sportspeople, but Lenny fucking Henry?

Fuck off.

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble 

…and supported by Liberal Liquidator 

Royal Mail and Blacking up Post Boxes.

In readiness for what is to be a month long orgy of self-loathing, anti-British whitey bashing, Royal Mail have painted four post boxes around the country black, to honour significant figures in the black community for Black History Month.

In another example of patronising virtue signalling from our institutions which will do fuck all for race relations, will ‘da comoonittee’ even know who they are? When was the last time any urban yoot who hangs on the every tweet of Stormzy or Ashly Bingo Banjo even wrote a letter or used a post box? A long dead Crimean war era nurse, a WW1 soldier, some artist and Lenny fucking Henry. A graffiti covered portaloo would have been sufficient for that twat.

Its got to the point where our national mail service is ‘defacing’ its own property and a British cultural icon, recognised around the world, to push another line of woke bullshit while statues of white heroes and leaders are vandalized and torn down. What a country.

,,and another from Cuntybollocks  (aimed at Boris more than anything, but still) 

Fuck me, I’ve just seen the most nauseating video in ages.

The leader of our country has been banging on about ‘Black History Month’. It seems that the blacks get honoured with OBEs for doing normal stuff, like being a nurse or a head teacher. One he went on about was finding and throwing away German bombs in WW2. I thought he was going to say he threw them back to Germany with his bare hands too. While his head was on fire. He then (gasp) got a job in the fire service. Noble jobs, sure he was a top bloke…but fuck me I bet thousands of honkies did the same sort of stuff. Boris made the cunt sound like a cross between Rambo, Superman and RoboCop.

Ok, so sone dark keys had some normal jobs and did some normal stuff. So let’s fucking have the PM big them up then!

Apparently, British history is black history.

And the cunts still won’t vote for you anyway, you honey monster cunt.

What a fucking country.