What is in these peoples heads that every pub evening it’s so uncivilised pint glasses get chucked at people? Don’t get me wrong I’ve seen a fair few funny moments and so has the cunt in the corner on his own reading the guardian or mirror on his own. It’s no excuse not to frequent the establishment.

These cat-loving cretins with velure curtains love to watch EastEnders every night and never venture out their shit pit because they are scared of the Farooqs hanging round the corner shop. Yet they try to get it to shut down because they live so a lonely existence. When in reality these people would help them.

Secondly is the gym cunt, these bastards are a right pain in the arse. They might spend 20 quid a month running on a piece of rubber but fuck me, what’s the point unless you join the forces? Get all that lycra and bend over on Instagram, it doesn’t make you anymore appealing. I’d much more a deep conversation over a can of black rat quite frankly.

Do these people not realise that pubs are in some respect the last bastion of culture in this once great country only to be screwed over by corner shops (run by shady tax-dodging cunts selling overpriced cans of orange boom) and supermarkets and religious zealots.

The pub is the hub. When a lockdown is over, let’s make it work. I don’t give a shit if you hate Tim Martin or not, the guy is a legend in my eyes and so are all landlords for having to put up with these cunts trying to fuck you over. I take of my hat to you!

Nominated by: Clown Clown the Cunty Man 

The Covid jab is a cunt.

Nothing to do with chinky skullduggery, Bill Gates, flat earthers or any of that crap.
I had the shot on Saturday afternoon (because of a kidney related problem) and it makes you fucking suffer. Every bit of me, apart from my knob, aches. Splitting headaches, shivering even when the heating is on, nausea, puking. That’s why I’ve been missing for a day or two and I am still suffering the after effects. I don’t know if it works in the long term, but its side effects are a total cunt.

Nominated by: Norman

and on a similar side-effects note, here’s one  from Sir Limply Stoke

Dodgy vaccines, dodgy politicians

Did a quick tot up and going back to 1952 I have had the following innoculations:
Kicked off with smallpox and since then I have also had vaccs for diptheria, typhoid, tetanus, polio, TB, some bizzare Indian bug which I caught anyway, hepatitus, seasonal flu, pneumonia and most recently Covid (Oxford AstraZeneca). am still alive and have never vomited aliens. No side effects from any of them or their boosters.
Then along comes the Oxford AstraZeneca and immediately demonstrates Black Opps – denounced by hissy fit EU as untestested, Macron states it doesn’t work, Merkel announces on TV that she would not take it. Then EU claims it fails to work on under 30s then it is dangerous for the over 65s (that’s me fucked then). Then along come the blood clots and rather counter-intuitively haemorrhaging as alleged in Austria and Italy. Also South Africa dumps its batches on darkest Africa claiming they do not work on virus variants.

Much speculation that it is a rogue batch but news blackout on which plant in which country produced it. Manufacturing sites include India, UK, Switzerland, Italy and Norway.
http://www.businessinsider.com/astrazeneca-covid-vaccine-countries-suspend-denmark-thailand-batch-blood-clots-2021-3?r=US&IR=T

Clearly at a time of great shortage worldwide of vaccines there is a large slosh of same circulating unwanted. This leads me to the Big Idea. Iran has a great shortage of vaccines and while the uncharitable may think “tough cheddar” there is the Zadari Ratcliff hostage problem. Iran claims a large wodge of cashola for paid for but undelivered UK tanks dating back to the fall of the Shah and the smart money has it that the present and ongoing hostage situation is an attempt to extort same from the UK. Solution? Swop hostage for dodgy vaccines. Simple.

Humanitarian concern that our Iranian friends might develop blood clots? Tough cheddar.

Anne Marie-Slaughter is a cunt. This woke “international ” Lawyer, political “scientist” (it’s not science) and public commentator (Princeton and Oxford naturally), or in other words a cunt thinks the US should have a foreign policy based on racial equity. In other words bomb brown people in Syria then bomb white people somewhere else, presumably Serbia or maybe London. What a cunt. Fuck the US until Trump gets back in. I’d much rather have Pooen in charge.

https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2021/03/01/have-you-lost-your-mind-blue-check-envisions-a-foreign-policy-with-racial-equity-at-its-core/

Nominated by: Smug cunt

Greetings, pale, male, and stale cis-scum! I, Olwain Tolkien-Abdullah (pronouns they/them – misgenger me and I WILL SUE) have hijacked that filthy heterosexual Chimp Licker’s account to cunt that legacy media relic:
‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?’
I watched an episode of this the other night and was shocked to see that not only did it feature a WHITE PERSON, but that the ancestors of that white person were ALL WHITE TOO!
For shame! Where’s the representation? Don’t they know that, according to the Natural History Museum…
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2018/feb/07/first-modern-britons-dark-black-skin-cheddar-man-dna-analysis-reveals

…the first Brits were BAME (even though they had blue eyes) and were therefore, I infer, Peacefuls – even though they preceded the advent of that religion by millennia?

And to make matters worse, all their ancestors had produced offspring by male-female pairings, thereby tacitly endorsing non-non-heterosexual means of reproduction!

But I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, bearing in mind this terrestrial teleblog is the product of the rabidly right-wing BBC! But I remain hopeful the great British public will have the good sense to ignore their own biased genetic inheritance in favour of flavour-of-the-week socio-political fads…Allah willing!

Nominated by: Chimp Licker