Cunts in cars who pull up at red lights then slowly edge forward to the car in front – Something that really gets on my tits.
Why don’t the stupid twats just pull up a foot behind the car in front, put the handbrake on and fucking stay there?
Why pull up four feet away, then waste fucking petrol edging up slowly towards the car in front?
Fucking about with clutch control when they could just be sat there with the handbrake on.
In the scheme of things, something trivial, but why do the trivial avoidable things in life annoy me the most?? Answers on a small, edging forward slowly postcard please.
Nominated by: Bob Frapples
I drive a HGV all week, I’m on the road anything up to 60 hrs a week, I see possibly at least 5 avoidable crashes a week, sometimes fatal, it’s heartbreaking,so many people haven’t a clue how to drive property, merging onto motorways, lane changing, tailgating, the list is extensive, women with children in cars take unnecessary risk’s, our favourite bame are the worst on the road can’t swim can’t drive, personally I think a refresher should be done every year or two to keep up with the latest highway code and road changes,
Smart motorways my arse
15
There’s a set of traffic-lights near the village that lead onto a narrow bridge and then a steep long hill with 2 bad blind corners. I’ve seen caravanners stuck behind me when I’m on the County either burn their clutches or,even better, stall as we climb the hill…on one memorable occasion that still brings a chuckle, I even saw the Cunt stall,run back and finally jackknife.
I also had an idiot on a motorbike who,when the lights turned to green,tried to shoot past me just as I started to pull across the line onto the bridge…idiot clipped the front wheel of the County and landed up against the stonework of the bridge….I had very little sympathy for him.
13
Sir Dick-I honestly believe that the drivers of tractors, fast-tracks and Unimogs are the kings of the road: big enough to garner respect, slow enough to piss off the wankers, built like tanks so people don’t fuck with you-also most cunts would think twice about road raging a farmer type👍
I can picture you know, scowling at everyone you meet, flicking the “v” sign out of the cab window👍
4
It’s the timber wagons that you have to watch up here…there’s a lot of narrow roads and corners that they have to cut just to get round…and they certainly can’t stop on a sixpence when some fools on pushbikes decide not to get into single file.
Morning General
Morning All.
6
I remember once cutting the grass verges for the County Council on the A68. I had a cushion-wagon behind me as I drove the tractor. When we started to go up the Carter Bar (England/Scotland border), it’s double white lines for a couple of miles, some fucker who was stuck behind us overtook and pulled alongside me to wave his fist and mouth obscenities…I did indeed give him the V-sign but the best of it was when we finally got to the top,what should I see but numbnuts in his car eating a burger that he’d just got from the van in the layby.
I had words of advice for him.
8
Had a similar experience with a couple of chavs who lobbed a half full beer can at me on an A road back in the late 90’s-their hi jinx was suitably rewarded 10 minutes later when I spotted their car on the forecourt of a petrol station.
It’s amazing how quickly young cunts confidence drains when confronted by a raging lunatic.
They “lost” their car keys too😉
14
Commuting in and around Birmingham on various motorbikes over the years became more like dicing with death on a daily basis due to arsehole drivers too impatient to wait at lights or junctions.
Got knocked off 2 or 3 times – nothing serious other than the odd bike writeoff. But same old response from driver “Sorry mate, didn’t see you!”
Commuting steadily got worse during the 2010s probably due to all the gimmecunts driving around totally clueless about the HC.
So glad we moved up to the Lake District where everything is far more sedate and safer – other than the fucking 4×4 tourists driving through villages like it was a rally circuit.
7
Oh, and don’t get me started on the Lycra-clad wanker cyclists and their own definition of the HC!
7
My name for lycra-clad cyclists has evolved over the years. First it was MAMILs (middle-aged men in lycra) but they aren’t all middle aged men so it then became FILs (faggots in lycra) but then it occured to me that a man wearing lycra in public is by definition a faggot so the words “in lycra” are redundant so the term got shortened to Fs.
Then I realised that people would be confused by that term so I just call them faggots instead. Removes any ambiguity and people instantly know what I am talking about.
Southpark kind of had it right but about the wrong kind of bike-rider https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGyKBFCd_u4
3
THis reminds me of a scene from Larry David´s “Curb Your Enthusiasm” in which he bumps into a Hell´s Angel who is trying to overtake him and the enraged biker vrooms after him, cursing, giving him the finger and forces him to stop. As he looms over menacingly, Larry puts on a “Make America Great Again” Trump baseball cap and the Hells Angel immediately backs off and becomes Mr. Nice Guy. This cap had also helped him get a whole table to himself in a crowded restaurant as all the woke types did not want to sit near him. David is about the only American comic ready to take the piss out of the libtard idea that only redneck gun nuts and tattooed orcs support the Donald.
3
I assume the woke libtards who encounter the MAGA hat-wearing guy in a restaurant only backed away from him because they didn’t have sufficient numbers or sufficient concealed weapons……. fucking lefties – cowards to a he, she, zee, zim, zey, zir, they, them, it, this and that.
2
Slightly off topic but traffic related-a counting for me:
Having got up extra early to drive to work this morning, got 10 fucking miles down the road , thinking: “bloody quiet this morning”-then the cunny dropped-Wank holiday Monday😂
Fuck this lockdown, that’s my excuse.
What a Cunt😄😄😄
10
Aren’t the McDonalds still open ? Off you go and get that fryer switched on,General…there’ll be people looking for their egg McMuffin.
🙂 .
4
How rude-I wouldn’t piss in McDonalds doorway.
More chance of me being David Lammy’s pr guru.
😂
3
Im on the road a lot and see some selfish and careless driving,
Ill be happily doing 70mph on the m62 reading Harpers Bazaar and drinking coffee and some idiot will cut in without indicating!!
Spilt my moche latte!!
Well he wouldnt of been so cocky if he knew I wasnt insured.
Or for that matter had a driving license.
10
I can’t imagine that many newsagents carry Harpers Bazaar in your neck of the woods,Miserable… ” What Rigger Boots” possibly.
Does Mr.Polly send you his copy when he’s checked to see if they’ve answered his letters to The Problem Page ?
4
Admittedly hard to get Dick!😁
But if you want £500 cufflinks or to know where sophie Dahl buys her beetroot Harpers cant be beaten!👍
Yes mr Polly sends me his old copies once hes read them, the pages all covered in dried porridge fingerprints and the ‘what sporran’ section all circled in marker pen.😁
3
I´ve given up storing it in the lavvie though. The thick, glossy paper grates somewhat against the sensitive Polly rectum. I´ve gone back to using my hands after seeking advice from Greta whose impish face stares down at me as I go through the motions.
3
The standard of driving in this country is appalling. The useless government should bring in compulsory retests. Every 5 years until you’re 70, then every 2 years.
That would get almost all wimminz, doddery old farts, dawdling chīnks and about 30% of men off the road while the rest of us could have a couple of refresher lessons to correct any bad habits and then sail through the test.
9
I think that audio-visual recording devices should be fitted to test instructor car both internally and externally as a legal requirement and should be untamperable and accessible only to an independent agency.
You would see a huge drop over time in the number of women drivers on account of not being able to offer a blowjob for a pass (followed by a threat when blowjob refused).
4
I’m all for compulsory retesting, am sure it would add to the nation’s coffers as well. Furthermore, anyone with a driving licence from any another country who takes up residence does not get to automatically drive here without a test.
6
Indeed, in some countries all you have to do is go a hundred yards in a straight line to pass the test. Also, those very same countries are corrupt top to bottom, so if they fail that, a couple of rupees will sort it out.
2
I remember once cutting the grass verges for the County Council on the A68. I had a cushion-wagon behind me as I drove the tractor. When we started to go up the Carter Bar (England/Scotland border), it’s double white lines for a couple of miles, some fucker who was stuck behind us overtook and pulled alongside me to wave his fist and mouth obscenities…I did indeed give him the V-sign but the best of it was when we finally got to the top,what should I see but numbnuts in his car eating a burger that he’d just got from the van in the layby.
I had words of advice for him.
3
Africunts@
New to the UK?
Dont grasp the idea behind a 3lane motorway?
Best just to stay in the middle lane doing a sensible 45mph.
5
Have you ever looked at those videos on youtube of “Bad Drivers”…half of the problems are caused by the Cunts sending them in. A lot of them seem to speed up just so that they can then complain that someone pulled out in front of them or moan that they’ve been cut up at a roundabout even though the car is indicating that he wants to move over.
Bunch of wankers.
5
I do not like cars.They are the Devil’s work and seem in many cases to have retarded persons piloting them.
3
And the female Darth Vaders are the worst.They still think they are sat on a donkey.
Cunts.
7
The obsession with ever larger vehicles really fucks me off. Every cunt has got a range rover or equally obnoxious 4×4 now. There would be hummers too if our roads weren’t so narrow. And now the pickup truck is steadily increasing in popularity.
Can’t get 100 yards from my home without running into one or some other dickhead driver.
5
That might all change when petrol prices start to rise, along with the government’s threat of raising the duty on fuel for big Chelsea tractors and the like.
3
Apparently any oil that is being saved by switching to electric cars is more than lost by the increase in 4 x 4’s.
3
The mountain road to Aberystwyth is bedevilled by London-men driving on the wrong side of the road to take tight blind corners. Well, good for them! No one else uses these cranky little roads, do they? Except ME. But thanks for writing off my car, sweet boy – I needed to update. Lucky I insisted on getting your details when you tried to drive off, you cunt.
In the centre of Newtown, however, it is old men dodderers who do the same job running blithely into one when one is queued at traffic lights. Just the thing on Christmas Eve.
5
Darkies and Peacefuls drive badly because they are too thick to drive properly.
Some White cunts drive badly because they are cunts.
11
This might not be true in all situations but I find that if traffic is busy with a tailback to the previous junction/round about and then tailbacked in every direction from there, then the thing that will enable the traffic to move more quickly at all locations due to a cascading effect would be to increase the number of cars on any given stretch of road which would be achieved by shortening the distance between each car on that road.
Although I will admit, tailgaters are cunts.
3
I sometimes test drivers ability to emergency stop by dropping mannequins off bridges, and some people have very bad nerves, also potty mouthed!
We score them out of 10 and if you hold up a 1 after theyve badly swerved well, their faces are a picture!!😜
3
Traffic is interesting in that the start and end of a column can be moving whilst the middle is stationary.
That is one instance where driverless tech is appropriate. Remove human reaction times and have the middle move off almost all instantly, and the congestion evaporates.
2
But surely if the middle is stationary then that will result in rear-ending of the middle vehicles? Or were you talking specifically about driverless vehicles with intercommunicative coordination?
0
Can’t get my head around drivers that that pull up right behind the last vehicle in a cue of stationary traffic. Especially on a motorway. I always leave an escape route , ready for the twat that hasn’t seen the queue.
4
Handbrake on. Leave car running, approach tailgater. Open door. Two good hard punches in the face. Close door.
Apologise to 90 Year old lady you have just leathered, speed off thanking your lucky stars you had the presence of mind to clone B&WC’s plates! 😁👍
5
LOL…that’s the spirit.Vernon.
4
Bang on, Mr F.
The other cunts which really annoy me are when you’re approaching the lights and they change to red, so you ease off, to coast up and wait. Then some cunt comes screaming up behind and sits three inches from your bumper, quite often beeping or flashing lights in the process.
Wtf? The light ahead’s on red. You can’t go anyway, you mental fuck!
3
Commonly known as an ambulance Ron. 😂
5
Out of me fucking way, Ron🤣🤣🤣🤣
3