For those musos and vinyl heads on this here website that aren’t aware of this band, Greta Van Fleet is a group of squeaky clean brothers who blatantly rip off Led Zeppelin to the point of near-perfect sonic and stylistic, one-for-one imitation. It’s not even a question of who they are trying to be. It’s practically their gimmick and it’s the controversy that follows them wherever they go.
Leaving behind the fact Led Zep were serial plagiarists themselves, this Disney club of fresh-faced chameleons are deeply guilty of not just taking a few riffs and a chorus here and there. No. they are trying to emulate Zep so brazenly and so unashamedly that when closing your eyes you’d swear you were listening to long-forgotten b-sides from 1970.
Okay, fair enough. Some kids wanna do some LARPing as their rock heroes, you might say. That would be fair. Everyone has their influences and inspiration.
The problem I have is, not just that they have absolutely no authenticity to speak of, it’s that they have fuck all edge, attitude or balls. It’s Soy Rock. It’s Neutered Blues. It’s Eunuch n Roll. And, I’m not just talking about the high register, imitated wails of the singer.
And, they perform with these sorry, half-apologetic, limp faced, feigned enthusiastic looks on their faces because they know they took absolutely zero artistic risks. They are anodyne. It’s Disney kids shit. Total safety.
Even if they were good Led Zep stylists they would still be soulless and empty because they copied a formula without even trying to reserve even one molecule in billions of it for originality or attitude. If they genuinely told me to “get fucked, we love what we do” and owned they are copycats, I could respect them.
But, instead, they cry about the comparisons. They actually tell people to get over it, while with each passing album they go further towards totally photocopying Led Zeps sound and stylings.
Honestly, it’s fucking cringe-inducingly bad. And they are irredeemable cunts. Worse still, I actually know people who like them and would attempt to defend their abhorrent output. But, I put that down to the fact that culture is dying in the modern age and popular music as a whole has generally been utter overproduced, over-hyped, shallow, undigestable swill since the end of the ’90s. We are used to the taste of being served rotting turd with colourful sprinkles on top. So, just lick the surface and you’ll get a nice taste for a second. Just don’t bite down too hard as you’ll just get shit.
Nominated by: Can cunt, will cunt
(More about them from Wiki – DA https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greta_Van_Fleet)
I read this nom a while back and intrigued, spent 20 minutes watching them on YouTube:
Spot on cunting-reminded me of a film Mrs Cuntfinder likes, “Rock of Ages”, where various twirly types “murder” classic songs.
Happy shopper Zepelin where the guitarist didn’t learn enough theory ……..
7
Never heard of them.
Led Zeppelin is my favourite band of all time
Closely followed by the Who.
Copy all they want for me, ive seen quite a few Led Zep tribute bands good fun!
Obviously never as good but the song remains the same.
😀
7
‘The Who’? I said to a female patient who couldn’t describe properly what was wrong with her;
‘You’ve got a feeling inside, you can’t explain’? A certain kind you, you can’t explain’?
Straight over her fucking head. Comedy gold, wasted.
7
Dizzy in the head and feeling blue?
Things you said well maybe they’re true.
Pissed would be my diagnosis.
4
Cant say anything sbout the nom but i like the cat in the nom pic
Quality
2
Just heard that the blues singer who lives two doors down, died in his sleep last night.
He didn’t wake up this morning….
11
Fuck ‘em, don’t give a fuck. Zeppelin and Pink Floyd, the two most overrated piles of dog shit from that era. I ain’t too keen on Greta Thunderbirds either.
9
Third best selling album of all time (DSoTM) disagrees with you there!
5
I remember ordering Led Zep 2 and Led Zep 4 off Virgin mail-order…fucking Branson delivered them undamaged…the Cunt….over-rated load of wank.
I like Steps cover version of Tragedy…or Arthur Mullard and Hylda Baker’s version of “You’re the one that I want”…now that’s entertainment.
9
Morning Dick.
Do you also like Rolf Harris’s version of Stairway To Heaven? 😂
PS: it must have been your Contrary Personality Disorder (CPD) that drove you to order albums you considered to be an over-rated load of wank.
6
Didn’t know they were wank until I heard them….made the mistake of listening to the recommendation of some clever Cunt who “knew” music.
Did you ever invite Paul Gadd to do a signing at your record shop ?
7
Unfortunately not.
I was a bit sniffy about that sort of teeny-bopper shite in those days. A big mistake with hindsight.
Naturally I now possess several of his albums and a smattering of singles, all picked for a few pence in the local charity shops whilst in there shopping for Lady Creampuff’s clothes.
6
In all seriousness…do you still buy and sell records ? Actual record shops seem to have died a death with the popularity of “t’internet” ? I used to enjoy going to a vintage record shop in Newcastle occasionally but it closed down a couple of years ago…don’t expect the old Cunt who ran it bothers any more.
8
Don’t do a lot of business now. I sold my record shop in 1989, and then my record collection in 1993 (another big mistake) after switching to CD.
Around 8 years ago I painstakingly replaced all my vinyl at a cost of over £12,000 – all first pressings, mostly in near mint condition.
Have now more or less ceased buying and selling music, though recently sold a clutch of ’60s punk /psychedelic compilations on eBay for an obscene profit…
5
CD compilations, not vinyl.
2
No.
Smash of glass and the rumble of boots
Electric train and a ripped up phonebooth
Paint splattered walls and the cry of a tomcat
Lights going out and a kick in the balls
Thats entertainment.
6
I expect you attend a lot of “The Macc Lads” gigs at your WMC ?…Do you have “Chicken in a basket” with a “gutful” of ale pre- gig and then “pogo” until you’re violently ill over the person in front of you ?
Good Morning,Miserable.
4
Hi Dick!
Yes I like the Macc Lads only up the road Macclesfield.
Don’t be so rude!
I can handle my ale!
Im never sick till in the taxi!😀
2
You Jammy cunt.
2
Never heard of them and quite frankly couldn’t give a fuck.
6
Just read a bit on that bastion of info Wikipedia.
“” In a March 2018 interview, Plant cited Greta Van Fleet as one of his favorite up-and-coming bands, saying “they are Led Zeppelin I” and describing Josh as “a beautiful little singer.””
If that’s true what the fuck is Page doing ?
I hope that was Page taking the piss.
2
Can this Greta cook?
Any good at washing?
What the fuck is going on?
3
Never heard of them and half expected a Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute act instead (Ronnie Van Zandt). Had a listen to their new single, My Way, on Youtube. Lead singer sounds like Robert Plant on helium or with his knackers in an apple press.
Just a cacophany of sounds – few key changes or anything inspirational.
More Beavis and Butthead than Led Zep.
4
Beavis & Butthead are cool, hur hur…
4
Sounds like it should be more of a Zappa/Beefheart tribute act. Doubt if the cunts have heard of either of them though.
Plastic twats.
5
Never really cared much for LedZep back in the day, although I did see them in concert at a couple of Brum gigs in the late 70s. They weren’t great as I recall!
Kashmir, was and still is my favourite, but other than that I really couldn’t care less for their output, preferring instead Black Sabbath (another local band)
As for these clowns – let them get on with it. Just a glorified tribute band. Or in today’s modern parlance a reboot band. The media industry is currently rebooting lots of classic films, books and TV shows, so why not do the same with music to please the woke generation.
6
Still owning a badly battered copy of Led Zep. Which still as brill as it was back in the 60s, all stolen blues songs. I really like these young lads, good on them getting rock back to young audiences. Watch live at Red Rocks, you ain’t going to see Zepplin pulling that off. Robert Plant really likes them, say no more. Good morning and fuck off.
3
Zeppelin are my favourite band, I’ve heard this band and i don’t mind them, Zip are never going to produce any new material but the spirt lives on. Whitesnake with Coverdale were often mimicking Zep, Kingdom Come also came very close at times. Plagiarism or imitation or just being heavily influenced?
2
The short-lived Coverdale/Page band produced one surprisingly good album. Page must have tired of the smell of hairspray.
David got to work with another of his heroes. No, not the great Bernie Marsden….. I mean the guv’nor Sir Ritchie Blackmore, ludicrously ignored in all those tributes to Van Halen, who shamelessly ripped him off.
2
There is only ONE true living God – and his name is Steve Hackett
0
S-t-e-v-e H-a-c-k-e-t-t….
That’s a reet funny way to spell Robert Fripp…..
2
My mate told me his dad was born in ’33 and was 45 in ’78.
I said, “That sounds like some sort of record”….
11
Seems to me mediocre has taken over modern life. Music, films, politicians and just about anything else. All safe and most of all doesn’t offend. All mediocre that is except BBC comedy.
That is just plain shite.
6
Does this mean the lead guitarist will be procreating a bunch of poverty striken cross eyed nitwits with several underage pie key groupies? How very rock n roll.
1
I would have loved to see Zeppelin back in the day, but I wouldn’t go to see them now, and not just because there is no Bonham. Plant can’t sing like he used to, so it’s never going to sound like the heyday, I couldn’t even sit through the whole Celebration day concert they did over a decade ago. If you can’t do the music justice, you should knock it on the head.
It’s not just Zeppelin, in fact, they have kept a reasonably quiet profile, unlike shite like the Rolling Stones, who never miss a chance to sell ridiculously overpriced tickets to see a bunch of near cadavers stumble about on stage, heavily reliant on a phalanx of session musicians to play their overrated mediocre shite.
Incidentally, when Eddie Van Halen died last week, I read somewhere that he was voted 8th greatest guitarist by Rolling Stone magazine. I had to look who they deemed to be greater than him, so I had a look. What a load of shite. Keith Richards is number four! Get fucked.
2
Keith Richards isn’t even the best guitarist in The Stones😂
2
Mick Taylor was the best guitarist in the Stones and Brian Jones was responsible for most of the classic early riffs (Little Red Rooster, The Last Time, 19th Nervous Breakdown). Yet Jones is not in the Rolling Stone list. It’s a joke anyway. Those two chord cunts Jack White and Johnny Ramone above Byrds pioneer Roger McGuinn, and the great Paul Kossoff isn’t even in the list. And how the fuck is Keef placed above Ritchie Blackmore, Angus Young, or Eddie Van Halen (RIP)?
4
Both the Alman brothers were better. Zappa, Satriani, Tommy Emmanuel-all far better.
The list was always topped by Hendrix, I have noticed the journalists now put Jimmy page top, then Clapton, then Hendrix.
No way is Clapton better than Hendrix.
2
Mick Taylor really did make them “the greatest rock n roll band in the world” between 1969 and 75. Fabulous musician and I say that as a pretty proficient guitarist myself.
2
Never heard of the cunts, and LZ were never my cup of tea anyway, but I liked this very much and completely agree.
…popular music as a whole has generally been utter overproduced, over-hyped, shallow, undigestable swill since the end of the ’90s. We are used to the taste of being served rotting turd with colourful sprinkles on top. So, just lick the surface and you’ll get a nice taste for a second. Just don’t bite down too hard as you’ll just get shit.
Yes! Too many electronics, too few genuine artists. Not a decent song lyric or an imaginative riff to be found, and the whole effect standardised on a video game soundtrack model. Pokemon for the ears.
When I were a lad, 50-year-old music…prewar music…was hopelessly boring and irrelevant. Nowadays they’re still copying Led Zep ? For the sake of the holy fuck. Half a fucking century.
2
Love led zep, accidentally got into them when I was 13, had a bootlegged copy of LZII. I was just starting out on the bass guitar then, no YouTube of course. I went to the library a got out a copy of the bass tablature and spent weeks in my bedroom playing and rewinding the cassette whilst having the book on my knees. I owe an awful lot to John Paul Jones…
2
Greta Van Who? Has the bullshitting rubber faced extinction rebellion mong in a rock band now? They’ll be shit with a name like that.
Was always a Deep Purple man myself, but Zep were genuinely formidable at their best. John Paul Jones was their secret weapon. Page and Bonham get all the glory, but Jones was the ideas man and the most gifted musician. Page and Plant were cunts to him when they did their ‘Unledded’ 90s reunion. Naming their comeback cash-in ‘No Quarter’ after the Jones masterpiece, yet they didn’t include him. Cunts.
4
Norm-a mate of mine was the sound engineer at those comeback gigs-I turned down the chance to go, instead spending a week in Scotland, shagging. The bird was stunning, with hindsight though..,..
😢
3
Yeh great point about the stupendous John Paul Jones. A great bassist and monumentally important to Led Zep.
Yes (particularly) and the Who never really the same after Chris Squire and John Entwhistle checked out but I hope to see both (the bands !!) next year if only for old time’s sake.
1
I hope Greta Thunderbirds’s fleet of vans are environmentaly friendly.
1
Sirs:
Never heard of them until this entry.
Spent a few minutes checking them out.
I don’t see the Led Zeppelin connection. These kids are screechy and loud but not inventive.
However, they are playing instruments rather than Apple laptops, so I think they’re just twats. Not cunts. Yet.
1