Went down soft brain memory lane today and thought I would watch the BBC programme “The Great Freeze 1963” which took place Nov ’62 – March ’63 so settled down in front of the telly with me last bottle of single malt vintage 1963.

Remembered The Freeze itself and programme well, a re-hash of the old Tonight footage fronted by bone dome comb-over BBC cunt Cliff Michelmore (long dead) with Kenneth Allsop (long dead) and Derek Hart (long dead) but alas no Alan Whicker (also long dead).

Pleasure to hear God’s own measurements – inches, feet, yards and miles, mph, real temperature in Fahrenheit – in God’s own language if a bit clipped, no froggie metric shite.

Then bugger me thought I must have a terminal brain tumour what with all the fake delamination, gate scratching and white snow jaggers going on – not to forget the occasional frame freeze. Count meself l ucky frozen Britain did not start boogying around like a speeded up Keystone Cops (look them up cunts) silent comedy.

Wazzup Bro? A new breed of woke video editors is fucking up our historic footage (they count the ‘60s as historic) at the BBC and at the various clip agencies that they draw from. They think that de yoot can only relate to the past (or our yesterdays) if it is first fucked over to create a never never land of FX. (FX in my book means Fake Effect)

Only surprise is that the BBC did not apply my least favourite technique, colorization to the original monochrome footage. Hitler would love it if he could see himself now. (Explanatory: The Fuhrer and his merry men are probably the most regularly colorized cunts on the internet).

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The old cunt couple that run Talking Pictures TV out of a shed in their back garden saw all this coming back in the ‘70s and bought up the rights to shed loads of B/W footage unwanted by distributors in the new dawn of colour. There was a time when the BBC and the BFI (British Film Institute) did the opposite of what now happens, sensitively and sometimes miraculously restoring archive footage including Victorian porn.

Howso Bro? Nowadays even the most basic image and home video editing software has tools to provide vintage film effects and colorization. You can do it online with Google or FaceBook or download software for free.

The results are all up there with brain drool cunts showing off their garish and flaky versions of The Somme or great uncle Tom getting topped for cowardice in 1916. They then email or FB the shite to each other. “Great pecker color uncle Hank.” “Really cool red ya got there for the horse entrails buddy.” “Jeez don’t that little Edwardian girl look just so sweet bending over in her pink bloomers. Great definition Billy Bawb – ya can go right in and in.”

It all started with versions of Final Cut and similar pro studio packages. If you need a tech wank go here: https://filmlook.com/

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Tesco “No Naughtiness” TV Ad.

Well we all know that Tescos is really a fun palace don’t we? Their stores are full of happy, laughing shoppers and staff, just there for the great craic.

Ok, no it’s not. Tescos is a huge money making machine. Entirely humourless even by supermarket standards.

Shoppers are their to buy goods. And to check out asap.

So why pretend that they want to cheer up their customers? They say 2020 has been such a horrid year and now our favourite grocer wants to make us all
happy and to not feel guilty.

It wants us to indulge ourselves by buying luxury calorific foods to make us feel better. No matter that a large proportion of the Great British public have been doing little else but sitting at home ordering a record number of takeaways and consuming mega tons of rich food which they stuff their faces with.

Tescos. Don’t try to be funny it doesn’t suit you. Everyone knows you don’t give a toss about us and simply want us to turn up and spend money with you. Which we do.

You have had freedom to sell non-essential goods when all the smaller shops had to close. Boosting your profits even more. Ok so you make a gesture by returning the rate rebates you didn’t need. Or you jumped before you were pushed.

But just don’t pretend you are a caring, sharing, people-loving organisation. We know you screw your suppliers and farmers into the ground. We know you would like to dominate every sector of every market if you could. The Amazon of bricks and mortar.

The fake, enforced jollyness of your Christmas TV ad makes me as sick as if I’d swallowed 6 boxes of your premium minced pies. With your double cream.

Merry Christmas Tesco.

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss

What bollocks is this? Who are these cockney white folk? Saafenders more like. ‘It aint legal, Tiff!’ Bollocks.

‘Arr god tellz (sic) it is rrite.’ is more likely.

Where is the peaceful establishment of religion?

Where are the stabbings?

‘Ah’m not ‘ere to star’ a fight.’

Fack off you cunt. Wiv that accent, you belong in Ken’.

‘We arrre togetherrr my habibis’ would be more truthful.

Fuck the BBC.

Nominated by: Dark key cunt

Sir Philip Green: Capitalist Cunt of the Decade.

I support free enterprise but this greedy git gives it a bad name.

Corporate raider. Asset stripper. He hollows out any company he buys. Fails to invest. Runs them into the ground. Extracts huge dividends which he pays over to his wife in Monaco. 1.2 billion from BHS alone. Sold it for £1 to a serial bankrupt with a huge hole in the pension fund.

This also begs the question: how bad does someone have to be to lose a knighthood?

The Tories awarded one to this spiv for “services to retail”. He only ever served himself. Excess is his middle name. £100 million luxury yacht moored in Monaco. Dressed as a Roman emperor for his 50th birthday bash. Hired Tom Jones to sing. Kate Moss on his arm.

A notoriously quick-tempered hideous tubby little man who considers himself to be a business genius and fashion guru. Unable to cope with hi tec he got his secretary to print out emails for him to read. Won’t use a computer. Dismisses social media marketing. A luddite and now a dinosaur. Lost 25000 jobs. Left another massive pension hole for his employees.

Now has more time to spend in Monte Carlo. Say hi to that other deluded billionaire resident the soon-to-be Sir Lewis Hamilton from us Phil.

What a pair of feckers.

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss 

(Good luck with this one. – DA)

I’m going to cunt perspective.

I know some of the more academic cunters (although always courteous and respectful) will probably roll their eyes and say something along the lines of “who gave this idiot books and internet, someone please make him watch TV again”, but I’m consumed with the paradoxical problem that the more I learn and think, the more I realise how fucking stupid and ignorant I am. It’s like taking a bite from a cake and every time time you swallow a mouthful, the fucking thing gets 10 times bigger….

As you’ll probably gather, I haven’t taken the inspiration of this cunting from any book, it’s just what I’ve realised through my journey recently.

I apologise in advance if you’ve heard the same crap from the first week of an amateur philosophy class or something….. I’m not an intellectual, I’m just an electrician.

I’ve been thinking, and one thing I’m wresting with at the moment is perspective.
Is there a “good” side or an “evil” side?
Or just winner and loser….

Is what we think we know, fact, or someone else’s perspective of truth.

The truth is not the same from different perspectives….

Fact is true, truth is subjective…. or is it the other way around?

A fact has to have context (surely). Truth is the context of a fact. Truth is subjective depending on perspective.

That’s what I’m thinking about tonight… Help me….

Since I cancelled my BBC licence I’ve been reading as much as I can (Solzhenitsyn, Orwell, Frankel etc, got some Dostoevsky but its a bit over my head at the mo… and I’ve got some Aristotle on order, can’t wait to read that) and I’ve spent A LOT of time on telegram. I really want to see how people think and how they’ve come to their conclusions. I’m not an academic or intellectual, but I’m fascinated by humans, in all our splendour and cuntitude…

I follow communists, Nazis, libertarians, all types. (Surprisingly, of all those, libertarians are actually the most bat-shit crazy).

Weirdly, I’ve learned that there are many sides to every story and 2 sides can be totally conflicting, but both still true… it all depends on perspective.

I’m sure the more intellectual cunters can give some better examples, but here are a few of my own…

Take the British empire for example….

From my old perspective, it brought technology, education, infrastructure and medicine to less advanced peoples. It saved far more blacks from diseases and early deaths than it killed from war or slavery.

We were told during the Brexit referendum that we would be poorer, loose our infrastructure, investment, health service and standing in the world. I chose sovereignty.
So now I take a different perspective on the British empire. Was it good or bad?

As a consequence of that I actually don’t hate David Lammy and his ilk for hating white people (not for that anyway, he’s still cunt coz he’s here, he should slag us off from Africa if he hates us so much). From their perspective though, whites conquered them, and for that we will never be forgiven.

I feel the same way about him and his people by the way. I know what’s coming.

Are communists worse that nazis? Who killed more? Does it matter?
Both cunts, depends on perspective.
Is religion about spiritual atonement or territorial / ideological conquest?
Both true, depends on perspective. Again, no religion rose without blood all over its hands, but would you regard old biddies at the soup kitchen as conquerors?
You might say “liberal values built our great society”.
That would be true.
You could also say “liberal values are destroying our society”.
That would also be true.
You might say “liberal society is degenerate and immoral ”
True I guess, but relative to what?
Perspective.
Was George Floyd a criminal that got what he deserved, or a victim of police brutality?
Both are true.
Do blacks have a higher prison rate because of racism or the fact that they have a degenerate culture?
Both are true to a degree. I have a perspective, but others have a different one.
Is social justice about helping the marginalised, or persecuting the non believers?
I know my thoughts, but again, perspective.

See why I think perspective is such a cunt?

As much as I wish I could, I don’t hate others with different views, as we all view the world from a different angle.

Why can’t facts just be facts?
Why can’t cold hard stats have no context?
They can, but most are meaningless without it….

From the perspective of the fact comes “the truth”, which may seem like gospel to that individual, but complete bollocks, or even “evil” to someone else.

So we choose our truths subjectively based on objective facts. But those “facts” (more often than not) are in fact someone else’s truths, fed to us through someone else’s perspective.

We all choose our perspective, or have it engraved in our thinking through education, media, environment, upbringing or experience.
Who’s to say one individuals experience is more valid than another’s?

Why view anyone (to a degree of course) as evil rather than a victim of perspective?

Facts are nothing without perspective.
Or am I just tying my brain in knots over nothing, or trying to understand people that don’t deserve to be understood?

This is all making me glad I didn’t choose a more intellectual path in life as, although I’m enjoying reading lots of books now, I’m not studying them, so although I ponder the ideas and think about them for a short time, it tends to go in one ear and right out the other. And the more I learn, the more confused I become about the world.

Maybe I’m better off as an electrician, with a simple life.
Yea, think I’ll stick to being a peasant, crack open that nice bottle of Whitby IPA I have in the fridge, and then go up and shag the lass…..

A simple life is better, maybe I’ll even plug myself back into the matrix one day…..

Orange man bad.
Diversity is our strength.
What demographic replacement?
Tolerance.
Religion of peace.
That evil, this good…..

BTW if you think that was all bollocks, fine.
I am…. quite, quite drunk.

Nominated by: Deploy the Sausage